Comfort
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Senior year has started and Annabel needs nothing more than her boyfriend. But when his sister needs his comfort too, who will he choose? Takes place after Summer Heat.
1. Chapter 1

Comfort

Chapter 1

"Can I have this?"

I made a face, looking up. "Um…sure?"

Owen nodded, continuing to go through the stack of old proofs from my modeling days. "Ooh, and this. Can I take this?"

"Bear, this is getting awkward." I looked over at him from my bed. "Especially because you're about to get to the photos of me when I was, like, under 14."

"I don't want any of those. God." He glanced back at me, holding up a bikini shot. "Just this one. Can I have this one?"

"Sure, whatever."

He sat it aside. "I'm not gonna, like, jerk off to them if that's what you think."

"That is what I think."

"I just want them."

"For what?"

"…I don't want to lie. I probably will do that, sometimes."

"We really don't need to be that honest with one another. Really."

"I could take some sexy shots for you too," he offered.

"I didn't take those for you."

"I still could. If you want."

"I don't."

"Bah. You just couldn't contain yourself if you saw me at my maximum sexiness."

"…I'm busy over here with homework. Could you be quiet over there?"

He glanced back at me again. "I can't believe you already have a paper to write. It's the third week of school."

"You have one to write too, mister."

"I ain't doing it."

"You ain't?"

He shrugged. "Ain't is occasionally appropriate."

"When exactly?"

"At moments like now."

"Oh, okay then."

Smiling, Owen put the stuff he didn't want back in my dresser drawer. "Hey, can I look in your other drawers?"

"What exactly are you hoping to find?"

"I dunno."

"All you'll find is bras and underwear. It's kind of sorry if that's what you're looking for."

He just picked up his photos and headed over to my bed. "Maybe I'll be that sorry another day. I have these; they're enough."

"You're a freak."

"A lot of guys look at photos of their girlfriends. A lot worse one than these." He looked up at me suddenly, sitting there at the end of the bed. "Hey, do you think you'd wanna-"

"No."

"Why-"

"Number one, that's a slutty thing to do. Number two, you'd share them with other guys."

"I would not."

"That's what every guy says."

"Thanks for generalizing me."

"You're welcome."

"Who would I share them with anyways, huh?" He was looking back at my modeling shots now, flipping through them again.

"Rolly. And then Rolly would share them with his friends and then I get called the school slut again."

"You were never the school slut," he told me. "You know that."

"Owen-"

"You weren't." He was staring up at me again, watching my eyes. "And if I ever hear someone say that, I'll be the one to put an end to it this time."

I didn't want to look at him anymore and instead opened my laptop, going back to what I was doing before. You'd think senior English would just be a blow off class. You'd think.

"Your hair's starting to go light again," Owen mentioned to me now as he moved up the bed to lay next to me. "I mean, the brown's fading."

"I know."

"Are you going to, like, mess with it again?"

"You like it blonde."

"I don't care, Annabel."

"It's kind of obvious, Bear." Reaching out, I rubbed his shaved head. "It's okay. Like, I like your hair this way, more than I did before. Long."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And I like this," I said, reaching down to rub his stubbly chin. "I think it's cute."

"I'm not cute, Annabel."

"Of course not. You're a bear."

"A grizzly."

"Or a teddy."

"Annabel-"

"Teddy bear."

"I am not. I'm a freaking grizzly." He nuzzled into my hand as I moved to cup his cheek. "Fear me."

"Completely." Looking back at my laptop, I said, "But I have work to do right now."

"Bella-"

"If I do it now, then we can have all weekend to be together."

"But I don't want either now or then. I want both."

"That's because you're a greedy little bear."

"Little?"

"It's all relative."

"And what am I in relation to that would make me little?"

"Don't question your master, Bear." I pushed his head once more before finally getting back to typing. "Which is me, by the way."

"In what way are you my master?"

"In what way am I not?" I smiled, but didn't look at him again. "You do whatever I say, right?"

"Wrong."

"Basically."

"I do not."

"Go get me a soda."

"No."

"Now, Bear."

"Annabel-"

"Please?" I looked at him finally, reaching out to rub his chin again. "You can get yourself one too."

Groaning, he pushed out of the bed. "Fine. But in no way are you my master."

"Mmmhmm." I rolled my eyes. "Bring me chips."

"I thought you couldn't eat upstairs?"

"Dad's the only one home. He doesn't care as long as I take my trash downstairs."

"Fine," he groaned, heading out of the room. "I'll be back."

"'kay."

While he was gone, I got out of bed too, though it was just to change the CD that was in. It was a new one that Owen had brought over with him and though I love him to death, sometimes his music makes me want to smother him in his sleep.

"What is this?" he asked the second he came back into the room. I hardly looked up from my laptop. "Bella?"

"I changed the CD."

"Oh, I know that. I wouldn't have minded that."

"Then what-"

"I don't like this CD. It's all…over produced, marketed-"

"Bear, I want to listen to this."

"And I don't."

"Well, it's my house." I motioned him over. "Drink please. Now."

Groaning, he came over to give me to coke and bag of chips. "Fine. We can listen to this."

"That's right."

"What?"

I just smiled as I popped the tab on my soda. "Nothing."

"No. What?"

"Nothing," I insisted. 'It's just funny."

"What's funny?"

"How you're my bitch."

He growled as he got back into bed with me. "I am not your bitch."

"You kind of are."

"Not in any way shape or form."

"In fact, I don't even tell people you're my boyfriend anymore. When they ask me who you are, I just tell them you're my bitch."

"If I called you a bitch, you'd be mad," he pointed out.

"Yeah, well, that's 'cause I'm a girl and you're a boy. Boy's can't call girls names."

"Oh, but girls can call boys names?"

"Always."

"Don't sound very fair."

"It's not fair. It's life. If you weren't so stupid, you'd know."

He just groaned as he laid back on the bed. "You get on my nerves on sometimes, you know that?"

"Yeah, I've figured."

* * *

"I swear she's doing this just to get back at me."

I made a face at my father. "She told you she'd be home late."

"And? You know where she is," he said. "She's out shopping again, with that woman."

"Kimberly. That's her name. They're friends," I told him.

"And?" Dad shook his head as he continued to stare down at the counter where a burnt casserole sat. She had told us to put it in when we got home and time it out, but we either put it on too long or too high because we screwed it up. "She's spending my money. You know how much money's she spent this month alone? This is unbelievable. And then she expects me to make my own dinner?"

"We can just order a pizza," I suggested, pulling my phone out and beginning to dial the only pizza place I called anymore by heart. "Do you want-"

"Let me guess, Owen's working."

"Well…yes, but-"

Reaching over, he grabbed my phone from me before setting it on the counter. Then he picked up the pan of casserole before going to dump it in the trashcan.

"Let's go out to dinner," he said, going to put the pan in the sink. "Just me and you. You have school in the morning, so it's better than waiting around for some stupid pizza."

"Dad-"

"We can go anywhere you want," he told me, heading out of the room now to get his shoes. "You've got ten minutes. Meet me in the car."

Dad and I hadn't gone out to dinner alone in ages. Then again, I assume most the dinners he bought before summer were for very different reasons with very different women. Still, Whitney told me that I shouldn't get involved in all that, not like Kirsten was. No matter what he and Mom were, he was still my dad. And, as she pointed out, he had never done _me_ wrong. Ever. And I'm pretty sure he never would.

"Mom's calling," I told him not soon after we first got into the car, heading towards the restaurant.

"Answer it," he said, hardly glancing at me. "Your ring tone is annoying."

"Yeah, Owen thinks so too," I sighed as I answered. "Hello?"

"I called your dad's phone. Is he not home?"

No greeting? I frowned. "We went out. Me and him."

"Annabel, don't lie for-"

"I'm not." I glanced at him, but he was staring straight ahead again. "He's right here. Dad, say hi."

He just grunted, clearly angry that she was calling us.

"See? He's here."

"Where are you going?"

"Out to dinner," I told her.

"What happened to the-"

"We burnt it."

"How?"

"Well," I began though that was as far as I got. I had no idea where to go from there.

"Where are the two of you going to eat? Kim and I will meet you there."

I glanced at my father again. "Dad, Mom wants to meet us at-"

"No," he said, still not looking at me. Instead, he just reached down and turned up the stereo slightly. "Tell her it's just me and you tonight."

"Dad says that he just wants to hangout with me tonight," I told my mother on the phone. "He-"

"Let me talk to him."

"He's driving, Mom."

"Let me talk to him," she repeated. "Now."

"Dad, she wants to talk to you," I said, removing the phone from my ear. "She-"

"No."

"What?"

"Tell her no. This is our day. She had her chance to be a part of it and she ruined it." He turned the radio up even more. "She went shopping. That was her choice."

Whitney told me not to get involved, but they really weren't leaving me many options here.

In the end, Mom hung up, very angry at my father. And he just pretended like nothing happened, even singing along when his favorite Eagles song came on the radio. Once again, both stuck up on the same problem, but neither willing to bend a little to see the others point of view.

"Don't tell me it's your mother again," Dad complained when, as soon as we sat down, my cell vibrated. "I really don't want to talk to her if it is."

"It's Owen," I said, reading the text. "He wants to know if I'm busy."

"Well, you are."

"I know," I said, picking up the phone. "Just let me tell him-"

"It can wait."

"But-"

"It can wait," he repeated before nodding at the menu in front of me. "This is our dinner. That does not include your mother or your boyfriend. Just the two of us."

"But he-"

"Just for a while, Annabel." He shook his head. "You two act like you're inseparable. You do realize that you spent years without him, right?"

"Yes," I agreed.

"Alright then. You can spend some time with me, alone." Dad smiled then. "Tell me about school."

"What's there to tell? All I do is talk to Owen."

He sighed, shaking his head. "Then let's talk about something else."

"Okay," I said, game. "Can I get a dog?"

"Annabel."

"You said I couldn't have one before because Whitney was afraid of dogs. Whitney's gone now."

"And in a year, you'll be in college. Then what?"

"Then you and Mom can keep him for me. Or O-" I stopped myself, knowing that my father had already said to stop talking about my boyfriend.

"Won't Owen be at college too?"

"No," I said slowly, now staring intently on at the menu.

"Then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where is Owen going? Is he planning to join the military?"

"No."

"A trade school?"

"No."

"Then what, Annabel?"

I glanced up at him. "Nothing."

"Nothing like you're not going to tell me or-"

"He doesn't want to do anything."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning what I said. He doesn't want to do anything. He just wants to stay at home and keep working."

"Delivering pizzas is hardly working."

"Then he'll get another job. Dad, I don't know what he wants, okay?"

"Well, he needs to be planning for the future right about now."

"That is his future. He doesn't want to do anything," I told him, shrugging. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"I'm not saying I do want you to do something about it. I'm just saying-"

"I thought we weren't going to talk about Owen anymore?"

My father frowned. "Fine. No dog."

"But-"

"When you get your own house and set your own rules, you can get a dog."

"Dad-"

"Your mom and I are dealing with a lot right now, Annabel," he said with a shake of his head. "Maybe when things calm down some, we can talk about it again. Alright? Around Christmas."

"'kay," I gave in as the waiter came to get our orders. "Alright."

* * *

This year was a lot different than last year. Sure, yeah, we're finally seniors, the crème de la crème, but that wasn't all. Owen and I still had lunch together and the same last period. Yet still, there was more.

"Hey, this is Annabel and that was Story of my Life. I'll see you guys tomorrow at six sharp." I smiled over at Owen, who was sitting with his arms crossed, angry that my last song hadn't been up to his par. "Until then."

I synced up the next track for group that came on after me before heading out of the booth with my boyfriend. I had had my job at the station for awhile now, but Owen was still unimpressed. I got the Monday through Wednesday, six till eight thirty slot and he still didn't care. Not that I'm shocked. I think it's more jealousy than anything.

"I hate going to school every morning, after doing the show," I told Owen after I got into the car with him. "Don't you?"

He shrugged, not saying anything. We both got our first off period in the morning to accommodate my radio show. He was my ride most everywhere now, be it from the station or too school, we went everywhere together. It was…nice.

"Owen, don't get all upset. It's not my fault that I'm better than you at everything. Including hosting a radio show."

Owen just reached over, ignoring my teasing as he laid his hand on my thigh. Squeezing tightly, he said, "You're lucky I'm in love with you."

"Mmmm. I've got a twenty," I told him. "Wanna get donuts?"

"If you want, fine. We've got twenty minutes to kill, like usual."

Sighing, I leaned against the car window. "So Dad and I went out to dinner last night."

"You've mentioned that."

"When we got home, Mom was ticked."

"You said they fought."

"They screamed at each other." I shook my head. "I'm kind of getting tired of it all though, you know?"

My thigh got another squeeze. "Yeah, I know."

Smiling over at him, I said, "I love you."

"Yeah, I know."

"And Dad said that I could get a dog, by the way."

"Really now?"

"Well, he said we'd see about it, around Christmas. He wants him and Mom to stop fighting first."

"What kind of dog would you get?"

"I dunno."

"Big or small?"

"Big."

"Hmmm. Would you want it as a puppy or-"

"I don't know, Bear," I told him thoughtfully. "I'd like to think so, but if I saw an older dog that, like, needed me or whatever, I would take it."

"Needed you?"

"Like if I went down to the pound and they were about to put a dog down because of space, I would take him."

"Yeah, but if you take him, that just means that another one gets put down in his place."

"…Why can't you be this smart in school?"

Laughing, my thigh got one last squeeze before he released it. "That wasn't smart, Bella. That was logical. And are you saying I'm dumb in school?"

"Not in so many words."

He shook his head at me. "You're hilarious, you know that?"

"I've been told, sure."

"By who?"

"Uh, try anyone with any amount of intelligence."

"Is that another dumb joke?"

"Why Bear, whatever do you mean?"

* * *

"How was school?"

I hardly glanced at my mother as I walked into the kitchen. "It was fine."

"Where's Owen?"

"With Mallory. She's not… He just needed to be with her today." I shrugged. "We're together in the mornings anyways. When we go do the radio show."

"Is he still angry about that?"

"He was never angry, Mom," I said, making a face at her as I went to get an apple out of the fruit basket in the middle of the table. "He just put a lot into Anger Management, you know? He thinks I bested him."

"You did," she told me, still just sitting at the table while flipping through a magazine. "You hurt his pride, dear. Not only did he get beat and not only was it by a girl, but it was also by his girlfriend. And at something he cares so much about. It's not a shock that he's still upset by it."

Frowning, I went to rinse off my apple. "I didn't mean to-"

"Of course not. And he knows that." She shrugged slightly. "What can you do though? Boys, men, they're all so easy to wound. They're like babies. Every little thing hurts them. Their pride, at least. That's what makes them so weak."

I considered this before heading out of the room and up the stairs. I had some trig homework I needed to take care of. That's the class Owen and I ended up with together. Trig. Yeah. I knew that I had to get the homework done so that he could copy it before school tomorrow. That's my life now. A cheater. A trigonometry cheater.

"Annabel," I heard my mother call from downstairs not long after I had made it into my bedroom. "I'm going out. I'll be home late."

I jumped up from my bed and went to open my bedroom door. "Does Dad know?"

I could hear her huff at that, all the way upstairs. "He might be your father, Annabel, but he's not mine."

"I didn't mean…he just mentioned yesterday that he didn't like having to make his own dinner," I tried, hoping to hint her along. "So maybe-"

"Then he should have hired a chef, not married me," she retorted. "Goodbye, Annabel."

I stood there for a moment, leaning against my doorframe as she left the house. Why didn't they get that if they were going to make this work, they had to actually try? Not each try to hurt each other, but actually try?

Shaking my head, I went to get back to work on my homework. Whitney told me they weren't my main concern, so why focus on them at all? I couldn't make them perfect again. In fact, I don't even think they ever were.

It didn't take long for my cell phone to ring. I assumed it was Owen and that he wanted to come over, so I answered without checking.

"Hey, Bear."

"I- Annabel?"

"Dad?" I choked on nothing. "Oh, uh…I thought you were…"

"Bear?"

"Dad."

He let out a breath noisily. "Anyways, Annabel, I just wanted you to know that I won't be home on time tonight. Tell your-"

"Mom's out too," I told him.

"What?"

"Yeah."

"Well…is there anything for you to eat?"

"I'll just order pizza."

I could hear in the tone of his voice that he didn't like this. "Is that the plan?"

"It's my plan."

"Annabel-"

"We stay home alone together all the time, Dad."

"Yeah, that was before I knew you called him Bear."

I blushed. "Fine. If you don't want me to order pizza, fine. You'll have to bring me something home though. I mean, after how that casserole turned out-"

"You can eat with your boyfriend, Annabel. I don't care," he gave in, like usual. "If your mom calls though, tell her that I'm watching the game."

"Where?"

"A bar," he told me. "You'll probably be in bed when I get home, so goodnight."

"Goodnight."

After he hung up, I immediately sent Owen a text asking if he worked and if he did that I wanted him to come over after, bringing pizza. And if he wasn't working, then he could come by any time with dinner. I was alone, after all.

I stayed that way too, for most of the night. Owen never sent me a reply back and I figured something must have happened with his sister. Around nine, I gave up hope and went downstairs to find something to make myself.

Sure, I could still order pizza, but come on. I really don't even like pizza. Who does after the age of ten? I've spent eighteen years on this planet and I'm pretty sure if you counted out every single meal I've eaten, pizza would count for over half. Everyone knows pizza's only good when you haven't had it in awhile.

Anyways, I was in the kitchen making myself a sandwich when a car pulled up into the driveway. I knew this because the headlights shone through the glass front of the house. I assumed it was just one of my parents until when I glanced out there and saw the Land Cruiser.

"Owen," I complained as I opened the front door. He had had time to get out of his car and head up the walk. "I thought you didn't get my message."

"'course I got it, Bell," he said, still heading towards me, pizza box in one hand, a 2-liter of soda in the other. "Pineapple and sausage with extra cheese and a liter of Diet Pepsi."

"Aw, Bear." I took a step back as he came into the house. "Why didn't you text me back?"

"Didn't feel like it, I guess" He shrugged as he handed me the pizza and soda before taking off his boots and shutting the door. Then, taking them back from me, he headed into the kitchen. "Let me guess, parents out again?"

"Yeah."

"What is it this time? Your dad can't possibly be having another work party."

"No," I sighed, following him into the other room. "They both went out alone. Dad's at a sports bar and Mom is…I don't know."

"Can I assume that they'll both be home late?"

"Yeah."

"Great." He sat the pizza down on the table before grabbing a plate. Quickly, he pulled out half the pieces and piled them on it. "Let's take this upstairs, huh?"

I smiled meekly. "Sure."

Owen headed up to my room while I poured myself some of the Diet Pepsi and got him a coke from the fridge. When I got to my bedroom, Owen had already sat the plate of pizza down on my bed while he messed with the stereo.

"Sometimes I think you like music more than you like me."

"Now, Bella, you know that I loved music first, but I love you too now. Neither of you, though, is any better than the other."

"You had better love me more than music," I warned as I sat the sodas down before getting into bed.

"Jealousy doesn't suit you well."

"Oh? And it does you?"

"Why yes, it does," he said as he moved to get into bed with me. "But then again, everything suits me well."

"Me too though, right? Aren't I perfect?"

"You are. When you're not jealous that is."

"Then I wouldn't be perfect."

"Shut up and eat your pineapple," he ordered, pulling a piece off a slice and shoving it in my mouth. "Bella."

I smiled at him, swallowing. "How was Mallory?"

"Alright. She's not feeling well of course, but what can I do about that?"

I pulled a piece of sausage of the piece now, feeding it to him. "I'm sorry, Bear."

"I'm gonna hate when you really do something bad," Owen told me. "'cause when you really have something to be sorry for, you probably won't say anything other than sorry."

"Cute." I poked his nose before finally picking up a piece of pizza. "You wanna copy my trig homework now?"

"After we eat," he said, grabbing his own slice of pizza. "Have I told you yet today that I love you?"

"I think so."

My nose got a poke. "Good. Because I do."

"I know." I smiled as he ripped off a piece of his crust and held it up to my mouth. "I love you too."

Feeding me the crust, he said, "Good."

We shifted back on the bed, Owen laying down on his back, me on my side, while we balanced the plate on his chest. Giggling, I fed him a piece of my crust.

"I think we eat too much pizza," I told him.

"Yeah, me too."

"I don't even really like pizza," I admitted.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, I did as a kid. It was, like, one of my favorite foods."

"I think it's like that for everybody, Bell. Burgers, nachos, tacos, pizza, ice cream. Those are, like, every kids favorite food." He glanced at me. "What's your favorite food now though?"

I cocked an eyebrow. "You mean you don't know?"

He took this challenge seriously, frowning slightly as he thought. Then, suddenly, he smiled, shaking his head slightly. "French fries."

I pushed at his chest gently, careful not to knock the plate off. "How'd you know?"

"Because every time we go out to eat at a burger place, you always bash how much I'm eating before giving me most of your burger and stealing at least half my fries."

"I do not."

"Do too." He reached out and patted my stomach. "S'okay. It's kind of sexy, watching you eat fries."

"You think everything's sexy."

"Not everything," he told me in that honest tone he always seemed to have. "Just most things."

"Mmmm."

"Now what's my favorite?"

"Person? Me."

"Ha ha. Hardly."

"Bear."

"What's my favorite food?" He turned his head to the side, staring at me. "Bella?"

"Mmmm…Meatloaf."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Yes."

"Good job." He smiled at me. "How'd you know that?"

"I just do." Taking another bite of pizza, I added, "You know, 'cause I love you and junk."

He choked on his pizza. "You love my junk?"

"What?"

"Bella, that's rather forward, but-"

"That's not what I said."

"Yeah, okay."

"It's not! I said that I love you _and junk_."

"Well, do you love my junk?"

I blushed in the dark. "Considering I've never seen it, I couldn't give you my honest opinion."

For a second, we stared at each other, his head still turned to the side.

"Would you…like to?"

"Eventually, I think I have to."

He nodded as he slowly sat up, shifting the plate onto the bed. I was still, afraid to breathe. Was he going to-

"You will, won't you?" Owen smiled over at me as he stood. Still, I watched, uncertain if I should put a stop to it…or if I even wanted him to.

Alas, Owen just went over to the stereo and changed the CD, quickly returning to the bed and me. I pushed myself up now, sitting cross-legged on the bed, him following suit.

"What are we going to do tonight?"

"Eat," I told him. "It's a school night. You'll need to get home and go to bed at some point."

"I'm in a bed right now. And I rather like it."

"Really now?"

"Mmmhmm. It's comfy."

"I don't think guys are allowed to say comfy."

"Bella," he said, the tone of his voice giving off that he meant it to come out as a scold. "I'm for equality. If a guy can do it, a girl can do it. If a woman can say it, a man can say it."

"Oh whatever."

"It's true. It's what I believe. I'm a male feminist."

Blinking, I decided to challenge him. "So you're saying a man and a woman are completely equal? In every regard?"

"Yes."

"Then if a guy hit you, and I mean really hit you, like was going to keep hitting you, what would you do?"

"I'd stop him."

"By hitting him."

"If that's what it took."

"Then if a woman hit you and wouldn't stop, would you hit her?"

"No," he said, clearly offended. "Of course not."

"Then that's sexist, given your standards."

He stared at me for a moment. "So what? You want me to hit a woman?"

"No."

"Then are we on the same side or-"

"I don't even know anymore."

We both smiled, me giggling slightly. Owen reached out then, cupping my cheek. Leaning into his hand, I sat my slice of pizza down as I watched him watching me.

"I love you."

"Yeah, Bear, I love you too."

"And I really thought that we could actually do some things tonight, but now we can't."

"Huh?"

He nodded behind me, out the glass wall. "Your mom's home."

Turning slightly, I saw that he was right, Mom just pulling up to the house.

"Great," I mumbled. Then, blinking, I said, "At least we got pizza though, right?"

"Right."


	2. Chapter 2

Comfort

Chapter 2

"I need a ride to school."

Dad frowned, looking up from his breakfast. "Hmmm?"

"Whitney has my car. I need a ride to school."

"Where's your boyfriend?"

I looked off for a moment. "Mallory…he's at the hospital. He called. He won't be going to school."

Dad frowned. "Is she-"

"She passed out last night at her aunt's house." I shook my head. "I asked if he needed me, but he told me that I should just go to school."

"Is she-"

"I dunno," I whispered, looking down now. After taking a deep breath, I looked back up at him. "So can you drop me off?"

"Of course, Annabel," he said, going back to his toast. He was standing at the table, apparently in such a rush he couldn't even sit down. "I'm leaving in ten though."

"Well, I'm ready now," I told him. "So, whenever you are-"

"Have you eaten?"

I shook my head. "I'm not…I can't eat."

Dad let out a soft sigh. "It'll get better, Annabel. I promise."

I just nodded slightly, not really wanting to think about it anymore. I turned and walked out of the kitchen, headed into the living room to get my shoes and backpack.

The day was going to be a long one, but I'm pretty sure they all are these days.

At school, I tried to pay attention as best I could, but I kept texting Owen. I couldn't help it. I was so worried about Mallory. Besides, it's my senior year. If I haven't learned it yet, I'm not going to.

It wasn't until lunch that I truly felt alone. There was no one to sit with, as Clarke no longer had my lunch. Besides her and Owen, I have no one.

"Annabel!"

Or so I thought.

"Hey, James," I said as I walked over to the 'stoner' table. I knew a few of the guys sitting around and the two girls enough to know that I didn't like any of them.

"Sit down, sit down," he said, shifting away from the girl that was practically in his lap, making room for me at the table. Hesitating, I glanced over at the wall. My options weren't good either way.

"This, guys," he began, slinging his arm around my shoulders when I took a seat next to him, "is the girl that saved me from failing algebra. I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for her."

"…No, I'm pretty sure you would," one guy, Kyle, said. He was pretty alright by my standards. In other words, he had never done anything too horrible and spent most of his time passed out at parties. Flipping his glossy black hair out of his eyes, he added, "You'd just still be taking Algebra II."

"He makes a good point," James told me, letting his arm fall. "I'm still forever indebted to you though." Then, suddenly, he looked around. "Where's the human eater?"

"What?"

"Your boyfriend." He kept looking around. "Is he-"

"He's not here today."

"Oh." James relaxed again. "Good."

"So anyways," one of the girls at the table, Lissa, said, frowning at me. She was kind of a dumpy girl, a little over weight and never seeming to be happy. I'm serious. I don't know how she even fits in with James and his friends. She seems more like she'd fit in with the gothic kids. "About the party tomorrow."

"What about it?" Kyle made a face at her as he opened a bag of Cheetos. "It's in the freaking Arbors. We're going."

"Well, I'm not," Terra, the girl who was sitting on the other side of James said. She kept leaning into him which just made him move closer to me. I was starting to think my lonely wall lunch wouldn't have been so bad.

She was clearly waiting for one of the guys to ask her where she was going to be or what she was doing instead, but none of them did. They just moved right along in the conversation.

"There's gonna be a keg," David offered up.

David Johnson. His parents knew my parents. His mother and my mother used to go out a lot together. I had never really cared for him though after the sixth grade, as he became kind of weird. Dark. He was though, hot. Which is why Sophie slept with him. A lot. But anyways…

"And? Beer's for pussies," James said as his he leaned even more into me, Terra not even rubbing against him now. I was at the end of the table though, so I had nowhere to go. "It's gonna be at Vinny Roger's place. His dad's, like, a freaking alcoholic. There's bound to be vodka or something there."

"Bound to be?"

The whole table looked at me, causing me to blush.

"Yeah," James said, elbowing me gently in the ribs. "There's bound to be. Why? You wanna go?"

"No, I was just-"

"I don't want to go," Terra told them all again rather loudly. Rolling my eyes, I sat my backpack on the ground next to me before fishing out my lunch.

"And yet still, no one cares." David raised an eyebrow at me. "You still bring your lunch, goldie?"

I glanced up at him. "You still wet your bed, Davy?"

"Hey," James said, wrapping his arm back around my shoulders. "You stay on that side of the table, David."

I shifted out of James' hold as my cell phone vibrated in my pocket.

_Thing's aren't going good. I want to see you. _

Frowning down at the text, I immediately typed up a reply.

_Still at school. Have to find a ride home._

It didn't take long for him to send me another text.

_Can come get you if you want._

That made me smile, even if it was a sad one.

_Stay with your sister._

_I don't want to stay with her. _

That one made me frown.

_Bear._

_I just want to see you. I miss you._

Looking up, I found that they had all launched into some debate over whether or not they really cared enough to ask Terra why she wasn't coming. I could tell it was bothering her that they were taunting her in this way from the way she was glaring at James.

"I dunno, guys," Kyle said slowly. "She's kind of annoying as fuck. I'm rather glad she's not going."

"That's your opinion," James argued. "I, however, know that if we get enough alcohol in her, there's a good chance she'll give us all blows."

David snorted. "She's not that good."

"Fuck you, David," Terra responded while the other girl, Lissa, just huffed, looking off.

"James," I whispered then to him, not really caring one way or another what they did on Friday. When he glanced at me, I said, "You said you were forever indebted to me, right?"

"Sorry, Annabel, I don't think I can get her to give you oral. No matter how drunk she gets."

I blinked, not realizing he was joking for a moment. Then, shaking my head, I said, "Do you have an eighth period?"

"Yes," he said. "Why?"

"Oh. I just needed a ride to-"

"You did not ask if I planned on going to it," he interrupted me. "Where do you need to go?"

"I don't know yet. I need to meet up with Owen."

"Ah. Well, that's a whole other story." He shook his head. "I am a man of few fears. Your boyfriend though? He makes me shit myself. I am not letting him see us driving around in my truck. Ever. I don't care if it's the only way to keep you from getting murdered. Call a cab; kick the guy in the balls. Just don't call me."

Blinking, I turned back to my phone. "Well-"

"You need a ride?" David was staring at me now, apparently done teasing Terra. "I don't have an eighth. Meet me at my car."

I shook my head. "That's okay. I can-"

"Oh what? You don't want to ride with me then?" He snorted, something he had always done a lot. Looking around the table, he said, "She's rigid, this one."

"Told you to stay on your side of the table, bud," James said, making a face at him. "I'll take you, Annabel. Be at my truck after seventh. Alright?"

I glanced between him and David, noting that their playful tones clearly had dark undertones. Terra, ever the vigilant one, just huffed.

"Well," she said, shaking her head. "I'm still not going to the party."

"Why, Terra? Huh?" Lissa finally looked at her. "Everyone shut the fuck up and let the little baby tell us all why the heck she can't go to the damn party."

Terra's green eyes flared as she glared over at the other girl. "I was just going to say that I have a concert to go to and have an extra ticket. If anyone wanted to go-"

"No one wants to go listen to your stupid, whiny, slit your wrist bullshit, Terra." Kyle finished his bag of Cheetos and moved on to his can of coke.

"I don't listen to that shit," she said, frowning at him. "Lissa does."

"Oh, go finger yourself."

Lucky me, my phone vibrated again. It was my father this time, asking if he had to pick me up from school or if my mother did.

"Can you really take me home?" I asked James then. "Please?"

"'course. I owe you, after all." He elbowed me gently again. "Annabel."

* * *

After seventh, James was waiting in his truck, like promised. He wasn't alone though.

"Get the fuck in the back, bro," he said, shoving Kyle out of his seat. "Let her sit up front."

"That's okay," I told him as Kyle rubbed his shoulder. "I'll just ride back here."

"Whatever," he said, heading out of the parking lot. "Where are we going?"

"Owen wanted to meet at World of Waffles. Do you know-"

"Yeah, I know where that is," he said, fiddling with his radio. It only took a moment for him to settle on a classic rock station. The second we were off campus, he and Kyle lit up.

"You smoke?" Kyle glanced back at me.

"No," I told him, shaking my head.

"Told you," James said. "Straight and narrow, she is."

"Ain't nothing wrong with a cigarette or two," he told me, glancing at me in the review. "You at least drink, right?"

"Sometimes," I said, feeling I owed it to them to be polite, considering they were giving me a ride. "Not a lot."

"I never see you and the big guy around," James told me. "At parties and stuff."

"That's probably 'cause you're usually passed out," Kyle told him. Looking back at me again, he said, "James is into the real shit. Like whiskey and shit."

"Mmmm."

"Not as bad David though," Kyle sighed as he turned back around, leaning back in his chair. "David's a freak."

"David needs to keep his fucking hands off Rachel."

"Dude, you can't even get with Rachel."

"And?"

I figured I had nothing else to lose as I asked, "Rachel who?"

"Browt." James glanced back at me this time. "She's a sophomore."

I made a face. "Oh."

"Hey, if it ain't illegal, it's okay."

"Not like she wants you anyways," Kyle told him. To me he said, "James let her sit with us last week, but she was only interested in David."

"Shut up, dude," James said, frowning at him. "She was not. She's plenty into me."

"Yeah and four months ago, she was a freshman. A fish!" Kyle blew smoke out the window. "And her boobs are small."

"Bet she's tight though."

"Mmmm. David said she-"

"Does it look like I care about what David says?"

"Guess not."

I shook my head before turning to look out the window. Most of my time these days were spent with Owen, who was hardly ever vulgar around me. I mean God, the man won't even let me see him naked. I couldn't even touch him until I asked. Hanging out with these guys was like a culture shock.

…Not that I was hating it.

"David's a prick. I fucking hate him. I don't even know who let him think he could hang out with us."

"He just started to when Nate got suspended."

"Yeah, well, I liked Nate a lot better."

"Terra likes David."

"Terra likes anything that will fuck her."

"Wish she'd fuck me," Kyle mumbled.

"It's okay, buddy." James reached over, rustle the other teen's hair. To me, he said, "Kyle's a virgin."

I blushed, really not wanting to know that. In the review, Kyle just nodded.

"It's a curse."

"It happens, bud." James pushed his head now. "Especially to guys with your condition."

"What's my condition?"

"You're kind of ugly."

"Oh."

Frowning, I figured I had better defend the guy. I mean gosh, his own friend was freaking insulting him.

"You're not ugly, Kyle," I told him. He really wasn't. He was a little chubby, but in an enduring way. "You're, like, cute or whatever."

"Yeah, or whatever."

Kyle shook his head. "It's okay, Annabel. I'll die a virgin."

"Oh, Kyle, you-"

"If you really feel bad, you could always, you know, help me-"

"Dude, have you met her boyfriend?" James turned up the stereo now. "He'll rip you apart for even speaking that way to her. And besides, I love this song. Shut the fuck up."

We rode in silence the rest of the way, James and Kyle both burning through two more cigarettes along the way. When we pulled up to World of Waffles, James and Kyle got out with me.

"Are we gonna eat?" Kyle smiled. "I am kinda hungry."

"Not with her and her monster of a boyfriend." James nodded towards the gas station portion of the restaurant. "We're going to get some sodas and chips. More cigs too. See you later, Annabel."

I smiled at him. "Thanks for the ride."

"Of course! I told you, I'm forever indebted to you." Then James glanced inside the building, spotting Owen already at a table next to a window. "By the way, I might need some help with some stuff this year too."

"Yeah. Whenever."

"Great." He smiled then before heading towards the gas station. "Come on, Kyle. Maybe you'll meet a prostitute in there, huh? Lose your virginity that way."

"I am up for anything," he agreed, following along behind.

Sighing, I headed into the building also.

"Hey, Bear."

He gave me a tired smile as I sat down at the table. "Hey. I've been thinking about you all day."

"Owen."

Laughing slightly, he said, "Mom sent me away to go eat lunch. I figured it'd be best if I came to eat with you."

"You haven't eaten lunch yet?"

"No. I was kind of busy."

"Sure," I said, nodding. "Is Mallory-"

"New friends?" Owen nodded out the window where James and Kyle were now back at the truck. "I could have picked you up."

"I know, Bear. James just thought it would be a good way of paying me back."

"When were you even with him?"

"Well…You're weren't at lunch."

"Annabel-"

"It wasn't just the two of us. I sat with him and his friends."

"Bella, I don't like you hanging out with a group of guys. Especially not Barrs and his dick friends."

"It wasn't just them, Owen. There were some girls there too."

He grunted as the waiter came to the table. It wouldn't be the end of the conversation though.

"I want you to make friends, Annabel," Owen told me gently after the waiter left. "I just want you to make…appropriate friends."

"What do you mean?" I asked, crinkling my nose.

"Barrs and them are all druggies. I don't want you hanging around guys like that."

"Owen-"

"I have a lot going on right now, alright? I don't need you getting dragged down with them on my plate also."

I knew that he was being a jerk and judgmental, but I also knew that he was partially right. James did have a record. A pretty extensive one. Not to mention, Owen had to deal with his sister currently. He couldn't waste time worrying about me.

When I didn't say anything to him, Owen just sighed slightly.

"I'm not being mean, Annabel. I'm protecting you." He stared right in my eyes. "You're my girlfriend. Would you let me hangout alone with a bunch of girls?"

"Yes."

"Annabel."

"Let's just…talk about something else." I stared back at him. "How's Mallory? For real, Owen?"

"Not good." He shook his head at me. "After this, I'm going back up there."

"Did you want me to-"

"Nah. I'll just take you back home. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure, Bear. It's whatever you want."

That made him finally give me a real smile, him reaching across the table to lay his hand on my hand. I knew part of the reason he was so happy was that the thought that he had diffused the whole James problem, but I wasn't so sure he had.

Why shouldn't I be able to pick my own friends?

* * *

"Here."

I frowned as Whitney came into my room, tossing the keys to my car onto the bed. "What are you doing here?"

"Dad called and said Owen can't take you to school anymore." She shrugged. "Mom's going to let me take her car."

"Why couldn't I have her car?"

"They don't trust your driving."

I made a face. "I drive just as well as you."

"You have your car, Annabel. Why are you still so offended?" With that, she turned to walk back out of the room. For a second though, she stopped. "She's really bad then, huh? Owen's sister?"

I swallowed as I looked back down at my laptop. "Yeah. They don't think she's going to…It's bad."

She let out a long breath. "Well."

That was all she said though, clearly not knowing what else to say. I was suffering from the same problem. I didn't want to keep bothering Owen, asking if he was okay or if he needed me, but I also didn't want to come off as apathetic by talking to him about something else.

"I don't know what to do for him," I admitted to her, not really having anyone else to go to. Mom was so depressed now that she wasn't an option. And Dad was, well, a guy. He would just tell me to keep being nice to Owen and that if it didn't work out, then hey, we're only in high school.

"Well," she began again, this time planning on continuing. "You could always make him something."

I frowned. "Like…a card? I don't think-"

"No, Annabel. Like food."

"He does like eating," I admitted.

"You could make him cookies or a cake or something. Desserts are always good."

"I'm not too good at baking."

She sighed. "I guess I could help you. If you wan-"

"Really?" I got out of bed. "Like today? Now? You're already here, in Lakeview?"

"Annabel-"

"Please, Whitney? When have I ever asked you for anything?"

I had a point and she knew it. "Fine, I guess. I mean-"

"Thank you!" I smiled at her. "Do we have stuff to make cookies or-"

"Let's go to the store," she suggested, turning around as I went to grab my shoes by my bed. "What kind does he- What are these?"

I frowned slightly as she went over to my dresser. "They were Owen's. He gave them to me."

"Goggles?" She picked them up.

"They were his grandpa's, back in the war or something."

"What did he expect you to do with them?"

I shrugged as her as I slipped my sneakers on. "He just likes giving me things."

She made a noise in the back of her throat before heading out of the room, me quickly following.

"Where are you girls headed?" Dad called out to us as we passed the living room.

"To the store," Whitney told him.

"Ah. Are you making my dinner tonight?"

She rolled her eyes at me before looking at him. "I didn't plan on it, Dad. I'm sure Mom has plans for dinner. She'll probably tell you when she gets home."

He just grunted in response to that, clearly annoyed. When he saw me looking at him though, he brightened slightly.

"I got her to bring your car back. Now you can drive to school. If you want. I can still take you if you-"

"Thank you," I told him. "I can drive."

"Of course," he said. "So…what are you going to the store for?"

"Whitney's helping me make Owen cookies. You know, 'cause of his sister and everything."

"That's nice of you guys," he said evenly. "So, Whitney, you think you could make me some too?"

She shook her head as she finally headed out the door. I smiled at our father one last time before following her.

* * *

"I'm glad you're home. I was afraid I'd get here and you wouldn't be here."

Owen just stood there with the door open, staring at me for a moment. Then he seemed to realize this could come off as rude and took a step to the side, allowing me entrance.

"What do you got?" He closed the door behind me. "Bella?"

"What? Am I not enough?"

"You are," he assured me. "But what do you got?"

"A plate of cookies," I told him as I went into the kitchen to set them down. Removing the plastic from them, I said, "Half are chocolate chip and the other half are butter scotch. Your favorites."

He pulled me back against his chest, kissing my head. "I love you."

"I love you too, Bear."

"You make these?"

"With the help of Whitney."

"Mmmm." He kept holding me. "Mom sent me home. She told me I should take a shower and stuff."

"Oh. Are you going to school tomorrow?"

"Nah." He rubbed my stomach now. "You gonna be able to get a ride?"

"That's why Whitney was over. She brought my car back home."

"Oh." He let me go then, moving to grab a cookie. "You thirsty or something? Are you staying?"

"Can I? Just for awhile?"

"'course," he said, finally just picking up the platter of cookies and heading off towards his room. "Come on."

Following him down the hallway, I asked, "Is Mallory any-"

"Let's just…not talk about that, huh? And no." He sat down on his bed. "Come here."

After closing the door behind me, I headed over to him. "I'm sor-"

"Here." He shoved a cookie into my mouth. "Bella."

I figured he didn't want to think about his sister at the moment, which was fine. I was just as awkward listening to it as he was talking about it.

"These are good," he told me, his already on stereo playing softly in the background. "Thank you."

"Of course, Bear," I said, smiling shyly as he reached out to stroke my cheek. We were sitting cross-legged on his bed, our knees touching, the plate in the small area between us. "I thought you'd want something to make you feel better."

"You're all I want," he told me, moving to eat another cookie. "Forever."

I looked off then as he reached out once more, pushing hair out of my face. "I missed you today at school."

"You saw me after."

"It wasn't the same."

He took one more cookie before setting the plate on the ground. Then he leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine. I smiled into the kiss, glad that we were finally able to be together.

"What are you doing?" he whispered a few minutes alter as I pulled away. "Bella?"

I continued to pull my shirt over my head. Then, as I reached behind my back to unsnap my bra, I said, "I want to make you feel better."

He just watched me, too entranced to stop me or urge me. He just sat there, his legs now out as I sat in his lap, staring at my red face as I blushed profusely. When my bra finally fell down my arms, I had to look off, not wanting look at his eyes. This had probably been a fantasy of his, long before he even knew me. You know, seeing boobs. Mine weren't that special, to me at least, but they were something. They were real. He was really seeing them.

"Bella," he finally whispered as I sat my bra to the side. He wasn't looking at me, not really. Just my breasts. It was making me rather self-conscious. "I just…"

He reached out then and I finally looked at him. He didn't, like, touch me though. He just brought his hand up to rest it on my side.

"I love-"

I cut him off with a kiss, leaning against him now. My breasts felt odd against the rough fabric of his shirt, but I just pushed into him. This wasn't for me. I was doing this for him. All of it.

"Hey," he said suddenly as I once again broke off our kiss, this time moving down to unzip his jeans. "Annabel-"

"I want to make you happy, Owen," I glanced up at him, but he just shook his head as he reached down too, though it was just to grab my wrist. Pulling my hand up, he rested it on his chest.

Looking me straight in the eyes, he said, "_You_ make me happy."

"Bear…"

"You do." He looked back down at my breasts. "This? This makes me, like, horny. Horny happy."

"Yeah, I can feel."

"You though? You make me really happy." He sat up some more, moving to rest his head against mine. "I don't want this to be about me, Annabel. I mean, yeah, I want to sleep with you. I just don't want it to be because of…Mallory."

I pressed that hand into his chest now, pushing him back again. "Don't you like me though?"

"I love you."

"I mean me." I raised an eye brow before puffing my chest out. I had never been big, ever, but I knew Owen had never really see any other woman. Porn, sure, but not a real woman.

"Oh. Oh." He looked off for a moment before back into my eyes. "Can I…touch?"

I just giggled as I leaned down to kiss him. Against his lips, I whispered, "I love you, Snoogie."

"Yeah, I know."

* * *

The next day was supposed to be horrible. I know it was. It was a Friday of which I knew I would spend alone. I would talk to no one and I would have no one. It was meant to be lonely.

Even so, I couldn't stop smiling. I just couldn't. Last night was amazing. And it wasn't supposed to be. Mallory was dying. Not in the way that we all are, waiting for our time to run out, but in the real way. She was _dying_. Pretty soon, it will be over.

So why was I so happy?

"Ah. So he didn't eat and murder you."

I frowned as I walked out of the building, an arm getting draped over my shoulders. "Go away, James."

"Nah-ah. You're sitting with us today," Kyle was as he fell in step on my other side. "You're are our friend now. Right?"

I frowned at him before shifting out of James' hold. "Well-"

"Great!" James knocked elbows with me. "But, uh, your boyfriend ain't around, is he?"

"He's not here today either."

"Perfect," James said as he led us over to an empty table. When I sat down next to him, Kyle immediately sat down on the other side. Great. I was trapped in.

"Oh. You're sitting here again." Terra made a face as she sat on the other side of the table. "Well then."

"Hey, this is my girl now," James said. "My best friend."

"Oh, come off it."

"It's true! So long as Armstrong ain't around."

I made a face at him before pulling my lunch out of my backpack.

"Hey," Kyle said slowly in that slow drawl he has. "Can I have those?"

"These?" I gave him the baggie of cookies. "Sure."

"Did you make them?" he asked as he opened the baggie. "Thank you."

"Mmmhmm."

"Here." He gave me his bag of Cheetos, the only thing I ever saw him eat really. "A trade."

"She's not letting you get it in, buddy," James told him from my other side as he started eating his school pizza. "Terra though, I mean, do your legs ever close?"

She gave him a look. "You're a fucking prick, you know that?"

He didn't say anything though as David and some other guy came to sit down.

"Where's Lissa?" Terra asked, frowning.

"Who cares?" David snorted.

"Probably blowing some guy," James sneered as he acknowledged the other guy. "What happened to sitting with your chick?"

The guy shrugged slightly. "Don't know."

"They broke up," David said, staring at me. "What's up with you sitting with yours?"

"She is my savior, I'll have you know."

David just leaned against the table, his tattoo on his upper arm showing. It was just tribal, the guy equivalent of a flower. He thought it made him a badass though.

Snorting, David looked at Kyle. "What are you eating?"

"Cookies. Annabel traded me," he said. "They're good."

"Let me have one."

"No!" Kyle frowned over at him. "This is our side of the table. Huh, James?"

"Yeah. You stay over there."

That got another snort as David turned his stare onto the guy I didn't know. "What time are we leaving tonight?"

"The party's, like, down the block from you," he said. "You can walk."

"Fuck that. Pick me up."

"Drive yourself."

"You know that my parents took away my car."

James snickered before saying to me, "David's a pussy. Still listens to his mommy and daddy."

"Shut the fuck up, Barrs before I fucking gut your skinny ass." Snort. "Wouldn't be hard, how skinny you are. I can see your freaking bones when you take a deep breath. Carve it right up."

"Shut up, alright?" Terra elbowed him. "God."

"You ever smelled blood, James? In large quantities? Ain't nothing like it."

"Shut the fuck up. You always try to act like your so hard." James shook his head. "You live in the damn Arbors. Probably have a maid to wipe your ass."

"Why don't you come say that to my face?"

"What? You can stand up without a butler here to help you?"

"Stop it." I put a hand on James' arm. "I mean it."

That got a snort too, of course.

"So what? She your little bodyguard now?" David looked around. "Where is that freak? Huh? Your boyfriend, Annabel? Bet he'd love this."

"Why don't you fuck off, David?" James kept glaring at him. "Huh?"

"Yeah? Why doesn't she? Who wants her to sit here anyways?"

"Can say the same to you!"

"Fuck you guys. Come on, Terra."

She and the other guy got up, quickly following after him. I sat there silently for a moment before speaking.

"I'm sorry, James. I didn't mean to-"

"David's a dick. He's not even my friend, really."

Kyle nodded, mouth full of cookies. When he swallowed, he said, "Now that we're friends though, you can hook me up with some of your friends, right? Now that we've chosen you over him? David only knows girls he's slept with. They're all freaks."

I shook my head slightly. "Yeah, Kyle, whatever."

"Great." He smiled. 'You can go to the party with us. Introduce me there, huh? Party's are great places for hooking up."

"I don't-"

"It's right near your house, right?" James was eating his food again, not even looking phased by his fight with the other teen. "We'll pick you up on the way."

"But-"

"And if you don't want to ride back home with us because you think we're drunk or high or whatever, you can just walk home. It ain't that far." James turned slightly to smile at me now. "Your boyfriend can come too, if you want."

"He's busy."

"Then see? Now you don't have to spend your Friday night alone."

"Yeah," Kyle agreed with him. "You can spend it getting me laid."

"I don't-"

"Have some fun some time, Annabel," James told me. "It'll do you good."

* * *

"Bella, now's really not a good-"

"I'm going out tonight and I just wanted you to know."

Owen paused. "What?"

"To a party. I'm going to a party."

"…Uh, no?"

"Bear-"

"With who? Who do you think that you're going to a party with?"

"Well-"

"Now, Annabel. I'm busy. Who is it?"

"James and Kyle."

He paused. "Barrs. You think that you're going to a party with Barrs. Right. Okay. Ha ha, you made me laugh, Bella. Now I have to go."

"So do I. Kyle and him are picking me up at-"

"No, Annabel. You're not going with them."

"Yeah, Bear, I am." I swallowed slightly. I was sitting in my bedroom like I had been for the past half hour, debating whether or not I should tell Owen about the party. I figured if I didn't, he would consider that lying. Still, I knew if I did, this would happen. There was no right choice in this.

Other than, like, not going. That's not a fair option though.

"No, you're not. If you do-"

"Bear, I spent the whole day alone."

He huffed. "If I could be with you, Annabel, I would. Right now though-"

"I'm not asking you to leave your sister there, Bear. I'm just telling you that I'm going out. Most people go out with their friends on Friday nights."

"I told you, Annabel. They are _not_ your friends. I'm your friend."

"You sound possessive again."

"And? You're my girlfriend. No one else's."

I let out a long sigh. "How is Mallory doing?"

"You are not going to just change the subject, Annabel."

"Owen-"

"If you go out with them tonight-"

"If I do go out, what? You'll break up with me?"

"No," he hissed. "I will be angry with you though."

Groaning, I said, "Owen, the last thing I want to do right now is cause you problems, but…I like hanging out with Kyle and James. They're very kind to me."

"They're drug addicts."

"That is a total overstatement."

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I don't care."

"I'm bored, Owen, without you. I love you, but it's not fair of you to think I should just be locked away in a castle until you're ready to pay attention to me."

"Are you serious right now? Pay attention to you? What do you call last night?"

I closed my eyes, knowing that he was going through Hell right now. Maybe calling him wasn't such a good idea…

Owen let out a long breath when I didn't respond. "I'm sorry, okay? I love you."

"Where are you?"

"I just had to get away for awhile, you know? Mallory isn't even awake."

"Where, Bear?"

"Just in my car."

"I'm sorry I called. I just-"

"I'm sorry I seem possessive to you."

"It's okay," I gave in. "You just care is all and don't know how to properly express it."

"…I still don't want you to go."

"I'll text you the whole time."

"I still don't want you to go," he repeated. "At all."

"I know."

"But…I have to get back up to my sister."

"I'm not trying to take you from her, Bear."

"I know. I just wish that I could, like, have you both, you know?"

"I know."

He et out a long sigh. "You can go, Annabel, but you better remember that I don't take well to guys being all over you."

"Owen."

"I don't. At all. I'll let this happen though, just this once." Then he paused. "And if I even so much as find out that Barrs looked at you in the wrong way-"

"I'll be fine, Owen. I'll text you, huh?"

"I just know how you are about parties. I'm here, Bell. I can't come get you."

"It's in the Arbors. I'm right down the street from my house."

He let out a long breath. "Don't get too drunk or whatever."

"I won't."

"And if anyone does or says anything, I swear-"

"Bye, Bear."

"I love you," he said before hanging up.

Sighing, I stood up and went over to my dresser. On it sat a chain with Owen's class ring and his _Or Not_ one. He liked me to be wearing it at all times. I figured if I couldn't make him happy by staying home and being lonely, I could at least wear his rings.

"I'm going to a party," I announced to my parents ten minutes later when I found the two of them in the kitchen.

Mom, who was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee, frowned at me. "What?"

"I'm going to a party tonight," I repeated.

"I thought Owen was at the hospital with his sister?" Dad asked, still not turning around from the open fridge he was raiding.

"He is. I'm just going out."

"With?"

"Dad-"

"With who, Annabel?"

"James. That guy that I tutored in-"

"Annabel," my mother scolded. "Owen is going through a lot right now. If you want to date this…James, then you need to-"

"Mom, I told Owen. He said fine."

"Owen said that," Dad repeated dryly. "Big, tall, and always angry about something said that? Hn."

"He did! He told me that the just wanted me to text him a lot or call him or whatever. He doesn't want me to spend the whole weekend alone while he's with Mallory."

"Annabel, it's your life and your relationship," Mom said, looking back down at her magazine. "Owen's just so nice that I don't think you should-"

"I'm not doing anything to him. Owen knows, alright?"

"We're just teasing," Dad told me as he finally pulled out a bowl of pudding from the fridge. "Is this still good, Grace?"

"When did we make it?"

"I have no idea."

"Taste it, Andrew. How should I know?"

I sighed as I got my father a bowl for his pudding. "So can I go?"

"Sure," Dad said. "You better be home on time."

"Two?"

I got a look over his shoulder. "One. Not 1:20, not 1:10, and not 1:01. If you can't make it in the door exactly at one, you had better come in early, huh?"

"Thanks, Dad," I said, hugging him from the side before rushing out of the room. "See you guys in the morning."

"I'll be up, Annabel," he told me. "Waiting. You had better get home on time."

"Of course."

I ended up outside not soon after that. I didn't want James to come up to the door because then it really would seem like a date. My parents might have been ribbing me, but I still didn't want to give them any reason to think that was true.

"You don't have to get out, Kyle," I told him as they pulled up, the gangly teen immediately getting into the back seat.

"James told me that I had to," he said, shrugging slightly as he got back there. I sighed before getting into the passenger seat, not even being phased by the blasting screamo music. I mean, come on. Owen's my boyfriend. This? This is at least normal.

"Hey, Annabel," he yelled at me over the music. Then he took in what I was wearing. "You look nice."

"Thanks," I said, glancing down also at my hoodie and loose jeans. I didn't look nice. I had made sure not to. I didn't want Owen angrier with me than he had to be.

Nodding, he glanced back at Kyle. "Ready to go get fucked up, buddy?"

Kyle just nodded as he laid across the back seat. "Yeah. And I'd like to just fuck before. Annabel'll help with that. Huh?"

I ignored him though, leaning against the window. James just laughed as he pulled away from my house.

Party ho.

* * *

The party went about how I thought it would. I had yet to be to a party without Owen since that one two summers ago. And the parties we had gone to together I could count on one hand. I didn't like it really, more fearful than I thought I would be. James disappeared not soon after we arrived, Kyle sticking around me for ten minutes. Then he too went off, going over to a group of guys in the back yard that were smoking something. I left him to it, not even wanting to be involved in that.

_Are you there yet?_

I took a seat on the porch steps, feeling safer outside than in. There were a bunch of people on the porch too, so that made it okay also. Not to mention I was texting Owen.

_Yes._

_Are you okay?_

_Yes, Bear._

_Are you with Barrs?_

_No. He went off somewhere._

_Who are you with?_

_No one._

_So you're alone._

I frowned down at the text.

_No._

_You could have stayed home for this, Bella. Home where it's safe._

_Shut up._

_Mal's awake. Gotta go._

_Love u._

_Love you too._

Sighing, I slipped my phone back into my pocket and took a look around. The porch had mostly cleared out now, but there were still some people out there, drinking from no doubt spiked red cups.

"Hey."

I smiled as Kyle came to sit next to me. "Hey."

I was slightly worried that he was expecting me to introduce him around now, but he just moved to lay down on the porch next to me, resting his head in my lap. Making a bemused face, I stared down at him, but he just stared up at me, breathing softly. I could smell something sweet on his breath, the scent of whatever he was smoking still very prevalent.

"You're pretty," he mumbled to me, snuggling back against me. "Annabel."

I was frozen for a moment or two before smiling slightly. He was just like a little boy. A very, very stoned little boy that had nice smelling breath as a memento, but still just a little boy.

"Thank you."

He nodded slightly, letting out a long breath before closing his eyes.

We sat there on the porch for awhile, me waiting patiently for Owen to start texting me again. Not only did I just want to talk to him, but I also wanted to know what was going on with his sister. I might not be as invested in her as a family member, but I did care about Mallory.

"-the fuck out of here!"

I glanced behind me as suddenly some guy started yelling, pushing another out of the house. I had to jump up to get out of the way as the guy being pushed tripped and fell down the stairs. Kyle wasn't so lucky though, getting hurt in the process.

"Ow," he mumbled, rubbing his head as he sat up. Looking around, he saw me and smiled, whatever he had taken slowing his reactions. "Ow."

It was James who had been pushed down the stairs, now laying back on the ground, staring up at the guy who had pushed him. His eyes were red and he was wet. From the smell of him, someone had poured beer on him.

"You stay the hell away from my girlfriend, Barrs," the guy who had pushed him growled. He wasn't a senior and I had never seen him before. Jackson was such a big school though that that wasn't shocking. "You stupid pussy."

James tried to jump up at that, but he couldn't. Someone that had been out in the front yard smoking a cigarette came over to help James up. The second he was on his feet, he tried to rush at the guy that had shoved him, but I pushed him back, my hand pressed against his chest forcefully.

"Stop it," I hissed at him. "What the heck are you doing?"

He didn't say anything to me though as he suddenly turned on his heel, heading off. Kyle yawned as he stood up and followed him. Really, I wanted nothing to do with him at the moment, but then I decided I had better go make sure they were okay.

"James," I complained as we made it to his truck a little bit further down the street, Kyle faithfully following as he continued to yawn randomly. "Can you even drive?"

He grunted as he climbed into the driver's seat. Kyle tried to open the backseat door, but I ended up having to do it for him. I got a thankful pat on the shoulder for that before he collapsed on the seats back there, letting out a content sigh.

"Is this how all you guys' parties end?" I asked James, opening the passenger side door, but not getting in. "James?"

"Come on, Annabel. Let's get the fuck out of here," he said finally, glancing back at Kyle. "Hungry, buddy?"

"Pizza," Kyle mumbled against the seat cushions.

"Sounds good." He looked to me. "Come on."

"No. You're freaking high."

"Hardly."

I shook my head, moving back away from the car. "I'll just walk."

"Annabel-"

"Bye, James." I looked back at Kyle. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Pizza."

"It's coming, buddy," James said, shaking his head at me. "Whatever. Walk. Like I give a fuck."

I closed his truck door before heading back up to the party. I figured I could at least get a coke or something before heading back home. It wasn't a far walk, but it would be a long one, knowing that even coming out had been worthless. I wasn't even sure why I thought it would be any different.

"Annabel!"

I froze as arms were wrapped around me. I was in the kitchen at this point, looking for a can of coke. Then I realized who it was.

"Knock it off, Rolly," I said, pushing him away from me. "God."

He was drunk and it was obvious, but he was always drunk at concerts and parties. He was a fun drunk.

"What're ya doing here?" He leaned back against the counter, red cup in hand. "Where's big boy?"

"Owen's at the hospital with Mallory," I told him as I finally found a case of sealed cokes. I refused to ever drink stuff that's just lying around. I trust no one. "Where's Clarke?"

"Bah! I don't need 'er. Ever." He shook his long hair. It was usually pulled back in a ponytail, but not today. I rarely ever saw it down. "Annabel."

"Hmmm?" The only other person in the kitchen was some guy that was busy popping the tab on a beer.

"I, uh, I…You're my friend, you know?"

"I know."

"One of my best."

"Mmmhmm."

"Rolly 'n' Annabel. Mmmm." He shook his head again. "Mmmm."

"Well, I'm going home, Rolly," I told him, taking a sip of my coke. "Don't get too wasted, huh?"

"Mmmm."

I patted his knee before heading out, no one else stopping me on the way. It was when I was walking back towards my house though that my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Are you still at the party?"

"Heading home," I told my boyfriend, continuing down the dark street.

"Already?"

"Yeah, well, I'm not much of a party person these days."

"They play shitty music?"

"I have no idea."

"I bet they did."

"Mmmm." I smiled slightly. "How's Mallory?"

"Alright," he said evenly, giving nothing away. "Awake."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

"…Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Dunno. Probably not."

"Oh."

"Sunday though, I will be doing the show."

"Owen, if you want me to do it-"

"I'm doing it."

I sighed slightly. "Alright."

"Are you prepped for all your shows this week?"

"Bear," I complained, the sneer in his voice quite obvious.

"What?"

"Don't take digs. Resentment leads to contempt which leads to breaking up."

"…You just used two words that I have no idea what mean."

"What else is new?"


	3. Chapter 3

Comfort

Chapter 3

"Owen, are you in here? I need- Who are you?"

There I was, napping in my boyfriend's bed, when this voice hit my ears. This unfamiliar, _feminine_, voice. Pushing myself up slightly, I turned to find this blonde woman, probably in her late twenties, standing in Owen's bedroom.

"Who are you?" I repeated back to her, my heart beating quickly. She had scared me, after all, dragging me out of sleep in such a way.

"Considering you're in my sister's house, I think that you're the one that needs to be answering to me." She crossed her arms, staring hard at me. Then she relaxed some. "Oh. The girlfriend. Right."

"What?"

"You just look a lot different in person," the woman said, shaking her head at me. "Where's-"

"Annabel, did you turn off my stere- Cam." Owen came into the bedroom in only shorts, having just gotten out of the shower. When I came over, he was about to get in it, but he let me stay, telling me that I should just take a nap in his bed. Apparently that wasn't even a good idea. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to bring you dinner." She turned to look at him now. "What is she doing here?"

"Sleeping," Owen told her, glancing at me before shrugging. "I just got off work and went to take a shower."

"I sure didn't hear the shower running."

"You probably got here when I got out. I don't know. What the heck else would I be doing?" He stepped around her and went over to his closet. "Bell, are we going-"

"I wonder how your mom will react," the woman, Cam, said as he pulled a shirt on.

"To what?"

"There being a girl in your bed."

"I was in the freaking shower. It's not like she was in there with me," he grumbled, turning to look at her. "Can you, like, leave? I have zero desire to be around you right now."

"Don't show out in front of your girlfriend, Owen." With that, she headed out of the room.

"I don't like her," I told Owen the second I knew she was gone.

"Yeah, welcome to the club." He smiled at me slightly. "I have to go talk to her now though. Are you-"

"I'm fine," I said, laying back down. "Just hurry, huh?"

"'course."

After he was gone, I cuddled back into the bed, trying to fall back asleep. It was hard though and I was still awake when Owen came back into the room carrying a bag of fast food.

"Now we don't have to go out," he told me simply, closing his bedroom door behind him. "She's gone by the way."

"Are you going to get in trouble?" I asked, sitting up so that he could sit down net to me. "For having me over?"

"Doubt it. She just liked bothering you, I think," Owen said as he sat. "Besides, we weren't doing anything. Yet, anyways."

"What'd she buy you?" I asked, shifting into a comfortable spot next to him. "Bear?"

"Burritos." He smiled at me. "There's enough for us to share."

"I only want one," I said as he pulled a few out. "Why did she buy you so many?"

He patted his stomach. "You know, 'cause I like to eat so many."

"You do," I agreed. "…Why doesn't she like me?"

"Hmmm?"

"I've never even met her, but she acted like she didn't like me."

"She doesn't know you."

"That's my point."

"Cam's like that with everyone," Owen assured me. "I think it just shocked her, that you were here. She always hears about you, but never sees you."

"She called me 'the girlfriend.'"

"Really?"

"Yes."

He snorted. "She's annoying sometimes."

"I came off as a slut," I told him. "A big slut."

"How?"

"I was, like, in your bed the first time she saw me. That makes me a slut."

"Hmmm. Owen's slut. I like it."

That got him a playful hit to the chest. "Shut up."

"I'm wounded." He waved a few hot sauce packets at me, but I just shook my head. "Suit yourself."

"I don't like spicy things," I told him as he loaded one of his burritos with sauce.

"I like hot things." He elbowed me before getting up to mess with his stereo. While he was up, I moved down to the floor so that we didn't have to be squished up on the bed. Owen smiled when he saw this, grabbing his food off the bed before getting down there with me.

"How come you like the floor so much?" he asked me.

"It's roomier, you know."

He shook his head, getting into his eating instead of paying attention to me. That was fine though, as I just took to leaning against him, not even really hungry for my burrito.

It was Friday now and Owen had insisted that we do something. Mallory was still in the hospital and I really thought that he should be there, but he wanted to be with me. Or so he said. I was afraid of infringing on his family time, but he really wanted to make this good for me, this mock date night. I was suffering through it and he was pretending to be happy about it, but we were both thinking about other things and it was obvious.

"Can you get that?" Owen asked me as his phone vibrated over on his desk. He was hunched over his food, focusing most of his attention on that now. "Please?"

"Yeah," I sighed, pushing myself up to do as asked. When I got to it, I told him, "It was your mom."

"What's it say?"

"She wants to know if you remembered to take the trash out and feed the cat."

"Say yes to the trash, tell her I think that pound picked up the cat or something, 'cause I haven't seen it hanging around outside recently."

"Owen," I complained. "What if they, like, put it down or something?"

He shrugged. "It was just a stray."

"You're, like, the worst owner ever."

"Never signed on for the responsibility, babe. Just fed it."

"Did you just call me babe?"

"Meh."

I sat down next to him once more, bringing his phone with me. After texting his mother, I told him, "Hey, you know your father sent you a text you never read. It was, like, two hours ago."

He just grunted, still eating.

"You want me to check it?"

That got another grunt, which I took as a yes.

"He says that he's coming down next week for-"

"What?" Owen was suddenly animated, snatching the phone from me. "Really?"

I frowned slightly. "Well, that was rude."

He just reached over blindly with one hand and laid it on my thigh, as if in a comforting way. Still, he just sat there reading the text.

"I can't believe he's really coming."

"His daughter is in the hospital, Bear."

Owen ignored me as he began to text. "I better warn Mom. She's not going to like this."

"Why would she think he wouldn't come down here? No doubt he'd want to see her."

My thigh got a squeeze though he still didn't say anything more to me. After a few minutes, Owen's phone rang and he got up, leaving me alone in his room. His mother had probably called.

Scooting away from the food, I moved to grab my own phone off his bedside table. While getting it, curiosity got the better of me and I opened one of the drawers in it. The top one had a few CDs, some pencils, rubber bands, and a pack of gum. Boring. It was when I opened the bottom drawer that things got more interesting.

"What's the Vaseline for?"

Owen frowned as he came back into his room. "Wh- Hey! Why are you going through my stuff?"

"Looking for a tissue," I offered up as an easy lie. Along with the Vaseline down there I found those pictures I had given him and a few more CDs. God, he keeps CDs everywhere. "Why do you got Vaseline?"

"…Annabel…"

"What? Do…Oh God, really?" I dropped the container on the ground, making a face over at him. "God."

"You're the one going through my stuff," he pointed out as he sat down next to me. "So God you."

"What do you use it for?"

"You know, for…"

"But why?"

He glanced at me. "You're just supposed to use…something, Annabel. Or else it's, like…I don't. Friction or whatever."

"Friction?" I made a face at him. "How freaking hard are you jacking off?"

"Can we not talk about something else now?"

"Why don't you buy something else?" I asked him. "Like lube?"

I just got a look for that. "I don't even know where to fucking buy that."

"Gee, try a store?"

"Annabel-"

"So what do you do then? Huh? Just…rub it on your hand and then-"

"I'm eating."

I sat there, watching him now as he finished his burritos. While sitting there though, I popped the lid off the Vaseline.

"What do people normally use this stuff for anyways?"

"I figured you'd know."

"Nope." I frowned down into the container before looking at him. "I really don't think you should use this though."

"A lot of guys do."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Or, like, lotion or something."

"It just seems…messy. And weird." I scooted closer to him. "Do guys really use this?"

"Well, yeah. I do. I don't, like, take polls or anything." He was clearly uncomfortable with this topic. "Uh, can we kind of-"

"Come here."

"What are you doing?" He was done eating now, frowning as I came even closer. "Annabel-"

"Does it hurt then, Bear? When I normally touch you? 'cause I don't, like, slick my hand up with anything."

"Would you shut up?"

"Why don't we try it this way, huh?"

He was watching me now as I reached out to touch the crotch of his jeans. "With the, uh, Vaseline?"

"Mmmhmm."

"You wanna-"

"Yes, Bear."

"Oh." He settled out then, glancing at me. "Oh."

I reached into the container, feeling the gel. "It's so…weird feeling."

He just leaned his head back, shifting on the floor as I unzipped his pants. "Bella…"

"Can I…see you?"

That made him glance at me, but it was very briefly.

"Yeah," he mumbled, laying his head back again as he shut his eyes. "You can."

* * *

I could hear Owen roaming around his bedroom, but I refused to open my eyes. After what happened, I went back to bed, all snuggled up in his sheets and blanket. Owen went off to get himself a drink, but I think part of it was that he was embarrassed slightly over me finally getting to look at him.

"Bear," I mumbled against his pillow. "Is it eleven yet?"

"Told you, babe, I'd make sure to get you home on time."

"Mmmm."

I felt the bed dip as he sat down on the edge. Not soon after his hand found its way onto my back, which he began to stroke gently. He had been rather touchy recently, but I was learning to get used to it.

"Bella…"

"Mmmm?"

"I love you."

"Mmmm."

"I'm sorry I can't see you tomorrow. I have to go be with Mal though."

"Mmmm."

He kept stroking my back. "You sleepy or something?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Poor Bell. You want me to leave you alone?"

I groaned. "I want you to lay down with me."

I had to shift onto my side then, to accommodate him. Owen just wrapped me up in his arms, giving my forehead a kiss. Moaning softly, I cuddled into his chest, keeping my eyes shut.

"Next date, we're going out somewhere," I told him. "You know that?"

"Where?"

"Somewhere."

"You wanna go do something right-"

"No," I told him, running a hand down his chest. "I wanna stay here and snuggle."

"Oh." Owen shifted on the bed slightly so that he was taller than me, his head covering my own. "That's fine."

"Mmmm."

"You do that a lot."

"Hmmm?"

"Just make noises instead of words."

"You do it too."

"Do I?"

"Mmmhmm."

Rubbing his chin into my forehead, he asked, "What are you going to do tomorrow? All alone?"

"I'll be well rested."

"Yeah."

"I kind of have plans anyways though."

"With?"

"James is coming over to study."

Owen was still for a moment. "This again?"

"Yes, Owen. This again."

He let out a long breath. "Why can't you just sit at home alone and do nothing, missing me the whole time?"

"Owen, you're going to have to get used to me having guy friends. What? Do you think I'm going to an all women's college?"

"…Are those real? Like colleges only for women?"

"Well, yeah."

"And, like, you could go there?"

"Owen."

"What?"

I finally opened my eyes, but it was still dark from the fact I was pressed against his dark shirt. "You really get to me sometimes."

"Yeah, I know."

"Do you think I really would cheat on you?"

"No. I don't know. I hope not, but I've really got no one to compare you to. I've never had another girlfriend. Maybe you are a cheater and I just don't know."

I thought that he was joking at first, but when I glanced up at him, I realized he was being completely honest. What was I expecting though? This was Mr. Honesty after all.

"I'd like to think you know my character enough though, Owen," I told him, picking my words carefully. "And I've never cheated on a boyfriend. Ever."

"Still."

"Still what?"

"I just… It's not like we're on the same level here, Annabel."

"Level?"

"Of, like, hotness or whatever."

"Oh, Bear-"

"I'm being honest. You're, like, was above the hot scale when compared to me. I mean, I'm not on the bottom of the scale by no means, but I'm hardly above average."

"Giving yourself a little too much credit there, Bear."

"Annabel."

"I'm kidding." I moved back away from him slightly, though that just caused me to be pressed against the wall. When I could finally see him full on, I smiled, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "I've been with guys that were cute, Owen. Guys that were hot. Guys that looked good. And you know why I was with them? Because they were cute, or hot, or good looking. You though, I didn't plan to be with you. I just…the more time we spent together, the more I wanted to be with you. That means more, doesn't it? Huh?"

He just stared at me with his green eyes, watching my blue ones intently. "This might sound girly."

I shrugged. "Tell me. What? Who would I tell? It's just us here."

"Why did you…When did you first like me?"

I considered this for a minute, looking away from him as I thought. "I don't know. It was slow building. If I had to guess though, you first interested me when you gave me that ride home that day."

"Interested you?"

"Yeah. When I heard those Mayan chants, I just got…I don't know, intrigued, I guess."

"Intrigue," he told me, "is not the same thing as like."

"It's not," I agreed. "I'm just having a hard time thinking of a single moment when I first liked you."

"Then let's work backwards, huh?"

"Why does it matter when I-"

"Did you like me at the fountain? After the trial?"

"Well, yeah. Duh."

"Okay," he said, nodding. "What about when you came to the station? To tell me about Cash? Did you like me then?"

"I was scared of you, but yeah, I did like you."

"Did you like me at Bendo? When you walked out on me?"

That was why I walked out. Still, I blushed, looking off, the memory not a good one. "Yes."

"What about at the car wash? When we made out? Did you then?"

"Yeah."

"At Mallory's party? When we almost kissed there?"

Twice.

"Yes," I told him, about done with this.

"How about earlier that day? When we went to World of Waffles?"

"So you remember all this, but you can't remember formulas for school?"

"Answer the question."

"I guess, Owen. I thought…"

"You thought?"

"The first thing I thought when you invited me out there was that it was a date."

He just stared at me. "Oh."

"Yeah. Then you brought Rolly, so I figured you…I don't know."

"Did you like me though?"

"I was toying with the idea."

"So it was between then and Mallory's party that you liked me. There, mystery solved."

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

I gave him a look. "When did you first like me?"

"I wanted to, like, screw you the first time I saw you so-"

"Owen," I warned, not amused.

"I did. I thought you were hot."

"You never even looked at me."

"Did too. It was right after school started. You were sitting on the wall and I just glanced at you. I remember, 'cause that night, when I got home, I watched some porn and saw a chick that kinda looked like you.'

I blinked. Then I blinked again. "There's something called honesty. Then there's something called insanity."

He shrugged. "The first time I liked you though, outside of the wanting to bone you stuff, was way before Mallory's party."

"I figured."

"What do you mean?"

My hand was still on his cheek and I finally removed it, my wrist getting tired. "When you gave me your jacket at World of Waffles and I accidentally took it home, your Ipod was in there. You had a playlist with my name that had every song we'd talked about, in order. Even the Reefs song."

"You, uh, knew about that? Back then?" He seemed embarrassed.

"Mmmhmm."

"And it didn't make me seem creepy to you?"

It was my turn to shrug. "I thought it was cute."

"Right."

"I did."

"Okay."

"Bear, you changed the subject anyways."

"…What was the subject again?"

"That I'm not going to cheat on you. I love you."

He perked at that. "When did you first know that?"

"That I loved you?"

"Yeah. I mean, I know when you first told me, on your birthday, but I mean when did you first know that you did?"

"Mmmm…You remember back in February? When your mom let you off punishment so that we could go to a concert?"

"What band was it?"

"One of your dumb ones."

"Hey-"

"And we went with Clarke and Rolly. Remember? She threw up in his car afterwards, but we were in the Land Cruiser, so we didn't even know until the next day when he told you."

"Yeah, I remember," he said then, nodding slightly. "She got drunk."

"Right."

"Puke made you love me?"

"No," I said, pushing his chest gently. "The day after that, I went out with Whitney and I had to pick her up from someone's house. It was out of town and raining and I got lost. Then I got a flat. Remember?"

"Yeah."

"I had a donut for the car, but I had no idea how to change the-"

"And I drove out there and changed it for you. Yes, I remember."

"It was freaking pouring and I didn't have a jacket, so you gave me yours, even though you got soaked because of it. I loved how after, you followed me in the Land Cruiser to make sure I got Whitney and got back home okay. I loved that you weren't even mad or angry that you had to ask your mom to leave the house again for me. I love the you care enough about me to squat in the rain and change a tire. I love that you love me."

He poked my stomach now, glancing behind him as the CD in his stereo changed on its own. It was one of those five disc changer ones and he always kept it full off CDs, never wanting the music to end. One of his acoustic sets began and I smiled softly.

"The first time I loved you was a lot earlier than that," he told me when his attention drifted back to our conversation.

"When?"

"Honestly, it was when you came and told me about Cash."

I frowned. "Owen-"

"It was. I'm not lying to you. I never have." He poked my stomach again. "You needed me. I wanted to be there for you. Someone had to be. And you picked me. No girl has ever picked me, Annabel. I love you for that."

"You sell yourself short."

"I don't sell myself as anything. I'd love for girls to like me."

It was my turn to poke his tummy. "Would you?"

"Well, before you." He frowned slightly, probably remembering something. "Girls never liked me until you. And then its only you."

"Clarissa likes you."

He frowned. "What?"

I nodded. "She does. She came up to me Wednesday. I told you. Remember? You skipped Wednesday and she came to find out why you had been skipping so much."

"We're friends."

"We're both girls, Owen. I know that she likes you. It's obvious."

"No."

"It's okay, Bear," I told him. "It's not like I'm afraid of something happening. I trust you. You'd never cheat on me."

"She's not you," he agreed, patting my stomach.

"No, she's not,' I said, nodding my head slightly. "And James isn't you."

"Annabel-"

"So you should stop worrying," I finished. "Deal?"

He moved closer, pressing his lips against mine for a moment before pulling back. "Deal."

* * *

"She's pregnant."

My eyes got big as I looked up. "N-No. I'm not even having-"

"Who?" Dad, who was also in the living room, just looked at my mother. He and I had been in there watching one of his documentaries, both lounging on the couch. James was due over in about two hours and I did not need this happening at the moment.

"Kirsten."

"What?" Dad frowned, sitting up now. Mom, who was still just in the doorway, sighed slightly.

"Drew-"

"How do you know? Did she call you?"

I let out a sigh of relief, though it was more for the fact that I wasn't the one in trouble. Kirsten being pregnant did concern me, but not as much as being grounded. Sometimes I'm selfish, I know.

"Yes. She said that she thought it was best if I tell you-"

"How could she do this?" Dad got up, stalking out of the room. "Where is my phone?"

"Andrew, listen to me. They're getting married anyways."

"The hell they are. And she still thinks I'm paying for that?"

"Drew, would you-"

"Annabel! Come help me find my phone," he called from the kitchen, still ruffling around in there. "Now."

"Andrew, knock it off."

I got up, knowing that I had better listen to him if I planned on staying off his bad side. My mother followed me into the kitchen, her arms crossed as she watched my father. She had been home the whole day, but up in her room, resting. She did that a lot now, rest. She hadn't felt well since the summer. Dad keeps saying she'll snap out of it, but she has yet to.

"How can you expect me not to be upset, Grace? This guy is a bum. Kirsten's not ready to be a wife, much less a mother.'

"What do you want her to do, Drew? What will you do? She's pregnant. That's not going to change."

"Oh the hell it isn't," he said as I finally just gave him the house phone, figuring his cell was upstairs or in the car.

"What do you mean?"

He just stared at her for a second before dialing my oldest sister's number into the phone. "Go upstairs, Annabel."

"Drew," Mom said slowly, still watching him. "You can't honestly think that Kirsten should…get rid of the baby."

I made a shocked face, glancing at my father. When he saw it though, he just pointed up the stairs again, making it known that he wanted me gone; this conversation had nothing to do with me.

I was only at the stairs when he spoke again.

"A lot of women get abortions these days, Grace. It's not that big of a deal anymore."

"You can't be serious."

"I just think that-"

"Listen to yourself, Andrew! God. Why is that always your solution to things?"

"What are you talking about? How is that always my solution?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

I was still on the stairs, frowning as I stood there. I didn't know what she was talking about.

"I said to go to your room, Annabel," Dad finally turned his voice on me, somehow still able to spot me there. "Now!"

Okay, message received.

Once I was up in my room, I quickly sent a text to Owen, telling him that we needed to talk soon. I made sure to add that it wasn't important, but just something with Kirsten. I knew he was busy and didn't want to be a nuisance to him. I just figured this might uplift his spirits some. He liked listening to my older sister's antics. This was probably the biggest of them all.

I stayed up in my room after that, until James finally arrived. He was a little late, but I wasn't complaining. At least it got me out of my room.

"Hey, Annabel," James greeted as I made it downstairs to open the front door. I had heard my mother come up the stairs earlier and knew she was back in bed. As for my father, I couldn't see him anywhere, but that didn't mean much. He was probably just in the garage.

"Hey," I volleyed back, letting him through the front door. "You're late."

"Time is all relevant, Annabel."

"I think you meant relative."

He ignored that. "Your boyfriend here?"

"Nope."

"Great." He headed to the kitchen, knowing the routine by now. "I need you to teach me how to do synthetic division."

I just sighed, going in there with him. "It's not that hard. Your teacher didn't show you how?"

"I like the way you teach me."

"Of course you do," I mumbled, sitting down at the table. "Well, come on then."

James stayed over for about an hour and a half. He had a test the following Wednesday and wanted to cram everything he needed to know in. He'd come over again on Tuesday to make sure he still had it.

After he was gone though, I was left with nothing to do. Owen had sent a text back saying he would call me that night when he was free or that we'd just talk in the morning when he picked me up for Anger Management.

That still didn't give me any hope for the rest of the day, so I went back up to my room to finish my own math homework. While I was in there though, my phone rang. I was of course overjoyed at the thought of Owen getting back to me, but when I answered, I found I was completely wrong.

"Hey, Bear."

"…Is there any specific reason you called me that or-"

"Oh, Kirsten, hey." I blushed slightly, closing my trig book. "I didn't expect you to be on the phone. I thought it was Owen."

"…So anyways, I'm sure you've heard by now."

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "That you're, like, pregnant or whatever."

"You can't be like pregnant, Annabel. Either you are or you aren't."

"Well, you're pregnant is what I meant. Right?"

"Yes."

"This isn't some ploy to get under Dad's skin?"

"Of course not," she said, clearly offended that I had said this. "I am pregnant with Brian's child."

"Well…congrats I guess."

She giggled at that. "It's kind of weird, you know? Being pregnant?"

"You can't drink now," I pointed out.

"I know. It's gonna suck."

"And you're going to get fat."

"Not that fat."

"Mmmm, no, you're gonna get pretty fat."

"Annabel."

I smiled then. "How far along are you?"

"Month and a half."

"And you're sure? Like really sure?"

"Yes, God."

"Well, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks."

"It's not as big of a deal as Dad's making it, right? You are marrying Brian."

"I am."

"So really, it doesn't matter."

"Right. I know. He's just being a dick because I've been busting his balls about being such a manwhore."

I had trouble agreeing with that, only because I had a hard time accepting my father in that way. Kirsten, obviously, did no have such hang-ups. "Well…Mom's forgiven him so-"

"Mom hardly gets out of bed anymore. Or at least that's what Whitney's told me."

"Well-"

"It's true, right?" Kirsten snorted. "Just wait until I come down for Christmas, Annabel. I'll get everything all straightened out, alright?"

"'kay," I gave in, just like I always would when it came to her. Kirsten was my big sister, my protector, and yes, sometimes my problem, but mostly just my biggest supporter. She always had my best interest at heart. Why shouldn't I believe her?

"You know what he told me?" she asked, getting back to the subject at hand. "On the phone earlier? That I should get an abortion, that this was just a mistake and if I did it before I told people, it would be like it never happened. Can you believe him?'"

"Yeah, I know," I said, actually fully agreeing with her for once. "That was, like, totally way over the line."

"I know. Like he controls me or something. I want this baby. I mean, I didn't plan for it, but I don't not want it."

I decided not to point out the double negative use for the time being. "Mom said something weird too."

"What?"

"About how he always uses this to fix things. I thought that she just meant that he gets rid of problems instead of dealing with them, but then he questioned her and she just told him that he knew what she was talking about. Then he sent me to my room."

She snorted over the phone. "Oh, she was talking about something."

"What?"

"You really don't know?"

"No…what?" Then something dawned on me. 'Oh my God, they got an…before? Like, when they were dating or something?"

"No," Kirsten said slowly. "They were going to, once, but it was a long time after they were married."

"…I don't get it."

"They were going to abort you, stupid."

"What?"

I could tell she was nodding even through the phone. "Yeah. They thought they were so sneaky about it, but they weren't."

"Why? Are you sure?"

"Why do you always think I'm wrong?"

"Well-"

"Yes, Annabel, I'm sure. I remember."

"You were way too young to remember something like that."

"Fine. Don't believe me. Ask Dad though and he'll tell you. Or Mom. She'll really tell you, how broken down she's been recently." Kirsten made a tsk noise. "You've really never known that?"

"No. Why would they?"

"I don't know. Money, I think."

"What do you-"

"I have to go, Annabel," she said, her voice suddenly animated. "Brian's here. We've got things to do. Talk to you later, huh?"

"But Kirsten-"

"Bye, Bear."

"Hey-"

She giggled before hanging up. Then I was alone again, for the rest of the day.

* * *

"Your mother's out. Again. Your boyfriend work today? We can do pizza, if you want."

"No," I told my father as I walked into the kitchen. He was leaning against the counter, texting on his phone. "Where'd Mom go?"

"Don't know, don't care." He glanced up at me. "What's wrong with you?"

I just stared at him, my arms crossed. "Did you try to get rid of me?"

He frowned slightly. "Your mother and I were talking, Annabel. You don't need to hear us argue."

"What? No. I don't care that you sent me to my room."

"You say it like I ordered you there."

"Dad, that's not why I'm-"

"I'm sorry if I yelled at you," he said, looking back down at his phone. "I was just mad at Kirsten."

"I know, but-"

"All better? Now, pizza or burgers?'

"Neither, Dad. I'm trying to ask you something."

He made a sweeping gesture with one hand. "Go ahead."

"Did you try to get rid of me? Like…abort me?"

That got him to look up at me, frowning. Then, probably figure that would make him look guilty, he went back to staring at his phone. "Why would you think that?"

"Kirsten said-"

"Kirsten. Right," he said with evident bitter in his voice. "She's really grating on my sanity."

"Did you though, Dad?"

He let out a long sigh as he moved to now lean on the island in the center of the kitchen, resting his hands against it as he stared at me.

"Things were a lot different back then, Annabel," he said, watching me. "I wasn't making good money. At all. We were barely scraping by. And it was just something that we…I thought of doing. Your mother wasn't for it at all. And besides, we didn't do it. Right? That's all that matters."

I turned my head away from him when he reached out to pat my cheek. "Would you really want Kirsten to kill her baby?"

This sigh wasn't as long as the other, but was still pretty substantial. "This is an adult issue, Annabel. You couldn't even begin-"

"I am an adult," I said, standing up straighter. "I'm eighteen."

That made him smile, though it was a sad one. "You can vote and buy cigarettes. You are not an adult."

"I am too."

"Do you have a job? Your own house? A family to provide for?" He answered his own question. "No. So don't try to even begin to-"

"What if I got pregnant?"

That made him raise his eyebrows. After a moment, he said, "Is there something you're trying to tell me?"

"N-No. Owen and I aren't even-"

"Good. Keep it that way."

I looked off, thinking of what we were doing instead. "But what if we were? And I messed up and got pregnant?"

"I would highly suggest that you got rid of it, yes."

"Dad-"

"But if you didn't want to, then you wouldn't. It's not my choice, Annabel. Just like it's not my choice what Kirsten does."

"Oh."

"It would be, however, my money that you would be needing to use, yes? If you and Owen…if that happened? That's what you would expect at least, that you and the baby would live with me, huh?"

"I guess."

"It wouldn't happen. Ever." He was staring hard at me now, watching my eyes. "Be well aware of that fact, Annabel. And the same goes for your sister. She won't get any help from me or your mother. This is ridiculous. In the day and age we live in, if she doesn't know how to keep her legs closed or use contraceptive, then she deserves to either live with aborting her baby or raising it all on her own. End of story."

I had never heard my father be so cold before. This was mainly because all our conversations were either about if I was okay or some historical fact. Then of course there were our sports discussions, in which I would just sit there and agree with everything he said, much like I did with Owen and music these days. It was easier that way, not getting them riled up. Never, though, had my father and I talked about something so serious. I don't even know who he voted for last election! God.

"You though, maybe I'd make an exception for you." I did let him pat my cheek now, not wanting to provoke him anymore. Then he leaned across the counter and gave me a kiss on the head. "You are, after all, my baby."

But I almost wasn't.

"Why?"

"Hmmm?" He was already turned around at this point, raiding the fridge for something easy for us to make for dinner. I knew wed end up with fast food, so I don't know why he was even pretending.

"Why did you change your mind? About aborting me?" It sounded weird, that sentence did. "Just because Mom didn't want to?"

He sighed. "Would you let it go? We didn't. And now that I have you, from the second that we had you, I wouldn't have gone back. Why does it matter?"

"Because it does, Dad."

"I just felt morally-"

"Don't lie to me. I'm not a kid anymore."

He let out another long sigh. "I just figured that you would…be a boy."

I took a moment before asking, "So if you had known-"

"Enough."

"Would you have though?"

"It wouldn't have mattered, Annabel. Your mother refused and I had no other options. Then when we found out, she was so gung-ho about it. Not to mention I couldn't…after I saw you, like saw you on the ultrasound I just…couldn't, alright?" He closed the fridge before turning to look at me again. "It's been eighteen years. Over eighteen years. Drop it. God, I can't believe your sister told you that."

I swallowed still watching him. "It's just weird."

"Then stop thinking about it. I don't. Ever." He walked around the counter now, wrapping his arms around me to pull me into a hug. It was an awkward one, as I just stood there, allowing him to do so, but not hugging him back. "You now that I love you. Right?"

"Right."

"Then who cares? I would go through all the money issues we had again, just to have you now. And God, Annabel, you don't even know how hard it was, back then. But I loved you every second. I still do. You're my baby, okay?"

"'kay."

He let me go with one last kiss to the head. "Now come on. Let's go get something to eat, huh?"

I just nodded, still standing there.

Why did something in the past affect me so much? I mean, God, they didn't abort me, obviously. And I am his favorite, right? So who cared?

…Me.

* * *

"Here I was, worried that you would have a boring, slit your wrists from boredom day," Owen said. "Wow. That's a lot. All I did was sit in with Mallory."

"How is she?"

"Fine," he said dismissively, clearly not wishing to dwell on that. "So he was really going to just, like, get rid of your or whatever? That's harsh."

"I know, right?"

"I mean, I thought only, like, young people got abortions. Not married people."

"Me too!" I shook my head, shifting the phone to the other hand. I was up in my bedroom, hiding out again. My mother had come home not soon after we did after going out to eat and my parents had resumed their cold war. Talking to Owen was by far the high light of my day.

"I'm glad he did, obviously.'

"Obviously."

"But man if it isn't something to think about, huh?" Owen whistled. "Imagine not having kid that you've always had. Damn."

"Is it selfish that I'm more concerned with the fact they almost freaking _killed me_ than I am about Kirsten being pregnant?"

"Not at all. I'd have liked to know if I was going to be aborted."

"Were you?"

"No."

"Can you be sure?"

"Annabel, you know how open my mother is. It would have come up." He let out a long sigh. "Besides, I kind of know some stuff."

"What do you mean?"

"My parents planned me. She's said so."

"Oh."

"Sorry we can't be almost aborted associates."

"You're really witty tonight."

"I just want to make you feel better."

I shook my head as I shifted on my bed. It was rather late and I was getting tired. I knew that tomorrow was Sunday and I have to be ready for the show, but I wasn't ready to fall asleep just yet. Besides, I still hadn't gotten everything off my chest about how bothered I was by all this. And I was, bothered that is. It's kind of shocking, learning that your parents only wanted you because they thought you'd be a boy. I mean, seriously. It's a lot to take in, knowing that there's a good possibility if they had known in time, they'd have killed you. Just like that. Seriously.

"Just talking to you makes me feel better," I assured him. "Besides, you have it way worse then me."

"What do you mean?"

"Whatever they decided and why ever they decided it, they kept me. They decided they wanted me."

"So?"

"You're, like, dealing with everything with Mallory and your dad coming and everything. That's way worse than me."

"Don't compare us, Annabel. Ever. Some parts of my life suck and some parts of yours do. You know when we play the pity game we always end up mad at each other."

He had a point.

"I accidentally called Kirsten Bear on the phone."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I did it to Dad a while ago too."

He sniggered. "That's funny."

"I just always assume its you calling me. You know, 'cause you do so much."

"That's 'cause I love you."

"Do you?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I love you too."

We were silent for a moment before he spoke again.

"And Annabel?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'd never abort you."

I smiled in the darkness of my bedroom. "Good."

"I might put you up for adoption when you cry too much, but-"

"Owen."

"Babies are loud. And smelly. I could get behind adoption."

"Shut up."

He chuckled slightly. "I do love you though."

"I love you too."

* * *

**Late, yes, but I've suddenly decided to sink my whole free time into play the campaigns on the Halo series. I hate Xbox (Nintendo is the video game god), but Halo is, like, one of my all time favorite series. It's the only thing I play on Xbox. You know, 'cause Cortana is so freaking awesome. Better late than never though, yes?**


	4. Chapter 4

Comfort

Chapter 4

"Annabel!"

I smiled as I closed the door softly behind me, effectively shutting Owen out. I didn't want him in the room, not right now.

"Hey, Mal," I said, going over to her bed. She was finally back home, though no one was sure how long. "I brought you some stuff."

She just glanced behind me at her bedroom door. "Owen's not going to like that."

"Owen can get over it."

Giggling at that, she readily took the magazines that I held out to her. "Thanks. Mom doesn't buy me magazines. She says that they're stupid."

"Yeah, I know." I pulled her desk chair over before sitting at the side of her bed. "How do you feel?"

She made a noise. "Everyone asks that."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's okay." She was staring down at the magazines now, reading the covers. Without looking up, she said, "Dad's here."

"I know. Owen and I are going out to dinner with him tonight."

She huffed slightly. "I wish I could go."

"I'm sorry," I told her, frowning slightly. I had come over to make her feel better, not worse. "But hey, at least your dad's here, huh?"

"I guess so."

"And Owen told me that with how well you're doing recently, you can probably be enrolled in school again soon. That's be fun, huh? First year of high school and all."

She just looked off, still not saying anything substantial. We fell silent after that, neither knowing what to say to one another. Normally, when we were alone together, Mallory would spaz out and hardly let me say anything, just randomly answer her never-ending questions. This was different though and we both knew it.

She wasn't home because she was better. She was home because there was nothing more they could do for her and thought she would be more comfortable here, at home.

"Did I ever get around to telling you what Owen gave me for my birthday over the summer?"

"No," she said, glancing at me. "I know he made you cookies?"

I nodded. "Then he wrote me a love letter."

"What?"

"Mmmhmm. He called it a note, but it was a love letter. It was obvious."

"Really? What did it say?" She smiled slightly, sitting up. "Did he-"

"I can't tell you that, Mal," I said, giggling a little bit. "It's personal."

"Come on. I won't tell anyone."

I gave her a look. "Owen told me that you told your aunt that I call him Bear."

"Well, yeah, I had to tell her that," she said, sinking back into her pillows, clearly tired again as she shut her eyes. "I had to tell someone at least."

I just smiled. "He gave me some goggles too."

"Goggles?"

"Yeah. He said they were your grandfather's or something."

She frowned, turning her head to look at me. She was so pale… "He gave you Grandpa's fighter goggles?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Wow." She coughed a little bit then before her eyes slipped closed. "He really likes you, Annabel."

"I know."

"I wish I had a boyfriend that liked me that much."

"I'm sure you'll get one eventually."

"Mmmm. I just don't want one as ugly as my brother."

"Mal."

Giggling softly, she shifted on the bed, her eyes still closed. "Annabel?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm glad that you and Owen are dating."

"Me too."

* * *

Needless to say, dinner was not fun. I mean yeah, I was happy to finally meet Owen's father, but it was a rather dreary affair. The whole reason he was in town was because his daughter was dying after all. Still, Owen had pushed for this, so his father was accommodating him.

"So, Owen, your sister told me something interesting when I stopped by the house to pick the two of you up," his father said before taking a sip of his water.

Owen, not looking up from his food, asked, "What's that?"

"Said you gave Dad's goggles away."

I blushed as Owen just kept eating his fries. When he did look up, it was just to move to pick up his burger. "Yep."

His father smiled at me then from across the table. "Thought you liked them."

"I do." He glanced at me then, as I was sitting next to him. "A lot."

I still wouldn't look at either of them, instead focusing on my own dinner. His father could tell then that Owen wasn't going to say much on the subject and changed it instead.

"My daughter seems to have taken a liking to you, Annabel," he told me then, going back to his steak. "She told me all about your sisters too. Something about a wedding."

"Oh, yes. My sister Kirsten's getting married in New York."

"When's that supposed to happen?"

"They're thinking December."

"They had better get on that. December is fast approaching."

"Yeah, it is," I agreed, nodding my head slightly. "They're thinking of pushing it back though, until she has the baby."

He glanced at Owen, but his son was now focusing on eating my fries. "She's pregnant?"

"Just found out."

"That must be exciting," he said as Owen poured ketchup all over my food. I made a face at him, but he still just ate. He did that when he was nervous. "Will it be your first time being an aunt?"

"Uh, yeah, actually," I said, not even having thought of that. I would be an aunt. Wow. Hope I don't turn out like Owen's…

"Can we talk about something else?" Owen finally looked up, leveling his eyes on his father. "How long are you staying?"

"A week," he answered him as he turned his vision back to his son. "You work a lot this week?"

"Not a lot. Normal schedule," he answered, reaching out to grab his cup of soda. "Did you bring my stuff?"

"Back at the hotel. We can stop by there before I take you home."

"Stuff?" I asked Owen.

"He brought some of my videogames and things," he said, shrugging slightly. "I needed them here."

"Mmmm."

Dinner was mostly uneventful. Afterwards, I got dropped at my house, Owen promising me that he would call before he went to bed. I just told him goodnight and told his father that I was glad to meet him. Then it was just me and my lonely house.

Dad went out of town on his annual business trip, Mom going along with him. Whitney had Mom's car while they're gone and was told to check up on me at some point on the long weekend. It was a four day weekend and so far, all I've blown was the Friday. Sigh. My sister had made it known to me that she didn't plan on driving all the way home just to check on me, so to call if I needed her. Yeah, like I'd ever need her.

"I'm so bored," I muttered to myself sometimes later as I stepped out of the shower. My phone, which sat on the bathroom counter, had gone off while I was in there and I was pretty sure it was Owen. I was shocked to find it had been my father. I immediately called him back, putting the phone on speaker as I moved around the bathroom, getting ready for bed.

"Where are you?"

"Home," I said. "And hello to you too."

"You answer when I call, Annabel."

I rolled my eyes. "I was in the shower. Sorry."

"Did your sister come to stay with you?"

"Of course not, Dad. That's not what was agreed upon anyways."

He let out a long sigh. 'I'm just…uncomfortable with you being in that big house all alone."

Last year, it had been Mom that didn't want to leave Whitney alone. This year, it had been Dad. He kept asking me if I would be okay in the house all alone. He even tried to get Mom to stay home, but that backfired. She immediately accused him of wanting to cheat while he was gone, causing his whole ploy to keep me under lock and key to deteriorate. I don't know what his hang-up has been about keeping me cooped up all alone recently, but it's starting to get to me.

"I've stayed home alone before, Dad."

He just grunted. "So you're home then? From dinner?"

"Yes."

"How was it? Meeting Owen's father?"

"Fine," I told him as I continued to get dressed.

"Good, good," he said before clearing his throat. "Your mother's here. Sleeping. She hasn't felt well since we got here."

She hasn't felt well since she found out that he was cheating on her. That was a moot point now though, I'm almost certain.

"Oh," was all I could say. What else was there to say?

"She wanted me to tell you that she loved you and to call your sister for whatever you need." He paused for a second. "But call me first, Annabel, if something's wrong. Huh? And no parties. No having friends over. Got it? And definitely no Owen."

"Dad, I know."

"I know you know. I don't know, however, that you're going to follow what you know."

"It's a weekend, Dad. Can you not trust me for that long?" I shook my head, now staring in the mirror. "Besides, Dad, you know that his sister is… We're not even going to spend much time together this weekend, I'm sure."

Dad let out a long breath. "Has your sister called?"

"I just told you-"

"I meant Kirsten. Has she called you since…?"

"No. Why?"

"She's not currently accepting my phone calls."

"Oh."

"Which I think is just-"

"Dad," I tried. "You told her to abort her baby. It's only natural that she'd be angry with you."

"I was helping her, Annabel."

I didn't want him to be angry with me too, so I quickly gave in.

"I know. She just misinterpreted it."

Dad gave out a short huff. "Well, I had better go then. Be safe tonight. Lock all the doors, huh? And go to bed at a reasonable time."

"I will, Dad. I love you."

"Love you too," he grumbled before hanging up. Then I was alone again.

For a little while anyways. Owen, as promised, called around eleven to tell me goodnight. Well, it started as us just saying goodnight, but it quickly changed to just talking.

"I wish I was at your house right now. God, your parents are gone and I'm stuck here."

I giggled slightly, shifting on the bed. I had been getting ready to go to sleep when Owen called. It's not like I had much else to do in the big, empty house. "What would we do in this big, empty house?"

"What wouldn't we do?"

"Touché."

Owen let out a long sigh. "Mal was happy, you know, about you seeing her today. And bringing her those stupid magazines."

"R and R."

"On what?"

"Stupid magazines."

"I will not rephrase the truth."

"Bear."

"I'm honest. You know that."

"Mr. Honesty."

"That's right."

I sighed, shaking my head slightly. "You know that Dad called me."

"To check up on you?"

"Yeah, I guess so. And then he bitched about Kirsten some."

"I don't get your sister. She's angry with your dad, sure. Alright. Whatever. Why doesn't she just stop talking to him then? Stop dealing with him? It seems pretty simple."

"As much as she dislikes him, I think, she still loves him. She just wants to get back at him."

"'A little revenge and this too shall pass.'"

"What?"

"It's a quote. Bruce Springsteen? It's in a song."

"…Anyways, back on topic."

"Was there a topic?"

"Uh, try Kirsten?"

"I don't wanna talk about her," Owen complained. "Let's talk about something else."

"What?"

"Let's talk about that guy you were talking to before school."

"What guy?"

"Bella."

"God, Owen, it was just Kyle."

"Kyle…?"

"Kyle Yates. He's James' friend."

"I don't approve."

"I don't care."

"Hey-"

"Poor Bear. No one cares about his opinion."

"Poor Bella. She's gone through the first 18 years of her life thinking she was funny."

"Poor Bear. He's never going to win Annabel's heart when he keeps acting like that."

"Poor Bella. She really thinks Owen cares."

"Poor Bear. He really thinks he can win an argument."

"Yes, poor me."

"Poor you." I giggled then. "I'm scared, Bear."

"Of what?"

"Being home alone," I told him. "I wish you could be here with me."

"Not as much as I want to be there with you."

"What would you do over here then, Bear? Just us, all alone, all night."

"Hmmm. I would make us an awesome mix before I left."

"Does music have to be in every faction of our lives?"

"Why yes, Bell, it does."

"What else would we do?" I asked with a roll of my eyes. "Hmmm?"

"You know, stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Amazing stuff."

"Would you bring your, uh, Vaseline?"

'Annabel."

That made me chuckle. "Could we snuggle, Snoogie? Afterwards?"

"Of course. If you wanted."

"Would we have to listen to your stupid mix while we were?"

"Stupid? Rephrase."

"No."

He let out a long sigh. "Do you really want me to come over?"

"Could you?"

"No. We can dream about it though."

"Dream? Maybe you. Not me though."

"Right. Since you don't sleep, you don't dream."

"I sleep."

"Not without me."

"Mmmm."

"I love you, Annabel. And I think that tomorrow- Shit. Mom's calling me. I have to go."

"Bear-"

"Try and sleep, huh? If you can't call me. I'll be up. Promise. Okay?"

"'kay."

"Love you."

"I love you too."

Then it was just me and the big empty house.

* * *

"It's almost like we stayed the whole night together."

"Almost."

At five thirty that morning, Owen had pulled up to my house. It was the earliest his mother would let him out of the house, knowing he was coming over to my house. I was up and waiting for him, thinking that we would actually eat breakfast or something. Alas, Owen wasn't interested in food. Not for the time being at least.

"The sun looks nice in your house, rising and everything," Owen whispered as we laid cuddled up on my bed, staring out the glass from of my bedroom.

"You need to unlock your manly side."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." I snuggled back against him. "You're kind of, you know, girly."

"I'm all man."

"Okay, hairless wonder."

That offended him. I didn't have to see his face to know that. "I have hair. You've seen it."

I made a face. "I meant chest hair, Bear."

"Would you rather I was all hairy and nasty? Huh?"

"I like you just the way you are. Wish you were more manly though."

"Annabel-"

"I'm kidding."

"Better be."

We laid in bed for a long time, me falling in and out of consciousness. I hadn't slept much the night before, instead spending the night texting Owen. There was something about being home alone that makes you excited at first. Then, when you realize just how alone you are, you need someone to spend the time with.

"Owen."

"What? You're the one that said that I should be more manly."

"Farting is not manly. It's just disgusting."

"Meh."

It was then that I stretched and pushed away from him. It was past seven now. "Let's go make breakfast."

He pushed out of the bed after me. "Do you have-"

"Yes, Owen, we have freaking eggs."

Wrapping his arms around me, he gave me a kiss on the neck before heading out the room. "Great. How do you want yours?"

"However you want yours."

"Scrambled it is."

When we made it to the kitchen, I just jumped up onto the counter, letting my boyfriend make our breakfast. Eggs were his thing, after all.

"Sausage or bacon?"

"Mmmm…sausage," I said, kicking my feet back and forth while I stared at my phone. "Clarke says that her and Rolly want to do something tonight with us."

"Are they back to-"

"Have no idea."

"Do you wanna go out with them?"

"Do we have any other plans?"

"I thought we could stay in your empty house all night and, you know, mess around."

"Are those our only options?"

"Unless you have anything."

"I think that we should go out tonight, but not with Clarke and Rolly."

"Alone?"

"No," I said slowly.

"Then with who?"

I looked up at him, but he was focused on his precious eggs. "James and Kyle were going to go out with two girls tonight, but James is grounded and can't go. So Kyle needs someone to go with him and this girl."

"…So Clarke and Rolly it is."

"Bear-"

"I don't like James."

"And he's ground, so he won't be there."

"I don't like this…Kyle either."

"Well, I do."

"Annabel-"

'We're going."

"Why does he even want you to go?"

"So that I can check out this girl and see if she's any good."

"What difference does it make?"

"I don't know. He wanted James to meet her, to decide if she could hangout with them. Now that he's out though, I get to decide."

"Why you?"

"Because Kyle and I are friends."

"He doesn't have any other friends?"

"Bear-"

"I don't wanna go."

"Well, if we don't go, then I don't want to hangout tonight."

"What?"

"But if we do, then we can come back to my big, empty, lonely house and, well, just be together. It's up to you, Snoogie."

He glanced at her. "Are you bribing me?"

"Bargaining is more like it."

"Hmmm. Hard choice."

"You can spend the night with me and Kyle and then come back to my house with me or you can go out alone with Clarke and Rolly only to listen to them argue and go back home where it will just be you and your hand."

"Hmmm. Not so hard choice."

"That's what I thought."

"You want toast too?" he asked, going to put bread in the toaster. "Bell?"

"Sure."

"You could help, you know."

"I am helping," I defended, texting Clarke back that we couldn't go out with them, that we already had plans.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And what kind of help are you giving?"

"Moral support."

He cracked a small smile. "You know that I'm in love with you, huh?"

"Yeah, I know."

* * *

"He's really big."

"Yeah, I know."

"Kyle," I complained, glancing behind us. Owen was in the bathroom though and wasn't here to hear them talk about him. "That is my boyfriend you know."

"But he's big," his date insisted. "I mean, God, I'm afraid of him."

Kyle ate some more popcorn, watching the previews. "Does he have any pot? Annabel?"

I frowned at him. "No."

"That's okay then."

"Yeah, I know it is."

We were already at the movies, Kyle sitting on one side of me, Owen on the other. So far, things had been going good, but not much had had a chance to happen. Owen and I had just met Kyle and his date, Cindy, here before getting concessions and going in. We were seeing some horror movie and then going out to eat. I was expecting more of a reaction out of Owen later, when we were eating dinner. Still, though, he was supposed to be on his best behavior, seeing as if he was, he got to go home with me that night. That's always a good incentive.

"Hey, baby," Owen greeted as he finally made it back. Sliding into the seat next to me, he said, "Movie bathrooms are nice."

"Mmmm."

"Like really nice."

"Don't be a freak," I told him, reaching over to lay my hand on his thigh. That got him to shut up.

"Previews are boring," Cindy said randomly. "I wish the movie would start."

Kyle just kept eating popcorn, seemingly oblivious to her. Owen, for his part, was far too focused on my hand on his thigh to think any coherent thoughts. And I didn't want to talk to her. I mean, from what I've learned of her, she's very judgmental. …Owen's not that big. I mean, God. They act like he's fat or something. …Not that it was bothering me or anything.

For most of the movie I ended up leaning against Owen's arm and stealing sips from his drink. I had gotten Diet Coke while he'd gotten regular, so it wasn't really fair of him to think I wouldn't do that. I mean come on. Be serious.

"That movie sucked."

"I liked it," Cindy challenged my boyfriend as we walked out of the theater.

"The musical score was horrible. I mean-"

"The what?"

Owen glanced at me, but I wasn't looking at him. Instead, I was focused on Kyle, who I had given my still half full bucket of popcorn. He was eating it just as methodically as he had his own, hardly even listening to us.

"Are you okay?" I asked him to which he just nodded. "Are you sure? You seem…messed up."

That made him smile at me. "I'm always like this."

"If you're sure."

We were outside the movie theater now, slightly ahead of my boyfriend and Cindy, so Kyle felt it safe to ask me something.

"Do you like her?"

"She's nice," I said slowly. "For you, I guess."

"No, I mean, like, do you think she'll have sex with me? Tonight?"

I frowned. "Is that what James was supposed to do? Figure out if she was easy?"

"Mostly."

"I have no idea how to do that."

"Well, are you and Owen having sex tonight?"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you?"

"It's really none of your-"

"So no," he said, eating more popcorn. "Which means that all you have to do is think about your mindset and see if it matches hers. If so, this date has been a waste." Then he looked at me. "Unless you'll have sex with me."

I pushed his head gently. "You don't give up, do you?"

"Perseverance is a key to life."

"And so is being high, right?"

"For me it is," he said, nodding his head as we headed down the street. There was a fast food place just down the road where we were going to eat. "James text me that if I get laid tonight, he'll buy me beer too."

"Why does he need to buy it for you?"

"He's the one with the fake I.D."

We stared at each other for a moment before I looked back at my boyfriend. "Owen and I aren't like that."

"I know. You guys are, like, all good and stuff. That's cool. That's nice. You're nice."

"Still not going to have sex with you, Kyle."

"Not even a little?"

"How would you have a little sex?"

"I have no idea. If you'd like to show me though-"

His head got another push which made him smile. Owen and Cindy were closer to us now though, so I went ahead and stopped the conversation right there, falling back to fall into step with my boyfriend.

"She knows nothing about music," Owen whispered to me as Cindy took her place next to her date. "Like at all. Or about movies. I mean, I'm no movie connoisseur-"

I interlaced our fingers. "You want a kiss?"

"Huh?"

"That was a big word. I've decided to kiss you every time you use a big word. You know, as motivation."

"Oh." He stopped walking for a second, leaning down to kiss me. "I like this idea."

"Thought you would."

* * *

"You're going to have to go home at some point."

"Mmmm."

We were back home by now, cuddled up in my bed, ending the day the same way we had started it.

"Your mom's gonna be pissed if you don't."

"I will," he assured me, not opening his eyes. "Shhh. I like this song."

It was a little past eleven, but I knew as the clock drifted closer and closer to midnight, Owen's desire to leave and my forcefulness with him having to would dwindle into nothing. Still, it was his butt on the line, not mine. My parents were far, far away from me right now. All I had to do was tell them he hadn't been here and all was good. Of course, that would be a violation for Owen, as it was lying, but hey. I'm a liar. I'm human. Sue me.

"Mmmm, Bell." He shifted against me. "You wanna do something before I go?"

"Like?"

"I dunno. Whatever you wanna do. Watch TV, play computer games, mess around-"

"You just had to throw that one on the end, didn't you?"

"I wasn't going to, I thought it was implied, but then I figured I better go ahead and make it clear that I wanted to do that."

"What all do you want to do?"

"That shirtless thing that we did before? Without the bra? That was fun. I liked that."

I made a face up at him, but Owen just stared at me. "Bear."

"You did ask," he pointed out.

"I did," I agreed.

"So make with the bralessness."

That got him a hit in the arm. "Owen."

He just smiled though, pressing a kiss against my head. "I love you."

"I know."

We were silent after that, focused more on making out than anything else. Owen was intent from the get go on taking my shirt off. Which was fine, I didn't mind it. After all, this is what he was here for.

"Stop," I whispered to Owen at one point. We were by then both shirtless, Owen only being in his boxers. He had pulled my shorts down at this point and was working on my underwear. "I'm serious."

He just kept kissing my neck though he did move his hands back up my body. I squirmed slightly making him pull back to look at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Your hands are cold."

He smiled at that as his hands made it to my breasts. "Warm them up then."

It was well past midnight when everything was said and done. Owen was now late, but he didn't seem to mind as we laid around in my bed. I didn't mention the time to him because, even though I figured he knew what time it was, on the off chance he didn't, I didn't want me telling him to cause him to rush home. I didn't want him to go anywhere. I wanted him to stay with me the whole night. I knew, of course, that that was not only improbable, but also extremely selfish. He should be with his family, I know, but I like him with me. I really do.

"Mmmm." I snuggled into his chest, my eyes closed. "Are we going to sleep?"

"I'm hungry."

I smiled, patting his stomach gently. "Aren't you always?"

As he slipped out of bed, I cuddled under the blankets, mumbling to him that he could go get whatever he wanted from the fridge. He gave me a kiss before heading out to do just that. I fell asleep before he got back.

It was Owen that woke me up again, around two in the morning on accident. He had shifted on the bed weird, shaking me awake.

"Mom never called me," he told me when he saw that I was up. "Or texted or anything."

"Maybe she and your sister stayed at your aunt's," I offered up. "Then they wouldn't even know you were gone."

"Maybe."

"Then you won't get in trouble."

He frowned at me. "I'll still tell her, Bell."

"Why?"

"Because, Annabel, if I don't, it'll be a lie by omission."

"I just don't think that it's a real lie. And if you tell her, you'll get in trouble."

"Yeah, I know." He moved down to kiss my neck. "But it was worth it."

Squirming, I giggled as Owen tickled my bare stomach. I was only in my panties and bra now, something that was new for us. Owen clearly liked it though. Rubbing against me, I knew he was about to want more. Sure, it'd been a few hours, but I wasn't really that into it.

"Cut it out," I whispered to him though that was really dumb. No one else was around after all. "Bear, I don't want to."

"Don't want to what?"

"Owen-"

"Shhh, Annabel. It's just me."

Oh my God.

"What are you doing?" he asked as I pushed out of the bed, almost tripping over myself. "Annabel, where are you going? What did I do? Bella-"

I slammed the bathroom door behind me the second I made it there. I knew that I had just had a major overreaction, but I couldn't help it. Sure, I knew Owen had no idea the origin of those words, but still. In the darkness of the bathroom, I faced the mirror, staring intently at myself.

"Bella, can I come in?" He knocked on the bathroom door. "I, uh, didn't mean to…I was just messing around. I didn't know that you…earlier we…so I thought that it would be…I'm sorry. Please, let me in."

I took a deep breath, turning on the sink. After splashing water in my face, I went to open the bathroom door and let him in. Owen just stood there though, watching me in the darkness.

"What did I do?"

"It wasn't you," I whispered, moving back when he tried to touch me. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, I shouldn't have-"

"It wasn't what you did, Owen. It was what you said."

"What did I-"

"Will said that. Shhh. He said that."

"Bella-"

"I know it's stupid, but I just…in the dark and like this…"

"Shhh." Owen came closer then, taking my face into his hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that. You never said that. If you'd told me…"

"It's okay, Bear."

"It's not though. 'cause I'm not him. And I don't want you thinking about him when we're doing that. Ever."

I leaned into one of his hands, reaching up to stroke the other. "Bear."

"I'd never hurt you."

"I know, Bear."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He kissed my head, lingering for a few moments before pulling back. "Sorry if I freaked you out before."

"It's okay."

"You never have to be afraid of me. I'm here to protect you." He smiled then, softly. "Is it weird if I'm still turned on?"

"Bear-"

"It's just…you're practically naked in front of me."

I moved back away from him, slipping from his grasp. "Come here."

He watched as I jumped up on the counter. "What are you doing?"

"Just come here," I said, smiling at him. "Bear."

When he was close enough, I reached down, pulling his boxers down him slightly.

"Annabel-"

"It's what you want."

"But what about what you want?"

"I had what I wanted tonight. I'm not an overly horny teenage boy."

"Overly?"

"Overly."

"I'll take that."

I stared into his eyes instead of looking down. "It's not like you could deny it."

* * *

"I am so dead when I get home."

I kissed Owen gently, smiling sleepily at him. "Then don't go home."

"That is a very tempting offer," he told me, watching behind me as the sun came up. "But eventually I have to go."

"Yeah."

"I'm not one for putting off the inevitable."

I kissed his bare chest this time. "This was our first night together."

That got him to smile. "Yeah."

"Is that all you can say?"

He rubbed our noses together. "I love you."

"That's more like it."

Chuckling slightly, he ran a hand down my back. "Soak it up now, babe. I'm probably going to be grounded in a few hours."

"Probably."

"So I guess we can just bask in the afterglow right now."

"…I think you have to have sex, like all the way, for there to be afterglow."

"Meh."

Giggling, I leaned up to kiss him again. "I love you, Bear."

"I love you too."

We both laid there for a moment, watching each other before something dawned on both of us.

"Anger Management," we both said at the same time, stricken.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," Owen complained as he went around the room, collecting his clothes. "God, Annabel."

"God me? God you."

He just groaned. "What time is it?"

"Six thirty."

"Shit!"

"Do you have the playlist on you?"

He was slipping his jeans on at the moment. After a quick pat of his jeans, he said, "Yes. Yes! The flash drive, I've got it."

"Then we're not dead yet."

* * *

"That was close."

I smiled at Owen as we stood on my front porch. "Yeah."

It was after the show and instead of going out to eat like usual, Owen had taken me straight home. Both us and Rolly agreed it'd be best for him to head home as soon as possible instead of staying out later on the off chance his parents hadn't even noticed his absence.

"I wouldn't change a thing," he told me, kissing me gently as he took a step forward. When he pulled away, he whispered, "I'll see you later, Bell."

"Bye."

"Call me. If I still have my phone, I'll answer."

"'kay," I said, watching as he went. I knew once he was gone I'd be alone. "I love you, Bear."

"I love you too."

I stayed that way, alone, until about five on Sunday when the doorbell rang. I found it to be my sister who looked less than thrilled to be there.

"I didn't really think you'd come."

"Dad got a call."

"From?"

"One of the neighbors called him."

"About?"

"Mr. Jenkins," she said, nodding across the street. "Dad told him they were going out of town and to watch the house. You know, just all usual stuff. Well, Mr. Jenkins called him and told him that there was a car parked in front of the house that wasn't one of ours."

I blushed. "Whitney-"

"Annabel, you can't be serious. I thought his dad was in town?"

"Yeah, well."

She let out a long breath. "I guess I can tell Dad that I came here and saw the car too, but it belonged to one of the neighbors or something. That it wasn't Owen's."

"You'd do that?"

She came into the house, pushing right passed me. "You'd owe me one."

"Definitely."

"And I don't know what you'd owe me yet, but it could be anything. No rules."

"No rules."

"And if you don't follow through when I call whatever I decided it to be in, then I'll tell Dad. And know this, he won't like it. At all."

"Okay, I get it. God."

"Now." She turned to look at me. "What did the two of you do?"

"Just…messed around."

"Annabel-"

"We've never really had, uh, sex or anything."

She made a face. "Why not?"

"I don't know."

"Have you-"

"We just touch, alright?"

"And you both…like that?"

"Well, yeah."

"And he's never wanted…more?"

"I'm sure he does, but he's never said anything." I couldn't meet her eyes for some reason. I mean, God, it's just Whitney! "Besides, he's never…"

"Never…?"

"He's still a, uh, virgin, so just what we're doing now is-"

"Well that's not shocking."

I gave her a look. "That's my boyfriend."

"Then I'm sure you're aware."

"I find Owen very attractive."

"Oh, Annabel."

"I do."

"Right. That explains why he's the first boyfriend you've ever had that wasn't super skinny or super muscular."

"I've finally found what I want."

"You're really full of it."

I was about done with her. "At least I have someone."

"Oh, I have someone."

"Whatever."

"I do."

"Oh yeah? Then why have I never heard of him?"

"Because I'm not a dumb as you," she told me in that blunt way she always had. "After the trial, you just sprung Owen on Mom and Dad like an idiot. Not me. I'm not introducing them to Lucas until-"

"Who's Lucas?"

She just stared at me for a moment before coming closer. Reaching into her pocket, she quickly pulled out her phone before flipping through it. When she finally settled on a picture she liked, she held it out to me.

"See?"

"Why can't he meet Mom and Dad?"

She shrugged, taking her phone back. "He's hot, isn't he?"

"I-"

"Oh, right, you think Owen's hot. Your opinion is invalid."

I sent her a look. "When are you going to tell Mom and Dad though?"

"When we get serious enough, I guess."

"What do you qualify as serious enough?"

"Married for about twenty years."

"Ha ha."

"I don't know, Annabel." She glanced up at me. "You know how weird Mom is about my life. And the last thing I want is for them to put me back in therapy. I mean, God, you were freaking sexually assaulted and they only made you go once. I threw up and they sent me for months."

I didn't need it though. She did. Instead of voicing this though, I reached out and took her phone, flipping through a few more photos.

"What's he like?"

"Luke?" She smiled which was rare for her. He must be something. "He's great."

"Is he from around here?"

"Yeah. He lives in my apartment building."

"Oh la la."

That got me a look. "I haven't even told Kirsten yet, so you keep quiet, alright?"

"Why haven't you told Kirsten?"

That got an eye roll. "You know her. She couldn't keep murder a secret."

"What are you going to tell Mom and Dad though when you do introduce them to him?"

"What do you mean?"

"They'll want to know why you kept it quiet for so long," I pointed out.

"Oh, I'll tell them that it was because he's black."

That made me take pause. "I really don't think they'd be bothered by that, Whitney."

"Oh, I know. It'll be a good excuse though, huh?" She pocketed her phone, smiling once again. "Get them off my back about it at least."

"I guess so."

"Besides, I think I'll invite him to Kirsten's wedding as my plus one. Dad'll be so freaked about that that he'll hardly even notice."

"Mom'll notice though."

"Mom can hardly keep from throwing herself off a cliff," she said with no humor in her voice. Taking a serious tone now, she said, "Keep an eye on her, Annabel. I'm serious."

"I know."

"Dad just thinks this is all going to blow over, but she's…Just watch over things while I'm gone, huh?"

With that, Whitney headed further into the house. She must have needed something from her room for her to drive all the way down here instead of just calling to tell me she knew Owen spent the night. It wasn't any of my business, after all.

I smiled, heading into the living room, not even mentioning my new thought to my sister. She thought she had one up on me, knowing that Owen spent the night, but I had one on her now. She had a secret boyfriend. Just the word secret would cause Mom and Dad to go crazy. Owen spending the night? Expected. Whitney concealing a boyfriend? Totally from left field.

It felt good to be ahead for once. Finally.


	5. Chapter 5

Comfort

Chapter 5

"-is stupid, but I think it's a good idea. It's hard to have an original idea in life anymore, you know? In the musical world it's even harder. And I'm sure someone's done it before, but this band takes it to a whole new lev-"

"Mom's not getting out of bed anymore."

Owen frowned, glancing over at me. "Huh?"

Swallowing, I kept staring up at ceiling. "Yeah. She had been working, you know, since, like the beginning of the year, but she's quit her job. Dad made it seem like it was for the better or whatever that she was going to be home again, but since she quit, she just sleeps all day."

"Is she okay?"

"I guess so. Dad tells me not to worry about it, but it's almost like…"

"Almost like what, Bella?"

"It's almost like when her mother died and she refused to leave her bedroom."

"Have you spoken to her?"

"I've tried. She doesn't…Kirsten's coming home soon for Thanksgiving Break. She wasn't before, but now she is."

"That's weeks away. Months, really. October, November."

"I know, but Whitney's never home anymore and Dad's, like, oblivious to everything."

"It's his fault that she's like this, right? Huh?"

"Owen-"

"He cheated on her and now she's given up. That's stupid."

"Bear, you don't get it."

"What's she going to do? Rot in there?" He frowned. "Maybe you should just talk to her."

"I've tried."

"I mean really talk to her. Like tell her to just leave your dad if-"

"Owen." I pushed his chest gently. We were lying in his bed, him on his side, me on my back. I had spent the last hour listening to him give the pros and cons of some new style of music he was into. Now I had to listen to him tell me that my parents should just separate? "They don't need to leave each other."

"And why not? Is your dad really not fooling around on her anymore? Because if he is, don't you think that it would suit him to have her all holed up in her room, depressed and what not?"

His chest got another shove. "Knock it off."

"I don't get why you hold your father to such a high standard, Annabel. He's a fucking dick."

"I'm going home. You-"

"No you're not." Owen laid a hand on my stomach, pushing me down. "You're not going anywhere."

"Owen-"

"I'm not being mean, Annabel. I'm just giving my opinion."

"I didn't ask for your opinion."

"Then why the heck did you start telling me about your mother?"

"I was telling you something, Owen, God. Not everything I say to you is me telling you that I want you to do something or say something. Sometimes I just want to get things off my chest."

"Well," he began slowly, watching me. "Your chest is relatively small."

"Owen-"

"I'm not really a boob person anyways," he told me, pressing his hand into my stomach now. "It'd be weird if you had huge breasts. It'd be non-proportional. And as it is, your body is very proportional."

"Flattery will get you nowhere."

"I just don't think that your father's really all that good of a guy. Not the guy you paint him to be anyways."

"I don't paint him to be anything."

"You kind of do, Bell."

"No."

"I get that you like him and everything, but he has his faults. I mean God, he did try to abort you."

"I should have never told you that."

Groaning, Owen shut his eyes. "It's impossible to talk to you right now."

"Then let's not talk."

"Agreed."

It was a Wednesday night and for once Owen didn't have work. His sister was back in the hospital again, this time after collapsing at home. This happened the same day that Owen went back home after spending the night with me, so needless to say our little sleepover was the furthest thing from his mother's mind.

"Knock it off," I told Owen as he started to kiss my neck five minutes later.

"Shhh. No talking."

"Owen-"

"It was your rule."

"Just stop kissing me."

"But it's our song."

I glanced over at his stereo, pausing for a moment to listen to it. "You're finally conceding to that fact then, Bear?"

"'Thank You' just is our song. Case and point."

"Mmmm."

"It doesn't have to be our only song of course."

"Of course."

"Just our main one."

"How many songs does a couple need?"

"It's not about need, Annabel. It's about want."

"Ah."

He nuzzled his head into my neck. "You have to go home soon."

"I know."

"I wish we could stay together every night."

"Mmmm…not every night."

"No?"

"No. Those nights when we eat burritos? We can be separate."

"'cause you'll fart so much and you don't want me to know."

"No, I was leaning more towards you doing that."

"Nope, it'll be you."

I pushed his chest again. "Bear, I'm a girl. I don't fart."

"Oh, now that is a direct lie."

"Is not."

"You've farted in front of me."

"Liar."

"Have too."

"Owen-"

"Hold on." He moved away from me, sitting up now as he pulled his cell phone from is pocket. "It's Cam. Be quiet for a second, huh?"

I just rolled onto my side, staring at him now.

"Hello?" Owen answered. "Yeah, she's here. Soon. Why? …Really? I'll be there- No, Cam. Yes, I can. Who cares how much school I've missed?" He was quiet for a long time after that, just sitting there, listening. "I said I'll be there so I will. Bye."

"What's going on?"

"Mallory's…I have to go." He looked at me. "Cam told me not to come, that I have school in the morning, but fuck it. I don't care about school."

"Owen-"

"Come on. Let's go. I'll drop you at home."

"Maybe you should-"

"I have to go, Annabel," he told me roughly, frowning when I didn't rise immediately. "Now."

I frowned at him, but said nothing as I quickly gathered my stuff before following him out of the house. "Sorry. I just-"

"Not now, okay?"

When we got into the Land Cruiser, he immediately set his music up high and I prepared for another silent ride back home. And it was too, silent. Until we pulled up to my house that is.

"I didn't mean to snap at you, alright?" Owen gave me a kiss on the head as I unbuckled my seatbelt. "I'd walk you up to the door, but-"

"It's fine, Bear."

"I love you," he told me, pressing a kiss against my lips now.

"I love you too," I said, getting out of the car. "Text me if you need me."

"I probably can't take you to school in the-"

"Dad can."

"Does Whitney have your-"

"Yeah. I can use Mom's though, if she's not going to." I waved him off. "Just go be with your sister."

"I love you."

"You've said that."

"And I'll keep saying."

"Owen-"

"Goodbye."

I smiled at him one last time before getting out of the Land Cruiser. "Goodbye."

Owen watched me make it into the house before pulling out. Inside, I found my father in the living room, watching TV. He smiled at me as I came to sit down on the opposite side of the couch as him.

"Owen's gotta be at the hospital tomorrow with Mallory," I told him. "Can you take me to school? Or can I use Mom's car?"

He frowned, glancing over at me. "Isn't that boy missing a lot of school?"

I shrugged. "He said that he doesn't care about school."

Letting out a long sigh, Dad looked back at the television. "I can't just tell you that you can use your mother's car, Annabel. You'd have to ask her."

"But she hasn't been using it," I reasoned. "Would it really matter?"

"I don't…" He looked off for a moment. "I can just take you to school, huh? It'll be easier than bothering your mother."

"Who's going to pick me up?"

He groaned, leaning his head back. "I guess maybe-"

"Just let her take the car."

We both glanced up as my mother came into the room, already dressed for bed. Or maybe she had never dressed for the day.

"Whitney needs to get her own car," Dad grumbled finally, looking back at his television. "I brought burgers home for us, Grace. Left yours on the table. Might want to heat it up."

"I'm not hungry," she told him, going into the kitchen.

"You haven't eaten all day."

"I haven't felt well today."

He huffed, pushing up from the couch before going into the kitchen as well. I heard him say a few things to her that only succeeded in making her go back up the stairs and to bed. She did bring her hamburger with her though, so I guess there's that. Then again, my mother breaking her own cardinal rule about eating upstairs couldn't be such a good thing either.

When Dad came back into the room, he had ice cream with him, but I could tell he was upset from the way he sat down, all hunched over and what not. I didn't really feel like watching anymore TV and headed on up to bed. I had nothing better to do anyways. I never did in this house.

* * *

Thursday morning I didn't have the radio show to worry about, so my whole focus was on Mallory. I was extremely worried about her. It's scary, thinking that she won't always be there, that she might actually…succumb. I couldn't even imagine, really, what it would be like then.

At school, I could hardly concentrate. Owen didn't text me of course, as he was rare to when he was with his sister. Still, I couldn't help myself, thinking of all the worse things that could be happening at that exact moment. And it was only Thursday. I had a whole other day to get through. The horror.

"Are you even paying attention?"

"Hmmm?" I glanced at the girl sitting in front of me. Our desks were all grouped together as we worked on a project. You know, to prepare us for life and stuff. Because so often in life you have to make a presentation on some long dead dictator with jerks that you wouldn't talk to in a million years. Or maybe that's just preparing us for more high school crap…

"I said that you need to cut those out," the girl said, nodding at the pictures in front of me. "You haven't done shit on this project."

Usually I would object, but she was probably right. I glanced around at the rest of my group, which consisted of some guy that was passed out with his head on his desk and another girl that was writing something on our poster board. Sigh.

"I've been, like, the only one doing any of the freaking work on this stupid project. God. It's not even fair. Do any of you even care? I swear, I should just tell Mr. Crost that none of you did any-"

"You're getting the fucking grade, aren't you?" The guy lifted up his head, frowning at her. "So shut the fuck up. Damn. Like any of us care what the hell you think. Newsflash, we don't."

"Go to Hell."

"Go suck a dick."

"Both of you just shut up, alright?" I was rare to join into an argument, but they were giving me a headache. "Kris, just go back to sleep. And Sarah, fine, don't do anymore work. We've got this."

Crisis adverted, I looked to the girl that had been writing down facts on the poster board. "Are you alright with that?"

She nodded, mumbling something under her breath about it being okay. I just sighed, going back to cutting out the pictures. I'm with Owen. High school's worthless.

It wasn't until lunch that I was bothered again. Of course it was by James. Who else pays any attention to me these days?

"Guess who you're going to be happy with?"

I hardly glanced at him as I headed over to the wall. "Not today, alright? I don't-"

"Come on. Come sit with us. I've got major news for you."

"James, I'm really not-"

"Come on."

More to get him off my back than anything else, I followed him over to their table where Kyle was already sitting. When he saw me, he immediately held out his unopened Doritos.

"Trade?"

I just groaned, taking a seat in front of him. "For what?"

"Cookies?"

"I don't have any." I gave him my lunch bag. "Take what you want."

"Wow." Kyle stared down into the paper sack. "All of it?"

"No, stupid," James said, frowning as he sat down next to me. "Where is everyone, anyways?"

Kyle took my Fritos before handing me my lunch back. "I dunno. Maybe they sat somewhere else."

I just sighed, taking a sip from my bottle of water while Kyle savagely went at the bag of Fritos, almost like he hadn't eaten in days. I just watched him distractedly, awaiting James' announcement.

"So anyways, James," I prodded.

"Oh. Right." He cleared his throat, looking around the table for a moment, probably out of habit. When he remembered that it was just the two of us with him, he began. "Annabel, you and I can now hangout without your boyfriend worrying."

"Why's that?"

"I now have a girlfriend."

I frowned. "And? That-"

"It's your little friend. That chick you hang around."

"Who?"

"Clarke."

"Wh-"

"So see? Now we can hangout and you can just say you're hanging with Clarke. So-"

"Clarke is with Rolly."

James blinked. "I don't know who that is, but-"

"Rolly. Clarke's boyfriend."

"_I_ am Clarke's boyfriend."

"Since when?"

"Try first period."

"James-"

"I don't know who Rolly is, but I know that he's not with Clarke now. I am. So why does it matter?"

"Rolly is Owen's, like, best friend."

James and Kyle snickered.

"What?"

"It's just," Kyle began, still laughing. "Guys don't have best friends."

"Yeah," James agreed. "Unless they're, like, fags or something."

"What do the two of you think you are? You're best friends."

"We are not!" James frowned at me. "I'd waste him in a heartbeat. No loyalty."

"No loyalty," Kyle agreed, going back to eating.

"Oh whatever. The point is that you dating Owen's friend's girlfriend is not going to put you in better standings with him. At all."

"So?"

"So knock it off."

"What? You want me to just freaking stop dating her?"

"Yes!"

"Annabel, I am shocked by your willingness to stop true love."

"You've been dating since first period. That's not even dating, really. That's just saying you're going on a date. God. She is not your girlfriend and you do not love her."

"But she could be and I could one day," James reasoned. "So why don't you chill out some, huh?"

"Owen-"

"Isn't here and doesn't know. Let's keep it that way, eh?" James nodded at something. "There they are, Kyle."

"Who?"

"The others."

Glancing over there, he said, "Oh. Maybe we sat in the wrong place."

"No," James said slowly. "They ditched us."

"Ditched us?"

"Ditched us."

"Those dirty scoundrels." When I stared at him, Kyle just shrugged. "I like pirates."

"Yo ho, yo ho," James said, still glaring over at the other table. "Too bad we don't have cannons. Then we could bomb them."

I frowned at him. "Kill them, you mean."

"Of course."

"What difference does it make if they're dead or alive and just aren't around?"

"Makes all the difference," James said, turning to look at me. "Those scallywags."

"Terra's just mad 'cause I wouldn't let her into my skivvies," Kyle said darkly.

"Oh come off it. You'd do anything to get laid. Right?" I blushed slightly, the words coming out of my mouth before I processed them. "I mean, that's what you guys said."

"I have gotten laid," Kyle told me, finishing the Fritos finally. "Me and that Cindy girl. I told them and then suddenly Terra was all over me."

"Terra's all over anyone." James made a face as his stomach growled. I just slid the rest of my lunch over to him, not particularly hungry to begin with. "Besides, you think that you and that Cindy chick are actually-"

"I'm very faithful," Kyle said, nodding his head. "We're dating. I'm not going to sleep with Terra. Especially if Cindy and I keep, you know, having sex."

Blinking, I glanced down at my phone, hoping that Owen had sent me a message. He hadn't.

"Shiver me timbers," Kyle said randomly, now also looking over at the table of their lost friends. "Even David's over there."

"David's a prick."

"And Nate! When did Nate get back?"

"Apparently today." James made a face. "Nate is our friend. Not theirs."

"Your best friend?" I poked fun, but he didn't respond.

"Nate!" James waved his hands towards the other table. "Over here!"

The guy they were speaking about glanced over at us, along with a whole bunch of other people. I blushed, not liking the attention James was bringing to us, but he didn't seem to mind any. Of course not.

"Was looking for you guys," the guy said once he made it over to our lunch table. "David said-"

"David's a prick."

"Is that, like, your catch phrase or something?" I asked James. Now that the oh holy Nate was here though, I wasn't important.

"Well, we can't all have your shinning personality," Nate said dryly, taking a seat next to Kyle. Nate was, in one word, tall. I had seen him around before, but never really paid him any mind. He left me alone and I left him alone. I was slowly learning that that was my own downfall, the main reason I had so few friends.

"How was suspension?" Kyle asked.

"It was suspension." Nate looked to me. "Your Armstrong's girlfriend."

I nodded slightly. "Yeah."

"He trades me shit," he told me simply.

"Like pot?"

"Shut up, Kyle," Nate said, not answering. I knew he meant CDs anyways, as that was all Owen really did was listen to music. "Can you talk about nothing else?"

"Of course he can," James said, still eating my lunch. "Tell him, Kyle. Tell him about Cindy."

"Oh. I had sex."

Nate blinked. "Really."

"Yeah."

"You like it?"

"Best minute of my life."

Groaning, James said, "So anyways, are you off punishment or whatever?"

Nate shrugged. "Do we have plans?"

"Tomorrow Kyle and I were going to drive down to the coast. Skip school for a few days. Get back around next Wednesday."

"You dicks wait until I just get back to school to-"

"You coming or not? We leave after school tomorrow."

Nate snorted. "What are you going to do on the coast?"

"My brother's staying down there right now," James told him simply. "Gonna go stay with him. Get away for a few days. You in or out?"

"Yeah, fine."

Kyle smiled some. "Now we're all back together."

"Stop being weird," James told him, no longer in the playing mood with his friend. I had a feeling that with Nate being back, Kyle would just become the third wheel again. "I'll pick you up after school at your place. Alright?"

Nodding, Nate looked back at Kyle. "So where's your chick at, huh? The one that was dumb enough to sleep with you?"

"She goes to another school," Kyle said. "But she's real. Trust me."

"Right. What does she look like?"

"She's real pretty," Kyle said, nodding his head. "Brown hair. Not that skinny, but not fat either. She wears too much makeup though."

"White girl?"

Kyle nodded.

"She's in luck. I'm in the business of white girls now," the other teen told him. "I'll have her stolen from you by the end of the week."

"Must be polar opposites," James muttered. "I'm swearing off white chicks. They're too high maintenance. No offence, Annabel."

I just made a face, not sure what to say.

"You're just all broken up about Rachel," Kyle told him, chuckling. To Nate, he said, "You couldn't take Cindy anyways. We're committed to each other."

"I'm sure. Besides, if she's honestly attracted to…that," he said, nodding at Kyle, "then I doubt she could handle this."

James snickered. "He's calling you ugly, Kyle. You hear that? You gonna take that?"

The other guy just shrugged. "You are kinda muscular, I suppose."

"Damn straight. I work the fuck out, unlike the two of you, who just sit around smoking all day."

"And drinking," Kyle said as the bell rang for lunch to end. "Of course, we're not self-absorbed like you are."

"You just can't handle my sexiness."

"I can't. It blinds me." With that, Kyle jumped up. "Come on, Annabel."

"Come on and what?"

"I'mma walk you to class."

I made a face. "Why?"

"It's on the way to my class."

"How do you-"

"We're friends. It's our job to know each other's schedule backwards and forwards."

"Uh, no, it's not."

"Come on."

Nate just flexed one of his arms, showing off his muscles. Then, to me, he said, "You'd want me, huh?"

"Uh, no," I said, not really comfortable with talking to him yet. So far, all I knew about him was that he was friends with James. Considering David once fell into that category this did not bode well for him.

"Is it because I'm black?"

"No, I-"

"He's just kidding." James didn't even look at me as he stood. "Come on then, Nate. Let Kyle walk her to class. Who gives a fuck?"

As the two of them walked away, Kyle said, "I'm glad we're friends."

I just patted him on the shoulder as I passed. "Yeah. Me too."

* * *

"You have no idea how indebted I am to you."

I just smiled at Ms. Armstrong. "It's no problem."

Looking to her son, she said, "I'm trusting the two of you to take care of the shop."

Owen, not glancing up, hit a button on the register, jumping when the drawer popped out at him. "So that's how that works."

"Stop messing around," I told him, frowning.

It was Friday and, no longer able to take being able to rely on her one other worker to keep the shop open, Owen's mother had turned to the two of us. You know, because we're clearly the most reliable duo to take over.

Teresa hesitated, standing before us. "Jonathan said that he could come in today, but I just thought-"

"We've got this, Mom," Owen said. "All we're doing is selling clothes. Not that hard."

"I suppose."

"And there's two of us. We won't mess nothing up."

"Anything up," I corrected him.

Making a face over at me, Owen said, "There can very easily just be one of us."

"Mmmm."

After his mother left, Owen and I started our long afternoon at the shop. For his part he just sat around, messing with the stereo his mother had behind the counter. She had instructed us to put it on soft, simple music, but Owen didn't seem to be following that order very well.

"Would you knock it off?"

"What?" He glanced up at me. "Hardly anyone ever comes in here anyways. We'll see probably twenty people tonight tops."

"Still. You're getting on my nerves."

He kept flipping through the songs on the CD that he had put in. "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"That's true." He glanced over at me. "Who was that boy you were talking to before we left school?"

"You know who Kyle is."

Owen shrugged. "Just forgot his name, I guess."

"Mmmm."

"What were you guys talking about anyways?"

"Nothing. He and James are just going down to the coast for a few days."

"Really now."

"Yeah. Them and one of their friends. You know him. You guys trade CDs or something."

"What's his name?"

"Nate something."

"Hmmm…"

"Really tall black guy? Always wears those sleeveless shirts and hangs around James a lot? He just got off suspension for something, but I'm not-"

"Oh, yeah. He's cool."

"Mmmm."

"I still don't like my girlfriend hanging out with him, but-"

"Bear."

"I don't."

"And you're never going to, so stop mentioning it all the time, huh?"

Owen just went back to the stereo. "This is one way to spend a Friday night, I suppose."

"What else would we have done but lay around in your bed?"

"Nothing, I guess." He glanced over at me. "Rolly and Clarke broke up again."

"So I've heard."

"Really? From who?"

"Uh…Clarke?"

"…Was that a question or-"

"No?"

"Was that?"

"Owen-"

"You're lying to me." He smiled. "You always do that when you lie."

"Do what?"

"You go up at the end of your sentence. And you talk in a real high pitch and then raise your voice at the end." He shook his head slightly, still just smirking at me. "What is it? Who told you?"

"Bear-"

"Just tell me."

"James."

He blinked. "Why-"

"James and Clarke are kind of, you know, dating now or whatever."

"What?"

"Just since, like, yesterday so-"

"Annabel," he scolded. "You can't be friends with the enemy. I mean, I hate that the two of you are friends to begin with, but now-"

"It's not like they're going to stay together long anyways," I defended. "God."

Our conversation ended abruptly as a customer came into the shop. The joy. Owen just went back to his music, apparently expecting me to handle customer relations. Given the mood he's been in recently, I found this for the best anyways.

"Work is boring," I told Owen sometime later. We were alone again and he had taken to laying on the ground behind the counter, so engrossed in his music that he was too far gone to help me do anything. Not that I needed much help. We weren't getting a lot of customers anyways.

"That's because you're spoiled."

"Bear."

He just laid there though, eyes closed, not moving anything other than his mouth. "You are. Don't deny it."

"I feel like we just have the same conversations over and over again."

"Probably."

I moaned from my spot on the stool behind the counter. "Remind me not to ever work."

"How you gonna pull that one off?"

"Kill my parents and take my inheritance."

"Hmmm. Your sister will get some of the money though."

I just shook my head slightly before resting it on the counter. "Dad's probably taken Kirsten out of the will by now. And when he finds out that Whitney has a boyfriend that she's been lying about, he might take her out too. Then it'll all go to me."

"They don't make enough for you to live off for the rest of your life, Bella."

"Yeah, but I'll use what money I do get to jumpstart your little musician career. Then you'll feel so indebted to be that you'll have to continue to support me."

"Hmmm. I like this plan."

"Me too."

"…In reality though, we both know you'd never go through with it."

"Oh and you would? Mr. Honesty?" I snorted. "I could imagine the cops questioning you. You'd just admit to everything right then and there."

"I would."

"So I guess we can't murder my parents."

He laughed slightly. "I guess not."

* * *

"I like him, Annabel. Like, a lot."

I just stared at Clarke. "Are you sure we're talking about the same guy?"

"Yes, Annabel."

After we closed shop for the night, Owen headed back home to sleep some and work on his playlist for Sunday. He offered me a chance to go, but I declined, as I had plans with Clarke. He of course didn't like this, given the fact that Rolly and Clarke are now through. I then reminded him of all the times that I got stuck hanging out with him and Rolly even though they were broken up and he gave in. I think it was more from the fact he was too tired to fight than anything else.

In short, I had met Clarke at World of Waffles to discuss her new potential boyfriend. Yeah. You know, 'cause when you say you'll go out on a date with someone for the first time only the day before, that makes you boyfriend and girlfriend. In high school politics anyways.

"Clarke-"

"I just think I'm really finally done with Rolly."

"You always think that, but you never are."

"This time's different."

"Why?"

"Because, it just…it wasn't a fight this time." She wasn't looking at me now, instead focusing on her plate of pancakes. I swear, if she really is done with Rolly, then we are establishing a new eating place. I am so tired of this one. "We were just…fine. Not happy with each other, but not fighting either. We were…what's the word…"

"Content?"

"Yeah, I guess." She shrugged slightly. "It just wasn't fun anymore, you know? We have fun when we're fighting, when we're breaking up and stuff. When we're not doing that, we just get…stagnant."

"Maybe it's for the better, you know? It's not like you and Rolly were really bringing out the better in each other."

She gave me a look before shaking her head, probably agreeing with me. "It wasn't like that at first."

"It never is."

She watched me for a moment, making me uncomfortable. I took a sip of water to distract myself.

"It's like you and Owen never fight."

"Oh, no we fight," I assured her enthusiastically. "A lot."

"You guys bicker. You don't fight."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. I've been around you when you're in an argument. He just gives into you."

"That's-"

"He's, like, always afraid that you're going to break up with him. So, yeah, he argues. He's Owen. But he just gives up after awhile, not wanting to make you upset."

"He does not."

She shrugged. "Rolly says that he thinks that you're getting bored with him. Or annoyed. Something. I can't remember what word he used."

"I'm not though. Bored or whatever."

"He's weird, Owen," she said offhandedly. "I mean, no offense or anything."

Yeah, because that was clearly an unoffendable statement.

"What do you mean?"

"He just…I don't know. He's off-putting. And awkward."

"He just doesn't like you," I said defensively. She frowned that.

"What?"

"Well, he likes you, I guess. Just not-"

"That idiot. He's the freak. How can he-"

"Owen is not a freak."

"Oh, Annabel, I didn't mean-"

"He's not," I said. "He's just…different."

"And what does different mean? He's a freak, admit it."

I was mad at her now, but I just looked down at my plate, thinking. "He's awkward at times, sure, but he means well. And he's very thoughtful."

"Uh-huh."

"He is. You know that he is."

"I'm not saying he's not."

"You don't even get it."

"Annabel, I'm not saying you shouldn't be with him. I think that he likes you. Like a lot." She looked off for a moment. "Then again, I'm pretty sure he'd like any girl that liked him."

"Shut up."

"He would."

"Clarke-"

"Think about it, Annabel. What does he really like about you? You're way hotter than him, you're not a dude, and you're actually interested in him." She snickered. "You're just one of his porn fantasies come true."

I knew she was just riling me up, but it did bother me somewhat. Though I don't like to admit it, like aloud, I knew that Owen wasn't that great looking. And yeah, he is kind of weird. …Okay, very weird. It's just…I always look passed that. Because he helped me through all of that stuff the previous year with Cash and Sophie. They were all right, of course, that I could get a guy that's more on my level, but I didn't want to. Owen was different.

…But I am to him? Or am I just some interchangeable pretty girl? Like if Clarke was interested in him, couldn't he just transfer everything he got from me to her? It seemed pretty plausible. A lot more plausible than he liking me for me. My whole life was mostly interchange able.

Wasn't it?

* * *

"What are you doing here?"

Whitney just frowned at me. "What? Can I not come home sometimes?"

I just continued into the house. "That's not what I meant. Besides, since you're here, can I have my car back?"

Whitney just stood by the entranceway closet, digging through it for something. "Mom's not well, Annabel."

I frowned, having planned on just walking by her. That made me stop though.

"Yeah, I know."

"I think…I think I might be spending some more time here," she told me, pulling out a pair of boots from the closet finally. They were Kirsten's, but she and Kirsten wore the same size. I figured that's why she was really over. "You know, to check on her."

I frowned at the way she said that. "I could do that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Then why aren't you?"

Pausing, I thought before shaking my head and continuing up the stairs." You and Kirsten don't think I do anything, do you?"

"And what proof is there of otherwise?"

I didn't care to fight with her, so I just headed to my own bedroom. Mom was fine. Depressed, but fine. Dad said so. And my dad had never steered me wrong before.

Once in my room, I quickly changed for the night before getting into bed and pulling out my phone. Owen answered on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Am I interchangeable?"

"…With?"

"Someone else."

"…Is this about your position at the store?"

That made me frown. "What position?"

"I figured, you know, since you did so well today, that you could-"

"Owen."

"It's just a suggestion. I mean, what else are you going to do?"

Yeah, because hearing that made me feel so much better.

"That's not what I meant anyways, Bear."

"Oh. Then, uh, what did you want? 'cause I was about to go to bed."

"It's stupid," I told him in advance in hopes that he would reiterate this time later in the conversation. "Clarke told me that you only like me because, you know, I like you or whatever."

"Well, that's not totally untrue."

"What?"

"Annabel, I mean, come on." I heard him close something, probably the fridge. He was always eating before he went to bed. "I liked you in the beginning because you were hot. Then I got to know you and liked you more. And the fact that you like me back? Yeah, that makes me like you even more. It all factors in."

"So…if someone else that was hot liked you back, you'd leave me for them."

"Are they hotter than you?"

"Owen-"

"You're forgetting, Annabel," he began for real this time, "that I also said I liked you more when I got to know you. I don't think there is someone else whose personality I like more than yours."

"Oh, whatever."

"There isn't." He paused for a moment. "Is that what you called for then? An ego stroke?"

"No," I said, frowning in the darkness of my own bedroom. "I called to tell you goodnight."

"Oh. Well, goodnight then."

"Bear."

"I'm just tired, okay? I haven't slept since-"

"Goodnight then."

"Don't be like that."

"Like what?"

"All…bratty. I offered for you to come over here and nap with me, but you said no. That's your fault."

Letting out a long breath, I finally said, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"I actually have real work tomorrow. So order a pizza, huh?"

"I don't want to."

"Then I just might have to bring one over without you ordering."

"Is that a threat?"

"Depends on how you look at it. I think bodily harm has to come from a threat."

"I don't think so," I said, smiling slightly now. "Like, I could threaten to break up with you. That's a threat."

"Mmmm. What would be the reason?"

"Because you only like me because I like you."

"What is this? Junior high stuff?"

"Oh, Owen, like you ever had a girlfriend in junior high."

"Funny," he said dryly. "Besides, Annabel, just because those are the main three reasons I like you doesn't mean they're the three main ones why I love you."

"Do you though?"

"Very much so." I heard something else close and figured it was his bedroom door this time. "Do you love me?"

"Kind of."

"Annabel-"

"I love you too, Bear. Duh."

He chuckled slightly. "Yeah. Duh."


	6. Chapter 6

Comfort

Chapter 6

"It's like they're having a funeral for her, but she's not even dead yet."

I just kept stroking Owen's head, which was resting in my lap as he cried. He wasn't sobbing or anything, but I knew he was crying. When he got very upset, angry or otherwise, his eyes always kind of watered. I think it was more of his inability to cope with what he was feeling than that he was actually crying. Right now though, there were definite tears falling and I was getting to see my boyfriend cry for the first time ever.

"Why do they have to do this? Today? Why can't they all just go home?"

We were in my bedroom, hiding out from Owen's incoming family from his mother's side. They were all over at his house, seeing his sister for what I'm sure they thought would be the last time. Owen wanted no part of it and hadn't gone near the house, instead choosing to be with me. What else was new?

"It's okay, Bear," I comforted him. "It'll be okay."

"How? How? How can it be okay when my sister's going to die, Annabel?"

And she was. It was over. It was finally all over. And yet here her brother was, with me, not anywhere near her. It would have made me feel bad, had it not been for Owen's benefit that he was there instead of my own.

"Owen…"

"I don't wanna go home," he whined, eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Ever again."

Leaned back against my bed, I sighed from my spot on the floor. So this is it then. This is really it.

"That's your phone, Bear," I whispered gently to him when it rang. He didn't move from his spot. "Here."

I reached down, pulling it from his pocket. Reading the ID, I said, "It's your mom."

"I don't care."

"Owen, she's worried, I'm sure."

"I don't care."

"Do you want me to-"

"No."

I sat the phone back to the side. "Alright."

"…We should go."

"To your house or-"

"No." He sat up now, moving to sit on his knees, staring down at me. "We should just go. Me and you."

"Go where?"

"Somewhere else. Far away from here."

"Owen-"

His face was all red, his eyes bloodshot. He hadn't slept for two days, I was pretty sure.

"I mean, we've talked about it," he went on. "And what's here for us? Nothing. There' s nothing here. Nothing I won't have somewhere else. Something I won't have anywhere else. I hate it here. I hate Lakeview. I hate the whole fucking north. Nothing good happened here. It's cold, people are assholes, and everything's bleak. I want to go home. Back to Arizona. And I want to take you with me."

I just stared at him, trying to figure out if he was serious. He didn't seem to be lying. "Owen, we can't. You know that."

"Yes, we can. You're eighteen. You can go wherever the hell you want. And I'm not a freaking boy, Annabel. I'm a man. I can go home. I can go back to Arizona if I want."

"You didn't like it there either."

"I liked it better than here! This place sucks! Everything about here sucks. I hate it here. I hate everyone and everything. Everyone is stupid and I hate them all." His green, wild eye locked with mine. "Except for you. You don't belong here. Lakeview's…bitter. You're not. I want you to come with me, Annabel."

"You can't run from your problems, Owen."

"What do you think coming here was?"

"Owen, I have to graduate."

"Why? Huh? Why do you need to graduate?"

"To go to college."

"For what?"

"To get a good job."

"Why? Huh?"

"Because, Owen, that's what people do. That's how people take care of their families. It's just…what you do."

"If it's what everyone does, Annabel, then what's the chance of it working out for you, huh? All these people in this world and you think you're going to get a good job?" He shook his head at me. "This world isn't fair. It's not fucking fair. This? This isn't real. This can't be real. It's bullshit is what it is. I'm going home, back to my real home, and you're going to come with me."

"Owen-"

"We don't need college or good jobs or any of that, Annabel. Not if we love each other. And that's what we do, love each other." He was no longer crying, now angry instead of sad. "I have family there too. My grandma and aunts and uncles. We won't be alone. You'll like them. You like me. You love me."

"I do," I said slowly.

"So see? Everything will be alright." He smiled then, but it looked more deranged than anything. "You're eighteen and I'll be eighteen in a few days. We can get married."

That made me choke. No, really. "Owen-"

"So see?" He nodded slightly, no longer focusing on me. "I don't need them. They can all go to hell. All of them. Mom, Cam, Mal-" He stopped himself. "All of them."

It was silent for a minute as we watched each other. I didn't know what to do for him, I honestly didn't. But the thought of marrying him? And running away? Just…no. I knew he wasn't thinking and that he was just upset, but I also knew that Owen did dumb things he when he was angry or sad. He was very easily persuaded into depression as well. His family's focus on Mallory left him to the wolves. Or, well, me in this case.

"We can't, Owen," I finally got out.

"Why not?"

"Because we just can't. It's not something we can do, Bear, run off and get married."

He shook his head. "We don't have to get married, Annabel. That was just…if you don't…no. We don't have to."

"I don't want to go, Owen."

"To Arizona?" He rolled his shoulders. "Where do you want to go then?"

"I don't want to go anywhere," I clarified softly. "With you."

His anger quickly replaced his false hope. "I thought that you said you loved me?"

"I do, Owen, I just-"

"I have to go." He pushed up, not looking at me again. He did sniffle though.

"No, Owen, you-"

"I can't believe that you let me-"

"It's because I love you, Owen," I said hurriedly as I stood to grab his arm. "Don't you get that? If we ran off and did something stupid, what would that prove? Or if we left and something happened to Mallory while we were gone…I couldn't have that on my head."

He took in a breath before saying, "That wouldn't be on you."

"You'd hold it against me. The more time passed, the more you'd resent me for it." I pulled on his arm, but he wouldn't turn to face me. "And I'm not ready to be your wife, Owen. Or your live-in girlfriend or whatever. I'm not ready to leave home. I don't want to leave home. I have a nice life. A really nice life. And I know yours seems like shit right now, because it mostly is, just know that it can't always be like that. The sun doesn't shine on you everyday, but it doesn't rain on you either."

"Why don't you want to marry me?" He turned around to face me now, slipping his arm from my grasp.

Because we're eighteen. Because he only wanted to get married because his sister was dying and he wanted someone to be there for him. Because my dad would kill me and then kill Kirsten for influencing me. Because my mother would die of a heart attack. Because we would be ruining our lives. Because I've only known him a little over a year and only been dating him an even shorter amount of time. Because, because, because.

"Because what would marriage do, Owen? What would it change between us?"

"It would be…a commitment. That you wouldn't be going anywhere."

I wanted to tell him that Mallory isn't choosing to go anywhere, that this isn't up to her or anyone else. That we'd all vote for her to stay, but our votes don't count here. Not in God's jurisdiction.

"Rings will prove that? A vow in front of a justice of the peace? Not even rings. We can't even afford rings." I looked him dead in the eye. "Owen Armstrong, I don't know what to do to fix your sister. I don't know how to make you realize that you can't just runaway from things. I don't know how to get your mother to stop coming down on you about everything. I do know, though, that I love you. More than I've ever loved a boyfriend. And if it's a pledge you want, then I pledge it. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring or what we'll feel even two hours from now, but I know that right now I love you and I plan to continue loving you.

"But we're young, Bear. Very young. And I don't know why bad things happen and I can't stop Mallory from dying, but we can't just go off and get married. We can't runaway together. It sounds tempting, but it won't be. God, we can hardly get through a school day without fighting. You know that? I'm not ready to be a wife, you're not ready to be a husband, and we'd both fail at all those things pertain." I put my hands on his chest, staring up at him. "It's bad right now. You're life fucking sucks. And I can't fix it. I hate not being able to fix it. And it might get worse, I don't know, but I do know that we can't leave. I can't at least. And I'd hope that you realize how much you mean to your sister and that no matter how hard it is for you right now, it's twenty times as hard for her. She needs you a lot more than we need each other. And I know that if you really thought about it, deep down, past all your teenage boy horniness, you love her a lot more than you love me. Because that's how it's supposed to be."

He didn't respond, but that was for the best. I've found that when people make quick replies, they didn't really take in what you were saying. Instead Owen just reached one hand up, cupping it over my hands on his chest, staring at me. I knew that I had hurt him, that even though it had been a quick response to his emotions, Owen would have married me. He really would have. And it'd have been one of the biggest mistakes of his life, right next to running off and letting his sister pass on without him.

Leaning forward, I rested my head against his chest, against our hands, letting out a soft moan. It was hard, taking care of someone else. I don't know how Owen does it with me, but I don't envy it for a second.

* * *

"He asked you to what?"

I shrugged slightly. "You know how weird he is."

"That's not weird, Annabel. The way you describe it, it sounds psychotic."

"Whitney."

She just sighed, shifting the couch pillow under her arms as she sat cross-legged on the couch, watching me. I had come over to her apartment, needing to talk to her in person about this.

"It does, Annabel." She whistled. "God. Dad would, like, freaking crown me queen of the world. His one daughter that didn't run off with a guy."

"That he knows of."

I got a look sent my way. "I told you, Annabel, as soon as I deem it serious enough, I will tell them."

I didn't really care about her and her boyfriend anyways. Not really. Only mine.

"I just don't want Owen to do something stupid, you know?" I stared at her, taking in her haunting looks. She actually looked excited today though I was pretty sure it wasn't due to my arrival. No, I'm about certain on that.

"Like get married to his girlfriend of a few months?"

I just blinked. "He…one time, he wrote me this letter and in the letter he talked about how, back when they lived in Arizona, he tried to kill himself or something, but couldn't go through with it and that he was glad because now he got to be with me and that I was the best thing that ever happened to him."

"See? Psycho."

"Whit-"

"I'm serious this time," she said, her face taking on a less jolly expression. "Was he serious?"

I nodded slightly. "He told me about it. About how he hated Arizona and everything. Now though, he told me that he hates it here and wants to go back, about how the north sucks or something."

"Annabel," she said slowly, "if you honestly think that he's going to hurt himself, it's not me you need to be talking to. It's his mother or a counselor at school."

"You don't get it."

"No, I get that you're trying to fix everything on your own, but that's not always the right way to go."

"Owen's not like that anymore," I said. "He has-"

"You," she said dryly. "He has you. Well, guess what, Annabel, that's not your job. You're not someone's girlfriend to keep them from feeling bad about themselves. That's not your role. And I'm not going to let you play that, Anna-"

"I'm not playing anything! You just don't get it. You never get anything."

She sighed loudly, shutting her eyes for a few moments before opening them again to stare at me. "I've never really told you, Annabel, but I've always thought something was off about Owen."

"What?"

"It's just his whole demeanor. He-"

"You're lying," I accused. "You've always liked Owen."

"I do like him. I like that he loves you and wants to do things for you. And he's a nice guy too. But I've always thought-"

"Shut up."

"I'm not the only one," she told me. "Ask Mom and Dad. They just never said anything, nothing directly. It's obvious to anyone."

"It is not!" I frowned. "I mean, there's nothing-"

"Annabel, tell me that you've never thought there was something wrong with him."

"There's something wrong with everyone," I told her sharply. "All of us."

"Yeah, there is," she agreed softly. "But if this is what's wrong with him, I think it's time for you to cut your losses. Because guys like that only think about just hurting themselves for so long. Eventually they-"

"He's not thinking about that anymore! God, you're blowing everything up. I hate how you do this."

"I'm trying to be a good older sister, Annabel," she told me, still just watching me. "And you're only so defensive because you know I'm right. Owen's…weird. He's always been weird. From what you've told me about his mother, she is too. That's probably where he gets it."

I didn't give her a smile. Not even a tiny one.

"But I don't like the way your relationship is going," she continued. "I think that a lot is going on between him and his family right now and it would be best if you just weren't in the mix. You're a senior in high school. You shouldn't be dealing with this. I know it hurts like a bitch, but some friends, some boyfriends, aren't worth it. I'm sorry, Annabel. I am. You can't save everyone. Sometimes you just have to settle with saving yourself."

She didn't get it. She would never get. She didn't get what it was like to have one person, one friend, that you could trust with your life. And I didn't either for a long time. Then I lost Sophie, which made me lose everyone else. Now I have Owen and I'm not losing him too. Not when he needs me the most.

"Alright, Whit, I got it. Took forever to find- Oh. Hi. Didn't know you'd have company."

Whitney and I both looked up as the door opened. She frowned slightly before sighing.

"Thanks," she told the guy as he came over, handing off a box to her. "You got all the stuff?"

"Mmmhmm." He walked off towards the kitchen area.

"Annabel, this is Lucas," Whitney said, getting up to put the box of whatever away. "Luke, this is my little sister."

"Hey," he called from the kitchen where he was now rummaging through the fridge.

"Hi."

When Whitney got back to me, she just sat down on the couch, sighing. "Annabel, I'm sorry about Owen's sister. I am. But just…can't the two of you just, you know, take break? Or something?"

I really didn't want to discuss this much less in front of her kinda boyfriend. Blushing as he came back into the room, I started to tell Whitney that I would just head home and think about it on my own. Then my phone had to go and ring.

"It's Owen," I said, standing before heading towards the door. "I'll see you later, Whitney." Over my shoulder, I called, "It was nice meeting you, Lucas."

He called something back at me, but I was already out the door. Answering the phone as I headed out of the apartment building, I was ready to hear Owen apologizing for the way he had been acting and how it was just because of everything going on with Mallory.

Instead, all he said is, "I need you over here. Now."

I sighed slightly. "Owen, your whole family is over there. I don't-"

"I don't care. Besides, Mal asked for you."

"For me?"

"Mmmhmm." He cleared his throat, no doubt thinking of how he cried in front of me that morning. "She wants to talk to you, she said. Something important."

"I'm at Whitney's right now," I told him. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay." He cleared his throat once again. "Uh…Annabel?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think…after you and her talk or whatever, we can? Alone? I think we-"

"Of course, Bear. Just let me get over there, huh?"

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye."

On the car ride back to Lakeview I tried to listen to music, but I couldn't. Instead I just drove in silence, lost in my own thoughts. I couldn't imagine what would happen to Owen when…if Mallory did die. It's a horrible thing to think about. I didn't like thinking about it at all. I liked Mallory. A lot. And it scared me, what Owen would do if… I mean, he can hardly contain himself from just the thought of it happening. If it really did happen, I don't know what I'd do.

* * *

It was awkward, for me at least, walking into Owen's house. He had been waiting outside for me when I showed up. We had hugged, but not really said anything to each other. He just headed inside, leading me by hand behind him. There weren't a lot of people in the house, just two guys sitting on the couch with a woman I had never seen in between them. They watched us as we walked by, but Owen ignored them. His mother was in the kitchen along with that Cam woman, another lady in there as well. His mom called out to us, but Owen ignored her, heading up the stairs and to his sister's room.

Letting go of my hand once we were at his sister's door, Owen glanced at me. "She got upset with Cam, right before you got here. Kicked her out of her room."

"Why?"

"I dunno."

I glanced at him. "Are you sure that I should-"

"Yeah." He reached out to knock on the door, though he just opened it without waiting for Mallory to say anything. Last time I had seen her, she'd been too weak to call out anyways,

"It's Annabel, Mallory," Owen said, walking into her room. She was sitting up in bed, looking slightly better than she had the day before, when I had last seen her. That had just been a glance though. Maybe I was just remembering wrong. "She-"

"Leave, Owen," she said, not looking at him, only me. "You can stay, Annabel."

Owen let out a long sigh before turning to leave me in the room. It was a sure sign of how badly off they must believe Mallory is for him to just walk away without complaint. Still, I watched him go for a moment before moving to go sit down in Mallory's desk chair. It had been drug up close to her bed, someone else obviously having taken that position before me.

Mallory smiled at me the second I looked back at her, relaxing some now that I was with her. "I hate that they're all over here."

I smiled back at her, reaching out to stroke her arm. "They just love you."

"It's annoying."

"I know, but you just have to put up with it."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, Mallory slumped back against her pillows while I looked on. Eventually she spoke though.

"Can you keep a secret?"

I frowned, looking at her. "What is it?"

"Can you?"

I hesitated before saying, "Yes. I can. What?"

She jerked her head towards her dresser. "It's in the top right drawer."

Getting up I went over to her dresser, curious as to what she could be talking about. Opening the drawer, I found it empty except for a necklace. It had a little locket attached to it in the shape of a heart.

"What's this?" I asked her.

"_He_ gave it to me."

Frowning, I turned to look at her. "Who?"

She blushed slightly, which wasn't hard considering she was so pale. "Darien."

"Darien huh?" Going back over to her bedside, I took my seat once more, the locket in my hand. "And why is this Darien such a secret?"

She groaned. "Because Cam told me that I don't need to be worrying about boys right now. She's not much fun these days. She's just like Mom. She thinks that I should just lay around all day until I die."

"Mallory-"

"That's what they think! They have to. That's why they're always acting this way." She let out a long breath before reaching up to rub the top of her shaved head. "But if he can like me, even like this, then clearly we belong together, right? And I mean, he's not ugly like Owen, so-"

"Knock it off."

She giggled some, but that just made her cough. When she got her breath back, she said, "I like him. A lot. And he likes me."

"Where did you meet him?"

"He works at the movie theater. Cam and Owen take me there a lot now. And sometimes Mom just drops me off, but I don't see a movie. Me and him hangout in the arcade. Just when I'm well enough."

"Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" I opened the locket, but it was empty. "Mal?"

"I don't know. Every time I see you, you're either with Owen or something."

I smiled at her. "Tell me what Darien looks like."

"I have a picture," she said, sitting up slightly to grab her cell phone off her bedside table. "And he goes to the high school. He's a sophomore."

"Ooh." I smiled as she flipped through her phone. "When's the last time you saw him?"

"Not for a few weeks," she admitted. "We text when I can. I just…I don't know."

I took the phone when she passed it to me, glancing down at the screen. I stared at his face, taking in his acne and brown eyes, trying to figure out if I knew him. I couldn't place the kid though and gave her the phone back.

"He's cute," I told her.

"Thanks!" She took the phone back before settling into her bed once more. "I think he likes me a lot. You know? He gave me that, the locket."

"Why isn't there anything in it?"

She giggled softly, but I could tell she was fading, no doubt about to go back to sleep. "He said once I feel better, we'll take a picture together. I can put that in there."

"That'll be nice."

"A lot nicer than those stupid rings my brother makes you wear around your neck."

My hand instinctively came up to hold the rings that dangled down. "You think?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Because I think you're just mad at your brother right now for some reason."

"Mad?" She was laying down now, her eyes closed.

"Yeah, mad."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure."

She let out a long breath. "Owen's been…weird."

"Owen's always weird."

"You're the one that loves him."

I reached over, gently poking her in the stomach. "I am, but you love him too."

"Only a little."

"A little is enough."

She smiled again. "Owen's not been talking to me recently."

"I think he's just scared, Mal."

"Why?" She snorted now, shaking her head slightly. "He's not the one that's going to die."

"Hey." I frowned at her. "Neither are you."

"I'm not a little kid, Annabel." She opened her eyes just to lock them with mine. "I know that I'm dying. That's why they're all here. It's okay. I don't think it'll be that bad."

"Mal-"

"Can you keep that a secret too?" She shut her eyes again. "That's I'm not afraid to die? They all think they should keep it from me, but I know. I'm sick. But it's okay, because I don't…I'm not…afraid. People die everyday. Why should I be any different?"

I just stroked her arm, not speaking as she fell asleep. But Mallory was different. She was someone _I knew_. Yeah, people die everyday, but not people that I know. I had never really had someone so close to me die. My grandparents, sure, but I didn't know any of them well. All I had was my family. And Owen. And his sister too, in a way. For all I'm afraid of Owen's reaction to her death, I'm also scared of what death will do to me. I had seen what a depression it could put my mother in and never wanted to find out if I had inherited that.

"It'll be okay, Mal," I whispered to the sleeping girl as I went to put her secret locket back before heading to the door. "It just has to be."

* * *

"I'm sorry if I freaked you out this morning."

I leaned into Owen, sighing slightly. "It's okay."

"I just…never mind."

Looking up at him, I smiled slightly. "Cheer up, Bear. It's Saturday. That means tomorrow is the show. Aren't you excited?"

He shrugged, looking off. "I guess so."

We were sitting out on my back porch, watching the sun go down. Owen had wanted to go out to eat after we left his house, but at the last minute he decided that we could just go to my house, that he wasn't that hungry anyways. If the rest of the day hadn't been enough of an indicator, the fact that Owen actually wasn't hungry for once proved that he really was down.

"If it makes you feel any better, I defended your honor today."

"Oh yeah?"

"Multiple times actually."

"Mmmm." He glanced at the pool, sighing slightly.

"What, Bear? Tell me."

"I just feel weird, that's all."

"It's okay." Reaching up, I ran a hand through his hair. "You just need a haircut is all."

"Ha ha."

"I like it better shaved."

He nodded. "I know."

He still wouldn't look at me and it was kind of bothering me. I had seen Mallory today. She wasn't well, but she wasn't horrible either. Why couldn't he just put her out of his mind for a little while and focus on me? I know it was selfish to think that way, but I couldn't help it.

"Bear…" I moved my hand to his cheek now, cupping it. When he turned to look at me, I leaned up and kissed his lips gently. "Do you want to go home?"

"No."

"Then what do you want me to do?"

"Just…can we not right now?" He shifted away from me slightly. "Sorry."

I frowned. "This morning all you wanted to do was be close."

"Yeah, well, this morning I thought that you loved me."

"Excuse me?"

He glanced up at the sky, no longer wanting to even see me I guess. "It just bothers me, Annabel, that I was ready to leave behind everything for you and you not only couldn't do the same for me, but also had to act all high and mighty about it."

"What?"

"I've just been replaying it all in my mind is all." He glanced at me, but it was quick, his eyes swiftly going back up to the sky. "You just think it was some crazy break from reality that made me say that. It wasn't. I'd runaway with you in a heartbeat."

"Owen, you're just upset about-"

"Stop saying that. That's not why."

"Oh yeah? Because I don't remember you being so obsessed with me before Mallory got sick."

"I'm not obsessed with you. At least not the way you say it." He shook his head slightly. "You're just so…conceited."

"Now you're pushing it."

"What? I can't tell the truth anymore?"

I shoved his shoulder slightly. "Knock it off."

"Why don't you?"

"What do you want me to say, Owen? That yes, I'll marry you? Fine. Let's go get married. Happy? God."

He shook his head. "You don't get it."

That was exactly what I told Whitney. She didn't get it. But if I didn't get it either, then who did? Who got Owen? Not me, not anyone.

When I laughed slightly, Owen's turned his eyes fully on me finally.

"What? Why are you laughing?"

"It's just…" It was my turn to look away. "Whitney thinks that we should take a break."

"A break."

"Yeah. Until Mallory gets better or whatever. So that you can, you know, focus on that." Saying it aloud to him it sort of made sense. A little at least. If you took emotion out of it, then it made sense. But a lot of things made sense without emotions. "Instead of me. Us."

His face went slack. "And? So what? Who cares what she thinks?"

"Owen-"

"Is that what you want, Annabel? Huh?" He jumped up then. "You want to take a break?"

"Owen, it's not like that. You just were acting…." I shook my head, staring at the ground now. "This morning, you were so upset. And when you get like that, I just… You need to talk to someone, Owen. It shouldn't be so up and down all the time."

"I talk to you. That's what I did today. Talk to you. And now it's all okay."

I let out a long breath. "I love you, Owen. I just want you to be okay."

"And what? You think like Whitney? That we should just take a break or whatever?"

"Kind of. I guess. I don't know." I stood too, but I still couldn't look at him. "I have stuff going on too, with my family. And I know that it's hard, balancing what's going on wit my mom and what's going on with you. Isn't it hard for you? They should be more important to you than me. Mallory needs you. She told me that you won't even talk to her. I know that you're hurting right now, but-"

"You don't know anything, Annabel. You never have. All you do is tell me one thing and then later take it back and say a complete other." He spit on the ground before turning and heading towards the gate. "You want a break? Fine. Take a freaking break. I don't need you. I went seventeen years with out you. And I can go the rest of 'em without you too."

"Owen-"

"I don't know why I ever even liked you. You're a bitch."

I couldn't stop him after that. I didn't want to. Once again, everything got screwed up. And why? Because I told the truth? Isn't that what Owen always says he wants? The truth? He says I say one thing but then say another. I think he does too. I think everyone does.

"What's wrong with you?"

I ignored my father as I rushed through the living room and up to my bedroom. Once there, I slammed the door behind me, not caring if it woke my sleeping mother. Good if it did. She needed a wake up call. Life sucks. She can get the hell over it.

"I hate him," I growled in the darkness of my room as I snatched the chain off my neck, breaking the clasp no doubt. I did too at that the moment. All I ever did for Owen was for the better of him. I tried to take care of him. I really did. I looked out for him. Did he not realize what I'd given up to be his friend? To be his girlfriend? The ribbings I got for it?

"Fuck then," I told myself, finding resolve in that. He could go through everything alone, all by himself. See how much he likes being alone. I could do better than him. At least that's what everyone always told me. And they were probably right. What had Owen done for me other than complicate my life?

Throwing the chain and rings across the room, I took little satisfaction in the bang they made against my door. A break. A lot of people take breaks. Why did Owen have to be such a fucking drama queen about everything?

I flung myself down on my bed then, crossing my arms above my head as I laid face down. Maybe I would suffocate to death. Would Owen feel bad then, if I was dead? Yeah, he would. He called me a bitch, but I was the furthest thing from it. I was only trying to help. So what, I didn't want to get married at eight-freaking-teen? Big deal! Who did? Who the heck did?

I knew it was over then, as I started crying into my pillow. All the other times Owen and I fought, all the other times I had thought I was through with him, there had been no tears. I only ever cried when something ended. I hate endings. Especially bad ones.

* * *

Someone was stroking my hair. I could feel it, even in my dream. When I opened my eyes, I found that it was my mother, sitting on the edge of my bed, her hand gently caressing my hair.

Glancing at the clock I found that it was ten in the morning. On a Sunday. That was the latest I had woken up on a Sunday in nearly a year. Even when I was in New York with Kirsten I still woke up early, out of habit. I had stayed up most of the night crying though, so I guess my body just gave out.

"Mom?" I mumbled, rolling onto my side as she retracted her hand.

"Hmmm?"

"I think…I think Owen and I broke up."

"I figured." She looked horrible, overly tired even though she slept nearly all day every day. Her hair was a mess and it looked like she had slept in her clothes. Still, I was just glad to see her out of her bedroom. "You were crying the whole night."

"He asked me to runaway with him."

"I know. Whitney called."

I frowned. "What?"

"She was just worried about you, honey. And him."

I closed my eyes as they felt puffy and raw. "I don't know what to do for him anymore."

"Sometimes there's nothing you can do, sweetheart. What's going on with Owen isn't either of your faults, but it's not going to stop. And it's not fair for you to have to give up your senior year, your last year in high school, to him. It hurts, letting go, but sometimes things can't be fixed."

"I just…I liked him, Mom. A lot more than I've liked any other guy, like, ever."

"I know. You loved him."

"I did."

"You're going away in less than a year now anyways, Annabel." She smiled at me, but she didn't seem to see me. "I had a boyfriend for a long time, through junior high and high school. But when I went away to college we just… It would have been better, had I listened to everyone else, about how things change. But I didn't. And it hurt for a long time. Then I met your dad."

I'd heard that part of the story before I did not want to hear it again. "He called me a bitch."

"What?"

"Owen. He said that he didn't know why he ever liked me and that I was a bitch. I didn't mean to be, Mom. I just wanted to help him."

"I know. And he knows that too. He's just going through a lot."

"And I'm not? Huh? I don't get that excuse!" I opened my eyes again, staring at her face. "He always acts like he's giving things up for me, but I've given up so much more for him. I liked James, Mom. A lot. And now Clarke's dating him. I like Kyle too. But he won't even let me be friends with them."

She paused as this was new information to her. I could tell that she had no idea who I was talking about, but I didn't hold it against her. She was going through her own shit too, I guess.

"Then maybe it's for the best, Annabel," she said finally. "Who wants to be tied down so young? And if you like these boys, then go for it. You're young. Have fun. Don't worry about Owen."

"I can't help it."

"I know." She laughed slightly. "He'll be okay. And if he's not, that's not your fault. You can never blame yourself for what others do or what happens in their lives. Owen's a sweet boy, but he clearly has emotional problems. I know you feel like you don't have a lot of friends right now, but what about those boys you just mentioned? Maybe they're better for you than Owen. Now anyways."

I thought about that note Owen gave me, about how he thought that I was he saving grace. If I wasn't there to save him, who would be?

"Do you think…" I looked off. "Do you think he really hates me, Mom?"

"No, I don't."

"I don't hate him either. Not really."

"I know sweetheart."

"Maybe…maybe after some time, we can try again."

"Of course."

I wanted her to lay down with me so that I could cuddle into her, but I knew that she was exerting a lot of energy, just being there for me the way she was at the moment. I couldn't help it as I started crying again. Mom just made a slight noise before stroking my hair again.

A knock at the door made us both look up. It was Dad, clearly apprehensive about entering my room. He glanced at my mother before back at me, clearly uneasy. Rubbing the back of his neck, he asked, "I was just wondering, Annabel, if you'd like to go to lunch with me in an hour? Or a late breakfast? Something?"

Breakfast. I wonder if Owen went to World of Waffles without me. Or maybe…maybe he took Clarissa. Probably. He probably called her to help him out. That's what he did when I was in New York and couldn't make the show.

Good then. Fine. Owen would be happy with her. She was into the same weird music he was and she was clearly obsessed with him. He'd finally see what it was like to have someone that was infatuated with your every move. Good for him. I hope they happy. I hope they're very happy.

"Lunch," I sniffled, pushing myself up slightly. "Can we go to lunch?"

He smiled finally. "Sure! Lunch. Wherever you want."

I looked to my mother who wouldn't make eye contact with me. Really though this was just her avoiding looking at my father. "Mom?"

She glanced at me. "Hmmmm?"

"Will…would you go with us too?"

It took her a moment, but she finally was able to smile. A real one. It had been a long time after all.

"Of course, honey." She said, leaning down to kiss my head. "Whatever you want."

They both left me alone eventually, Mom going to shower and Dad going to get ready. I just laid there on my bed for a moment before pushing out of it. When I looked into the mirror on my dresser though, I wasn't shocked to find red eyes and a blotchy face. It was over, after all, between Owen and I. I deserved a few tears…or downpour.

It wasn't until I was in the car though with both my parents that it happened. I was sitting in the backseat, slightly excited by the thought of my parents both going out together. And with me. It shocked me that I could feel so happy after feeling so horrible, but I guess it's easy to get happy by little things when the big things are such a mess.

Anyways, I was sitting back there, trying to figure out what it was that I was missing. I had had the feeling that I was missing something since we left the house. I had my phone though and though I didn't look my best, I'd done all I could with my makeup. My outfit was nice as well. So what was it?

Instinctively, my hand came up to my neck, feeling for something. I stared in the review at myself, my hand seeming to be chocking me. It was looking though, for something. The rings of course. They wouldn't be there.

No matter then. I shifted in my seat, letting my hand fall. If Owen could be happy with Clarissa, as I'd already decided he would be, then I could be happy alone. Or with Kyle. Or even James if Clarke let him go. Maybe even Nate. He was hot.

Smiling to myself, I realized that was the first real time I'd been able to admit to myself that I would eventually date someone else. Not anytime soon. I'm not a rebound kind of person. I'd get completely over Owen, which would be admittedly hard, before getting out there again. Maybe I'd even wait until I started college in the fall. Either way, I'd be fine. Everything would work out.

After all, it always does.


	7. Chapter 7

Comfort

Chapter 7

It was awkward the first day. It was weird the next. Wednesday it was just off putting. That fourth day? If you asked me who I was dating, I wouldn't hesitate to say no one.

…Of course, the week had gone easier because Owen wasn't around. I assumed that he was either with his sister or just avoiding me. Which was fine either way. Owen Armstrong was no longer my problem. I was single. Really single. I could flirt, if I wanted. And I did want to. I never wanted to, but now I did. A lot. Especially with Kyle.

"I can't believe she broke up with me. What did I do wrong?"

I just smiled at Kyle, reaching over to ruffle his hair. "It's okay."

"Maybe it was the sex," James offered up, shrugging slightly. "You know that you weren't any good at that."

"Ah. I know," Kyle sighed, shaking his head. "I lied about the minute thing."

"Thirty seconds?"

He shook his head. "If that."

"Poor Kyle." James pushed his head before going back to his open locker. "And poor Annabel. Lucky me though, I'm still with my one true love."

I stared at him from the other side of Kyle. "Is that what she is now?"

"Oh yeah. Me and Clarke are totally forever."

I just stared at him, not used to hearing James speak this way. "Really now?"

"Mmmhmm."

"...I don't get it. Is he being sarcastic?" I asked Kyle. He shook his head.

"Clarke gives blows," Kyle told me, leaning his head against the closed locker in front of him. "'cause James gets everything."

He had been all broken up about that Cindy chick. I felt bad for him in a way. I mean, Owen and I had been together way longer and I wasn't even sad! At all. Not in the slightest. Nope. Not me. Never me. Who needs Owen? Owen who? Never met an Owen. In my life. Ever. So yeah.

"Lighten up, bud," James said, patting him on the back as he pulled his math book from his locker. It was just after second period and he was in a chipper mood. He had been all week. "Life goes on. Eh, Annabel?"

Just fine. Perfectly fine. Scratch that, just perfect. I'm just perfect.

"Yeah. Life goes on," I said, following him as he walked away, Kyle tagging along behind us. "So you and Clarke are…good?"

"Way good." He patted his stomach. "She makes me food. Good food."

"That's nice."

"Yeah."

Kyle sniffled behind us. "Cindy never made me food."

"With good reason. You guys were hardly even together." James was apparently forgetting that amount of time he and Clarke were together. Reaching back, he patted his friend on the shoulder. "You know the best way to get over a chick, buddy? A rebound."

"I could hardly get this girlfriend!"

"Yeah, well, it just gets easier after the first one," he assured him. "You start to lose that stupid love feeling and just get used to bouncing around. It's all about the sex, bro. Never forget that."

I shoved James softly. "Don't tell him that. It's not just about that, Kyle. It's about…liking being with someone. And when you stop liking being with them, that's when you know it's wrong. Sex is something that happens, yeah, but it's not all it's about. It's about emotions too."

James made a choking noise. "Annabel's talking about chick stuff. Guys don't think about that. At least not guys like us. Huh, Kyle? Hit it and quit it unless it's giving you food. The keep hitting it until it stops feeding you."

"You're a pig."

"Like I said, life happens." He turned off once we got to his math class. "Later, guys."

Kyle quickly filled his friend's place next to me, though he kept his head down. We walked silently for a moment before he said, "I miss Cindy."

Smiling, I reached over and rubbed his arm. "It's okay. It hurts at first."

He glanced at me before looking off. "Yeah, it does."

"It's not like you loved her or anything. Not really."

"No," he shook his head, looking at me again. "I didn't love her. Not her."

I blushed slightly and he shifted away from me. It was odd for me, flirting with another guy.

"This is my class," I told him awkwardly, heading over that way. "I'll, uh, talk to you later."

"Yeah. Later. Like lunch or something." He gave a slight wave, but couldn't look at me either. "Annabel."

* * *

It wasn't lunch though. It was only after third period that I saw Kyle again. I had needed to get something out of my locker when he came up to me. I just smiled at him, shocked to see him smile back.

"James got kicked out of last period."

"Really?" I frowned, closing my locker.

"Yeah, he text me from the principal's office. I think he's going to get suspended again."

"What did he do?" I asked, turning to face him. "Did he get in a fight with someone?"

"The teacher."

"What?"

Kyle nodded excitedly. Glad to see he's over Cindy… "Yeah! He told the guy that he could suck his dick."

"Why?" I asked, not really finding that admirable.

"He wanted him to turn in his homework and when James said he didn't do it, he said that he was going to call his mother since he hasn't turned any in all week. James told he could just suck his dick 'cause it'd get the same result."

I didn't think that that was such a cool thing, but it was clear that Kyle did. He was grinning like an idiot. The way he idolized James sort of confused me, but I guess James is able to speak up where he isn't, even when speaking up is the wrong thing to do. James is bold, Kyle's not. I guess all guys have that one friend that drags them down.

A smile slowly crept onto my face though I wanted to fight it. I in no way supported disrespecting a teacher. I knew that James would call me names for that, but it was true. You went to school for a reason. It wasn't the teacher's fault. It's not like James was illiterate or something; he could at least attempt his homework. Or call me for help. Instead he just acted like a jerk to that poor teacher for no reason.

Still, Kyle's grin was contagious. I'm serious. Especially after seeing him so down the whole day. He was usually so cheerful. It was…nice, seeing him so happy. He really was cute when he smiled. Really cute.

"Why are you blushing?" Kyle smiled, reaching out to push some of my hair out of my face. He was the exact same height as me. I liked that. A lot. It made it less awkward. It'd really help later, if we ever, you know, messed around or whatever. That just made me blush deeper. "You look really cute when you blush."

I looked at the ground now. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

For the first time in a long time, I realized that I was about to kiss another guy. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd kissed someone other than Owen. Like at all. It should have been exciting, right? Interesting. New. It would be new again. Fun.

…So why did I feel so guilty? Just from the thought of it?

It wasn't so much that I didn't want to kiss Kyle. Because I did. He was nice and funny and cute and he had that 'I need someone to take care of me, please' look about him. I loved that. He was a little on the heavier side, but besides that, he fell right into the kind of guys that I usually dated. And even though I usually didn't rebound, I liked toying with the possibility. And maybe Kyle and I would work out. We got along well. We were friends.

But…I wasn't over Owen. I wanted everyone to think I was because, duh. I didn't want anyone to think I was weak, some girl that cries over a guy for days and days when it's clear that he doesn't care about her. Besides, people break up all the time. Especially in high school. I usually looked down on those girls that really thought they were going to make it with whatever boyfriend they had at the moment. Still, it's different when it's you, you know? Everyone always thinks they're a special circumstance, I guess, and I'm no different.

I turned away when Kyle moved to kiss me. I had to. How could I not? I liked Kyle, sure, but I loved Owen. And even if I knew it was over, part of me was still hung up on it. I would hate it, you know, if he kissed another girl not even a week after breaking up. I would hate it a lot.

"What?" Kyle frowned. "Oh no, did I mess up? I thought you- Hey!"

My eyes widened, as suddenly Kyle was shoved away from me. It didn't take long to figure out by who.

"Owen!"

He turned to look at me, anger written all over his face. "What the fuck did you think you were doing?"

"What are you-"

"That hurt," Kyle complained, rubbing his chest. Then he looked at Owen, bucking up slightly. "You big jerk! Why'd you go and do that?"

When Owen looked back at him though, Kyle just took a step back, rubbing the back of his neck while grumbling under his breath.

"Knock it off, Owen," I said, frowning at him. "What are you even doing here?"

"Try I go to school here?"

"Since when? You haven't been here-"

"So that gives you the right to be all over him?"

"Oh, whatever, Owen. We were talking."

"That was talking? God, you-"

"Why are you so upset?" I shifted away from him. "I'm a bitch, right?"

"I-"

"Just go away, Owen."

"No. You-"

"I don't want to talk to you. You-"

"_Don't_ you cut me off, Annabel."

"Hey!" Kyle was suddenly back in the argument. "She said that she doesn't want to talk to you."

Owen hardly glanced at him as he shoved the other guy away. This time I got a good look at Owen's right hand which was wrapped in some gauze. "Fuck off, dickwad."

"Owen-"

"You can't talk to me like that." Kyle moved to shove him back. "You jerk."

"I told you to screw off." Owen full on turned to look at him now, having to turn his head down to do so. When Kyle realized how much bigger Owen was than him, he easily backed down, taking a few steps back.

"You're an ass," he told him before glancing at me. I wouldn't look at him though. Not now. Not with Owen here. Old loyalties and all. Kyle was nice, but we'd never had a fight. I had no idea what one would be like between us. Owen though I knew was very faithful. Reliable. Kyle hung out with James who was a huge flake. Why risk everything on him?

"What the hell was all that, Annabel?" Owen turned to look at me then, frowning. "Huh?"

"I thought…" I glanced down at his wrapped hand again before at his face. "Aren't we broken up?'

"What?"

"We are. Aren't we?"

"We had a fucking fight."

"You called me a bitch and said that you didn't know why you liked me after discussing taking a break. That's pretty much breaking up."

He shook his head at me, clearly confused. "We didn't break up."

"We did, Owen."

"No."

"Regardless, what you did was uncalled for."

"Uncalled for?" He let out a rough breath. "God, you-"

"That's the bell," I said dumbly as it rang. Owen didn't seem to care. "Owen-"

"We are not fucking broken up," he told me finally, walking past me. "So get that the fuck out of your head."

I just stood there, watching as he left, not moving until a teacher yelled at me about being tardy. Still, it didn't make sense in my head.

If we weren't broken up and we weren't on a break…what were we?

* * *

Owen was waiting for me before lunch at my locker. We didn't say anything as I got my lunch out of my locker, him just standing by, watching. Then we headed out to the wall silently, hardly even looking at each other.

"Annabel!"

I frowned as James came rushing up towards me, all flushed faced and what not. Kyle was standing back away from him, closer to the tables in the center of the courtyard, clearly apprehensive about coming around me.

"Come on," the bolder of the two said. "I've got to tell you about how I told off my math teacher to-"

"I can't," I told him, glancing at Owen. "Owen's here today."

"So?"

"So she's sitting with me, Barrs. Fuck off." Owen finally just took my arm, dragging me away from the other guy. I tried to jerk away from him, but he wouldn't let go until we got to the wall. Once there, he just glanced at me before taking his seat.

"Why are you being like this?"

"Me?" He shook his head at me. "The heck did you think you were doing, Annabel? Messing around on me?"

I huffed. "Number one, I didn't do anything with either of them. Number two, we're broken up."

"No we're not! Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because we are."

"How? How are we broken up? Did I give you any of your stuff back?"

"What stuff?"

"I have things of yours," Owen said. "Stuff that you just accidentally left in my car or whatever, but I still have them. And you still have my stuff. And I never said that you weren't my girlfriend. Ever. So see? We're not broken up."

"Owen-"

"We're not. Now sit down."

"You-"

"Now!"

Really didn't want to. I wanted to walk away from him. He was being controlling and a complete ass. Still, there was something about him that just made me sit down. I would hate myself for it later I was sure, but I still did it.

Owen watched me sit next to him for a few minutes before letting out a loud groan.

"Well, aren't you going to eat?"

I still just sat there next to him, staring down at my lap.

"Annabel, I didn't mean to…" He nodded out at the tables in front of us. "Go sit with your friends then. I'm not going to have you acting like I'm-"

"I'm not acting like anything, Owen."

"If you want to sit with your friends, go sit with your friends." He reached up with his left hand, scratching his head. I took notice of his right hand again, glancing down at it and its bandages. "If you want."

I wanted to ask him what happened to his hand, but I couldn't find the words. I also couldn't manage to get up and walk away from him. He had yet to apologize for calling me a bitch or acting like such an idiot, but I figured I wouldn't be getting that apology anytime soon.

"Here," I whispered as I opened my lunch sack, pulling out my sandwich. I ripped it in half before handing part to him.

"You-"

"Just take it, Owen."

So we sat there next to each other, sharing my lunch, but not talking either. After we finished eating though, we had nothing else to hide behind. I sighed, realizing it was my turn to start the conversation.

"James has been taking me home from school," I told him. "This week. Whitney has my car now that Mom wanted hers back."

Owen just sat there, thinking. Finally, he slowly asked, "Do you want to break up?"

"I don't know."

"I didn't mean to make you…I thought we were just fighting's all. If I knew you…" He shook his head. "Why didn't you call me?"

"We broke up."

"Would you stop saying that? You can't break up if we don't both know about it."

"How could you not know?"

"I get angry, Annabel. I say things."

"You didn't used to. I mean, you did, but you were better. You knew how to, like, keep it under control."

He tried to make a fist with his right hand, but ended up wincing and giving up. Again, I was tempted to ask, but figured that it was best to hold off at the moment. If we really were back together, there would be more than enough time for that later.

"I just can't anymore, Annabel. It's all gone to hell. And it's not even my fault. Not really. Everything just got shitty and I'm supposed to stay the same? Fuck it."

"Stop cursing so much."

He just groaned, shaking his head. Then after letting out a breath, he asked, "Do you like him?"

"Huh?"

"That boy you were…talking to. Do you like him or something?"

"Owen-"

"More than me?"

"Of course not."

He grunted. "You sure seemed happy with him."

"Shut up, alright?" I didn't know why him saying that bothered me so much, but it did. "Just knock it off."

"What if you saw me like that with a girl, Annabel? Huh?"

I flushed. "I just figured, Owen, that we were... Who helped you with the show on Sunday?"

"What do you mean?"

"Who helped you with the show since I wasn't there?"

"Uh, Rolly, I guess. He was there."

"What about Clarissa?"

"What about her?"

I looked away from him. "I just figured that since we were broken up, you'd-"

"For the last time, Annabel, we weren't broken up!"

"Then what were we, Owen? Because I freaking cried over you. I told everyone that I was done with you. Now here you are, saying that we weren't broken up to being with?"

"So what if we were? That doesn't mean that you can be all over that Kyle freak."

"That's exactly what it means, Owen."

"You said that you loved me. And now you want to be with some other guy?"

"I thought that we were-"

"If you broke up with me right now, do you think I'd be with some other girl?"

"Yes, Owen! That's what people do."

"Not people that actually loved each other."

I let out a long sigh, turning to look at him. Owen wouldn't meet my eyes though. "Do you want to break up?"

"No. Of course not."

"Then we won't, okay? Just calm down."

"I just don't like-"

"Calm down. Take a breath."

He made a fist again, but didn't wince. I saw the bandage turn red as he no doubt broke the cuts that were healing under there open.

"You're bleeding."

He glanced down at his hand, shaking his head. "I don't care."

I had my chance again to ask what happened, but I couldn't make myself follow through. Instead I just leaned my head against his arm.

Why couldn't things ever just be simple?

* * *

Walking into trig, I saw Owen sitting in his normal seat which was, of course, next to mine. He hadn't been in class for so long that I forgot for a moment that he even had that class. So I wasn't rid of him yet. Great. I guess our break up would be hard, had we broken up, what with him right here the whole time.

Owen said nothing as I took my seat next to him, not even looking at me. I couldn't help it though as I took another glance at his right hand. The bandage was still bloody. It needed to be changed. I wonder if he brought bandages with him. I could change it for him if he-

"Did you do the homework?"

I snapped to attention as Larry Trout stood in front of me, his long, overly greased hair falling over his face. He leaned down to look at me, but I really just wanted him to get away.

"What?"

"Did you? The homework? Can I borrow it real fast?"

I could feel Owen's eyes on me now, but I mean, come on. I had my standards. Our apparently false break up didn't mean I'd get hot and heavy with any guy who asked for it. Please.

"Yeah, sure," I said, pulling my math journal out. Anything to get Owen to stop glaring at me. "Here. Just hurry and give it back, huh? Before we turn it in?"

He nodded before heading off to his desk. Owen was still looking at me and instead of ignoring him, I just turned to glare at him too.

"Knock it off."

"What?"

I shook my head at him, turning back around. It was five seconds later that my phone vibrated.

_Him too?_

I turned my rock eyes back on Owen. "No."

"Well, how am I supposed to know what you've done and not done since apparently you've just gone crazy this week without me?"

"I said to knock it off."

He had to though as the teacher came back into the classroom. I have never been happier to see Mr. Hale in my entire life.

Owen slept mostly through trig, but that was normal. He hadn't been there in so long that most of the work would have went over his head. Especially considering he didn't get it at the beginning of the year.

"Mr. Armstrong," the teacher called to him with ten minutes till the bell. "Can I see you for a second? Outside?" When he saw that he was sleeping, Mr. Hale looked to me.

I had to shove Owen awake before pointing at the teacher. Owen just yawned sleepily as he pulled his headphones out and headed towards the front of the classroom. It wasn't until he and the teacher were out of the room that Britney, the girl that sat behind me, spoke.

"Ooh, Annabel. Your boyfriend's in trouble."

I wanted to tell her that he wasn't my boyfriend, but I was pretty sure that would be a lie. Still, I couldn't help it as my stomach twisted up, thinking about Owen getting in trouble. I wanted to protect him for some reason. It was his own fault that he was so behind, but it was with good reason that he stayed with his sister. I just wanted everyone to leave him alone.

When Owen came back into the classroom, he just took his seat without saying anything. I was hoping that he would text me, but he just put his headphones back in before laying his head down and going back to sleep.

Five minutes later when the bell rang, I was tempted to just leave him there, but I couldn't. Number one, that would only succeed in causing us to fight more and number two, I really wanted to now what was said in the hallway.

Owen yawned as he woke up, standing slowly. He didn't take his headphones out, but did look at me, waiting for me to leave the classroom before following. He trailed me all the way back to my locker.

"What was that about?" I asked him. "With Mr. Hale?"

He just leaned into the locker next to mine, staring at me sleepily. "He thinks that I need to drop this class next semester."

I considered this before nodding. "Are you?"

Owen let out a long sigh. "We'll talk about it in the car."

I frowned. "Huh?"

"I'm taking you home. Not those stupid potheads."

"Okay," I agreed, knowing that resistance was futile. "Do you need to go to your locker or-"

"No. Just come on."

It was my turn to follow along, Owen leading me out off the school and to the Land Cruiser. I hadn't even noticed it this morning when I pulled in. Maybe he was late. Or maybe I just didn't care.

"Did you listen?" I asked.

"Hmmm?"

"To my show." I swallowed, not really wanting the answer. My shows the last three days had been rough, if only because he wasn't there with me. "Did you listen?"

"I always listen."

"Oh."

Once we were in the car, I expected Owen to just hand me the hammer and let me buckle myself in. He didn't though. He just went on about things like usual. Which was fine. It gave me a chance to look at his right hand again, frowning slightly at his lack of care for it. Again, I debated bringing it up, but knew if I kept quiet about it long enough, Owen would just tell me.

"So what couldn't you say in the hallway?" I asked finally once we were pulled away from the school. "Owen?"

He took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. "I'm eighteen in a couple of days."

"I know."

"So Mom thought… I've missed so much school that they might not even count this semester."

"What?"

He nodded though he was focused on the road. "So she thought that maybe I could just…dropout."

"Owen-"

"She said only if I got my GED. It's the same thing these days, job wise you know? GED or graduated, it doesn't matter. Not if I'm not going to college." He sighed. "I'm going to be working full time my whole life anyways. If I drop now, I can just get to it, you know? Not prolong the inevitable."

"So…are you?"

He looked at me. "I didn't tell her, but I wanted to wait until you and me talked."

"Why?"

"Because, Annabel, I don't want to leave you alone at that place with all those dickwads." He looked back at the road. "I'll stay and graduate if you want me to."

"It's not up to me."

"But it is, Annabel."

"No, Owen, it's not. That's something that you have to figure out for yourself." I leaned against the window, sighing. "I would never even dream of dropping out. But then again, I'd never dream that you could get so close to the end just to realize that you didn't want to do it anymore. Not to mention, you not even wanting to go to college shocks me. Not even a community college. One would take you, you know, I'm sure. Or a trade school. Something."

"I know."

"I just don't see life like you do."

"Then you want me to graduate."

"I don't want you putting your decisions off on me. That's how you end up resenting each other." I glanced at him. "I want you to do what you want. I want you to be happy. You know? I care about you, Owen."

"You used to love me."

"Used to?"

We both locked eyes momentarily before he looked away. I sighed before shutting my eyes. How was I back to this? Why did I just let myself fall right back into Owen's world? Or maybe I was never out of it to begin with.

When we got to my house, Owen didn't hesitate to get out of the car with me. I said nothing to him as I led him up to the house and unlocked the front door. I did mumbled something about both my parents being out though, which Owen took in silence. I'm sure he figured as much considering I needed a ride home.

"Why aren't you wearing these?"

We were in my bedroom at that point, me going over to my bed to set my stuff down. "What?"

Owen had found the broken chain with the rings on it sitting on my dresser. "What happened to the clasp?"

"I broke it."

He looked at me. "Were you that mad at me?"

"You called me a bitch. If another guy would have called me that, you'd have gone ballistic."

"I would have," he agreed before moving to get the rings off the chain. "Well, you're going to have to wear them now then, on your fingers."

"Owen-"

"You're the one who broke the chain," he pointed out.

"What makes you think that I want to wear them?"

That got him to look at me. "Try because you're my girlfriend?"

"Owen-"

"If you're not even going to wear them, then what am I doing here? Huh? What are you doing here?" He clinched his right hand again, the blood now trickling down his hand as it seeped through the gauze. How deeply had he cut himself? "Are we together or not?"

"You're bleeding again."

"I don't-"

"Come here." I grasped his left hand, dragging him out of my bedroom. He was giving into me, making it easy. It wasn't until we were in the bathroom that I let go of him. "God, let me see it."

"What are you doing?"

I turned to face him, gently taking his right hand into mine. "I have to change the bandages, Owen. You're seeping through them. God, you've bled so much."

He just stood there watching as I slowly unwound the gauze, not speaking. When I saw his wounds full on, I gasped slightly.

"What did you do?"

He just stared down at his broken flesh. "I hit some things."

"Not people?"

"Not people."

I still just stared at it. "Then what?"

"Started with the bathroom mirror. Then the windows around the house."

"Owen…" I looked up at his face. "You can't do things like that."

He shrugged slightly. "Better than people."

"Well, sure, but look what you've done to yourself." I shook my head slightly as I turned to look down at his knuckles again. "This is going to scar. Especially if you keep opening the wounds."

He looked down at it too. "I don't care."

"You better." I still held his hand, but used my other one to open the medicine cabinet. When Owen saw the first thing I grabbed wasn't the gauze, he freaked.

"No." He jerked out of my hold. "No way. That stuff burns."

"Oh, shut up." I reached out, grabbing his hand once more. Owen was shaking though. The guy can cut himself up, but can't handle a little peroxide? "This is just the stuff that bubbles up. It'll kill the bacteria and stuff, Owen."

"I know what it does. I just don't want you using it on me."

"Well, we don't want you getting an infection do we?"

"There has to be another way."

"Stop being a baby." I drug him over to the sink, holding his hand over it as I unscrewed the bottle. "This doesn't even hurt. Promise."

Owen just moaned in a girly way as I poured the contents of the bottle over his wounds. It immediately fizzled as he probably never thought to washout the wound, only wrapping it. He was so stupid sometimes.

"Okay, wash it off."

"Not yet, Owen." I watched it, shaking my head. "You have to let it do its job."

After a minute, I turned the cold tap on before letting Owen stick his hand under it. While he did that, I put the peroxide up.

"See? Wasn't that bad." I wasn't done with him yet though. "This one though will hurt."

"What are you- No. No. That stuff doesn't even work. That's what people say now. Haven't you read the studies?"

I still pulled the bottle of rubbing alcohol out. "Have you?"

"No," he said with a snort. "But I've heard they're pretty compelling."

"Owen."

"Please? I don't need both, do I?"

"I think you do." I pulled on his hand. "It'll only sting a little. Promise."

"But Annabel-"

"Just hold still."

He whined more with the alcohol than he had with the hydrogen peroxide, but that was expected. It did sting. Still, I never thought of Owen as a crybaby about his cuts and scraps. He was fine, just letting the thing bleed and the pain that caused, but a little rubbing alcohol hurt him? It made no sense.

"There," I said, moving him away from the sink now as I grabbed a hand towel. After patting his hand dry, I said, "Now let me wrap it."

Owen did better at this part, watching as I wrapped his wounds back up. I did so diligently, not even really paying attention to him, just his wounds. I was really worried about infection. Guys never took good care of their cuts and scraps. And these are pretty bad. I knew I'd probably have to be the one to make sure that his bandage got changed regularly.

God. We are back together.

"Thanks," Owen said as I finished wrapping his cuts. I just kissed the fresh bandages gently, blushing slightly as I did so. Owen smiled at this, turning his injured hand to that he could cup my cheek. "You gonna nurse me back to health?"

"Someone has to."

"I wouldn't want anyone else, but you."

As I put up the bandages and alcohol, Owen wiggled his fingers some, probably checking to make sure I hadn't wrapped it too tightly and cut off his circulation. Once he was satisfied, he turned back to me at the same time I finished putting things away and turned back to him. Owen just smiled at me before wrapping his arms around my middle and lifting me up into the air.

"Owen-"

"Why would I ever break up with you? You're perfect. Too perfect." He had to stare up at me now as he held me in the air. "Bella."

I just stared down at him, frowning. "You hurt me."

"I know. I'm sorry."

He dropped me then, gently. I just looked away while Owen moved closer. Using his uninjured hand, he turned my chin towards him so that we were facing. Then, finally, I got that kiss. It wasn't fresh, it wasn't exciting, and it wasn't the start of something new at least for all the reasons kissing another guy would have been. It was an apology, a truce, and it was love. Because Owen did love me. And not just because he wanted to sleep with me.

That meant a lot these days.

"I'm sorry too," I told him as I pulled away, resting his forehead on mine as he stared down at me. "I shouldn't have-"

"You always have to say sorry, huh?" He rubbed our noses together, something that I knew no other guy would ever think to do. And if he did, it would come off as corny or cheesy. When Owen did it, it was our thing and that made it okay. It was cute. It was us.

"That's because I always am sorry."

"Well, you don't need to be this time, huh?" He kissed me one more time, though it was just a peck. "I love you. And you're right. If I ever heard another guy say something to you like that, I would have gotten upset. I was stupid Saturday. The whole day. Can you forgive me?"

"Well," I began slowly. "You are just a dinky little bear. You don't know better."

"Dinky?"

I reached up, pressing a finger into his nose gently. "Dinky."

"I'll take it."

"Of course you will."

We could never just kiss these days, Owen and I, so it didn't shock me when we ended up back in my bedroom. It did kind of shock me when he carried me there. I knew he could, but he knew that I didn't like being carried. At all. It made me feel like I was going to fall. Still, I allowed it this time, just giggling when he deposited me on my bed.

"God I missed you," Owen whispered to me as he laid down with me. "Bella."

I smiled as he nuzzled his head into my neck. "What about your music, Bear? You don't want music on?"

Groaning, he reached over to my bedside table and fiddled with my alarm clock, eventually succeeding in turning the radio on. Then he messed with the station until he found one that he liked.

"There. Now I can get back to you." He was laid down half on top of me, half not, smiling as he kissed my neck. "Anna."

He was rare to call me that. Mainly because he knew what it did to me.

Shivering against him, I giggled as I turned on my side. Being called that made me feel more grown up. It just sounded more adult than Bell or Bella did. To me at least. It made me hot, really. Especially the way he said it.

Owen just laughed, kissing me as he clumsily attempted to get my shirt off. I figured he'd do that. Since I let him see me topless those few times, he thought it was our new boundary and I'd go there every time. And I would, probably. Especially now when we'd gone so long without each other.

A week. It hadn't even been a week. For some reason that hit me as Owen started to kiss my now visible collarbone. Then why did it feel like so long? Did I need Owen this much? Was I that dependant on another person?

That thought alone scared the shit out of me.

"Bear."

He chuckled, clearly overjoyed with what we were doing. "I love you."

I stroked his head gently. "Mmmm."

He rubbed his stubbly chin into my flesh, still giddy. "God. If I had lost you-"

"But you didn't." I kissed the top of his head. "And that's all that matters. Huh?"

"Yeah." He moved back up to my face, pressing a kiss against my lips. "God yeah."

* * *

His stomach growling is what got us to leave my bedroom. We were both content with laying around in my bed for the rest of our lives. Instead, we ventured down the stairs to go find something suitable for consumption. Owen had lost his gaiety, but was still pretty happy. I think he had been scared this morning when he saw me with Kyle and it was just dawning on him that the problem had defused itself. I was with him. I really was still with him.

"Do you want a smoothie?"

Owen just stared at me before at the blender and finally at the fruit I was gesturing to. "Ha. Funny. Try again."

"How about a milkshake then?" I sighed, going to get the ice cream and some ice.

"That's more like it."

I giggled as he came up behind me, kissing my neck. "Cut it out, Bear. Just let me make this real fast, huh? Besides, we already did that."

"I can kiss you without thinking about that. You know that, huh?"

"Sure."

"I can." He tried to bite down on my shoulder, but I moved away from him.

"Knock it off. Now."

He growled, but left me alone instead taking to watching me make his food. If there was one thing Owen liked more than me, it was eating. And music. I'm pretty sure at least.

"You want chocolate syrup in there, Bear?"

"Yeah," he said, going to get it out of the fridge. "Lots."

"You could make your own, you know."

"I could," he agreed. "But why should I when you're going to do it for me?"

"Good point."

"Annabel?"

I jumped as my mother's voice hit my ears. Turning, I found her standing in the kitchen doorway. How had we missed her coming into the house? Owen smiled at her, but she hardly glanced at him.

"Hey, Mom," I said awkwardly. Owen frowned as I put the top on the blender, but didn't start it. He was hungry after all. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Owen," she said slowly, glancing at him. "I didn't plan on you being here."

He still just looked longingly at the blender. "I could leave, if I need to."

"You're fine," she told him, continuing on into the house. "Your father will be home late, Annabel and I'm going out to dinner with Whitney tonight. Did you want to come or-"

"No," I told her. "I'll find something here. Or eat with Owen."

"If you're sure. I just came home to get dressed and then I'm going to meet her at her place." Mom looked at Owen again before back at me. "If the two of you are alright home alone, that is."

I wasn't sure if she was implying that she didn't trust me or that she was worried after how upset I was last time Owen was over. Still, I just nodded, moving to turn on the blender.

"We will."

"You should really tell us though, Annabel, when you're having company over."

I knew that she was only being like that because she thought Owen and I had broken up, but she was starting to get on my nerves.

"I know. Sorry."

With one last nod, she headed up the stairs, off to get ready for her day out with her favorite daughter. Sighing, I looked over at Owen who was watching the blender with interest.

"What are you?" I asked him over the noise. "Five? Have you never seen something get mixed up in a blender or something?"

"I have," he assured me. "It's still cool."

The little things always get Owen. Always.

"You're cute," I said, reaching over with one hand to rub his head. "You know that?"

He just smiled at me. "So I've been told."

We ended up back in the living room, each of us sipping on our milkshakes and watching cartoons. Or, well, Owen was watching cartoons. I wasn't much of a cartoon person, but I couldn't convince him to watch any of my reality shows, so this was the only option.

"What do you want to do for dinner?" he asked me as the show went to commercial. I wasn't allowed to talk during his cartoon. I swear, he's like a little boy. "Annabel?"

"You don't have to go home? Be with Mallory? Or work or something?"

"I can be with you tonight," he told me before taking another sip of his drink. "If you'll have me."

Smiling, I leaned against him. "Always. And besides, you can choose what we eat. I don't care."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. Besides, your birthday's coming up. You choose."

"I get to choose where we eat, huh? And I get to pay?"

"It's a trade off."

"Is it a fair trade off though is what I'm wondering."

"Alls fair in love and war, right?"

He stared down at me. "Is this love though? Or war?"

Reaching down, I stroked the bandage on his right hand. "I dunno, Bear. You choose."

He stared down at his right hand, watching me caress it gently. "It didn't hurt, you know."

"Hmmm?"

"When I was hitting things. I hit a lot of things that night. But I didn't feel it. Not really." He shook his head. "Not until I calmed down. That's when I feel things. When I've calmed down."

"That's because you allow yourself to get too worked up over things, Bear. You always do. You can't control it at all anymore. What happened to all the things you learned in anger management?"

"I still use them," he told me indignantly. "They just don't work out so well. I try though. I always try."

"I know. It's just happening too frequently, I think, you getting angry. It's like you're frustrated constantly. I think that's the main problem. You can't fight your anger if you're angry all the time."

"I'm not angry all the time."

"You know what I mean."

He winced as I pressed down too hard on his bandage. "Ow."

"Sorry." I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "I didn't mean to do that."

"I think it was that stupid stuff you put on it."

"What? People use peroxide and alcohol on wounds, Bear. You have to keep it from getting infected." I sat up straighter. "You're coming over tomorrow right after school so I can wash it out again."

"What? No! I won't. I won't let you do that again. That hurt."

"You're such a baby."

"I don't care."

"Besides, Bear," I began, leaning up towards his ear. Speaking gently into it, I said, "If you let me wash out your wound again, I just might do that same thing I did today after I cleaned it."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh." He looked down at his gauze. "Then I guess I could handle it. You now, for the reward at the end."

I kissed his ear. "You think so?"

"With the promise of that, how could I not?"


	8. Chapter 8

Comfort

Chapter 8

"He can't just buy you back."

"That's not what he's doing, Dad," I said, continuing to put the flowers Owen bought me in the vase. "I was never away. You can't get something back that never left."

Dad snorted. "I just think it would have been better if you did break up."

"Mom."

She sighed. "Drew, just leave her alone, okay? Annabel has to learn to make her own decisions."

"Well, I don't like that boy."

I ignored the two of them though as they sat at the table, Mom reading a magazine, Dad eating pizza. Owen had just come over a few minutes earlier, bearing pizza and flowers. He had to get back to work, he said, but he just wanted to give me those things first. He promised to call after work and told me he loved me. He'd been buying me thing since we first made up. He'd already bought me a new chain for the rings as well as a new jacket. And he'd brought me food every single day.

"Oh, Andrew."

"What, Grace? Why should I like him?" My father shook his head. "Like you like him?"

"I do," she told him. "And you're sure eating his pizza, aren't you?"

Dad just snorted. "It was bought for us, wasn't it?"

"It was bought for Annabel."

"He bought it to say sorry. He has to apologize to us too."

"For what?"

Dad didn't answer, just continued eating his pizza. Now finished with my flowers, I went to go get my own slice of pizza.

"He always buys me stuff, Dad," I told him, taking my pizza with me into the living room. "This is nothing new."

"Hmmm."

"He just likes to."

"You don't have to defend him to me, Annabel. I won't like him either way."

"Andrew," Mom warned him. "Honestly."

It was a long night all alone. James and Kyle hadn't been talking to me, not since I chose Owen over them. When I tried to tell Owen about it though, he just told me that I didn't need them. That all I needed was him. Still, I felt kind of bad. They were my friends. And I'm almost certain Kyle felt like I had been playing him. And hadn't I?

I spent the whole night waiting around for Owen to text me. I felt pathetic for it, but it was a very deep hole we had dug and neither of us could fully claw our way out. It wasn't until around ten thirty that he got around to calling me though.

"Hey, Bella."

"Hey."

He laughed then, even though all I'd done was greet him. Giddy, Owen seemed to be a lot. For now anyways.

"What are you doing?"

"Just laying in bed. You?"

"Just got off. I'm making dinner."

"What are you making?"

"Eggs," he told me which only made me roll my eyes. "Did you like your pizza?"

"I loved it. My flowers too." It was my turn to giggle. "Thank you for them."

"You're my girlfriend. Of course I buy you things. I love you." Once again he chuckled. "You hear me?"

"Yes."

"Good." He let out a long sigh. "Are you doing anything tomorrow? I'm off."

"It'll be what? Thursday? That's fine. Let's go to a movie."

"Another movie?"

"What did you want to do then, Bear?"

"Mess around."

"Of course," I said dryly. "Well, can't we go see a movie instead?"

"And then mess around?"

"What is with you?"

"I dunno."

I groaned slightly, shifting in bed. "I should have never let this start. Now that's all you ever want to do."

"No true," he said, offended. "We spend time together without that all the time."

"Yeah. When we're at school."

"…Do you really think that I…"

Sighing, I went ahead and told him no to save an argument. I really didn't feel like getting into it over nothing. Then we had an awkward couple moments of silence in which neither Owen nor I knew how to end the conversation. Not that there was much of a conversation anyways.

"I guess I'll just talk to you tomorrow, Owen," I said finally, not sure what else there was to say.

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too."

"G'night."

"Night."

* * *

It happened before second period. Owen and I, of course, didn't have a first, so we had just gotten to school. We were at his locker, me waiting for him to get his science book out so that he could walk me to class. He was very conscientious about that kind of stuff.

"-CD, but I dunno. You know?" Owen hardly glanced at me as he closed his locker. "I mean, it's okay, I guess, but there's just something about their new CD that seems off. It's one thing for a band to change or grow, that's good, but this seems a little much. If you listened to them, you'd get what I'm-"

"Do you know what you did? Do you know what the fuck you did?"

Frowning, I turned from Owen to face the girl who had stomped up in front of me. For a second, I couldn't place her. Then I did.

"Do you know what they did to him? Huh?"

"Who are you-"

"Will," Sophie yelled at me. "Do you know what they did to him? Huh? Do you?"

"I don't know what you're-"

"Oh, like you haven't heard." She was in my face now and I was reminded for a moment of how different she looked these days. She wasn't using as much makeup and she had dyed her hair darker. "They beat the crap out of him. Some guys in his cellblock. He's in a freaking coma."

I just stared at her before glancing at Owen. He was watching us though, not saying anything.

"I don't-"

"You fucking did this! You lying little whore. And you and Emily. You all-"

"Back up," Owen intervened then, moving to get between the two of us.

"And who the fuck are you? Her bodyguard?"

"No, her boyfriend. Now leave her alone."

Sophie snorted at her as I looked around. We had a crowd now. God, I hated crowds. Everyone would start talking about me again. I couldn't deal with everyone talking about me again. I really couldn't. I just had to…I had to…

Shoving my books and stuff into Owen's hands, I pushed passed the still raving Sophie and my confused boyfriend, rushing through the crowd of onlookers as I headed to the bathroom. I found a stall quickly before losing my breakfast in the toilet.

It took me a minute to collect myself, silently glad that I had made it to the bathroom while also terrified of what was waiting for me back in the hall. After washing off my face and hands in the sink, I headed back out of the bathroom to find my boyfriend, diligent as ever, standing next to the bathroom door. Like right next to the door to the girl's bathroom. I think he forgets how creepy other people perceive his actions sometimes.

"I forgot that you do that," was the first thing he told me as I scanned around, trying to find Sophie. I figured it was best if I knew what I was up against from the start.

"Do what?"

"Throw up when you get nervous." He smiled then roughly. "I guess that means none of our fights have ever been major. I mean, you've never thrown up afterwards."

"We've never been in a fight that could turn physical."

He frowned then, shaking his head slightly as I took my stuff back from him. "I wouldn't have let her hit you. You know that."

"Yeah, I know."

He kissed my head then. "Are you okay?"

I looked around again before shaking my head. "I really don't want to be in school right now."

"Then let's not be," Owen said, taking my stuff back from me, apparently planning on carrying it.

"What do you mean?" I finally gave up on looking for my ex-best friend and turned to face my boyfriend. "Owen?"

"We're not really here yet anyways. Not until we get checked in on the roll, which we haven't be yet."

"So?"

"So, let's go."

"Go?"

"Let's skip today. I've already missed so many days that one more won't matter. Besides, I haven't had a fun skip day in months." Owen was walking now, swiftly moving through the crowd. "Me and you, a whole day to ourselves. Then tomorrow we can come back, see everything we missed and then have the whole weekend to make it up."

"What about my parents? They'll be mad at me."

"And? They'll get over it. I'll tell my mom exactly what happened and she'll get over it. Why won't yours?"

"I just-"

"Come on, Bell. We'll go to the movies, go to the mall, go out to eat. It'll be fun. Everything you wanted to do tonight done now."

"I guess so," I sighed, not so sure my parents would just 'get over it' like he thought they would.

Owen smiled back at me, clearly excited by the idea. "Great. Now come on."

* * *

"There's, like, no one else in here," I whispered to Owen, glancing around the empty theater. "Like at all."

"With good reason. This movie is crap."

I leaned into his arm, sighing. "At least the popcorn is fresh."

"Mmmm."

I took a sip of his soda, but Owen didn't seem to mind. He was texting on his phone.

"Mom says it's fine," he told me.

"What's fine?"

"That I'm skipping."

"Really?"

He shrugged. "I told you, she says I can just drop. Me going to school isn't really a big issue right now."

"What does your dad say?"

"Last time I checked, he's in Arizona, nowhere near me or my life."

Sighing slightly, I snuggled into him more. "This is a crappy movie though."

"We don't have to stay, Bell. We can leave if you wanted. Do something else."

"Well, I know," I said, smiling up at him. "I just had some other things in mind, is all."

"Other things?"

Nodding, I pulled him in for a quick kiss. "This is what you do, you know, when the movie sucks. Not leave."

"Oh, I-" He frowned as he stopped speaking. "Do you know about Mallory's boyfriend? That works here?"

I just stared at him for a moment. 'You're not supposed to know about him."

"So you did know." Owen shook his head at me. "You're not supposed to keep secrets from me."

"It's not a bad secret."

"Mallory having a secret, older boyfriend is bad."

"A year older is hardly older. If he was, like, twenty, yeah then I'd tell you. That's older." I kissed him. "Besides, Owen, you should let her be happy."

He shook his head. "Is that what she does at the movies then? This?"

"I think they just hangout in the arcade," I told him. "She mentioned it to me once. The last time I went to see her."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Bear, focus on this, huh?" I kissed him again. "Or the stupid movie. Not your sister. If she was with a bad guy, I'd have said something. I really would have."

"You lied."

"I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you. Difference."

"I don't see one."

"That's because you're stupid."

"Annabel-"

"She's fine. If you're really that worried, then I'll talk to her about him again. Huh?"

He stared into my eyes. "Fine. I guess. For now anyways."

"Good." I stroked the back of his neck. "Now, I skipped school just to spend the day with you. Are we really not going to make out at least once?"

"One track mind, Bell?"

"We could always just shop. Just as good as far as I'm concerned."

"No, no," he said, moving to press his lips to mine. "This is just as well."

"That's what I thought."

* * *

"How can you get so hungry all the time?"

Owen just kept eating the fries. "I dunno."

I sighed, staring at him. "So what do you wanna do on Saturday? For your birthday?"

"I dunno."

"Is that all you're going to say today?"

"I d-"

"Don't you start."

Owen smiled up at me finally. "Are you gonna bake me something?"

"For your birthday? Sure."

"Cake? Cookies?"

"What do you like more?"

"You should know."

I smiled at him. "You want a pie, huh?"

"If you're offering, cherry."

"I'll see what I can do, Bear."

"Not that I'm adverse to cookies also. And cake."

I looked around the restaurant, smiling. "You'll just have to wait and see, Bear."

He smiled back at me. "Have you thought any about our Halloween plans?"

"I usually just pass out candy. My parents usually go to Dad's work Halloween party."

"Yeah, the Arbors is pretty busy, huh?"

"Yeah. Everyone comes 'cause they think that we have the best candy."

"Do you?"

"I dunno. Maybe you'll have to come over and find out."

He went back to his fries. "Maybe you and I can pass out candy at your house. Just the two of us. Watch horror movies. Make out. Go further. Whatever. I'm not picky. Listen to music. Yeah, let's do that."

I just smiled at him. "You're really cute sometimes."

"Bella."

Reaching over, I stole one of his fries. Owen just stared at me though, not seeming to care.

"What do you wanna do after this?" I asked him.

"Thought you wanted to go to the mall?"

"Do you have money for the mall?" I took a sip of my drink before saying, "I only have twenty dollars."

"I've got money. I've always got money."

I shook my head. "You've been buying me a lot of things recently though. Are you sure-"

"Yeah, Annabel, because you're my girlfriend," he cut me off. "Why wouldn't I buy you things? That's what boyfriends do."

"Not as much as you buy me. Especially since we just broke up-"

"For the last time, Annabel, we did not break up."

I frowned, glancing down at his injured hand again before back at him. Deciding that changing the subject was my best bet, I asked, "Have you changed your bandage today?"

Owen slipped his right hand under the table, probably hiding it from me. "No. Not yet."

"Bear, you know that you have to do that. You'll get an-"

"Infection. Yes, I know."

"I just don't want that to happen, Owen. I worry about you."

He gave me a weird look for that. "Do you?"

"Well, yeah. You've been really…different recently. You're either really happy or really sad. And whichever you are is subject to a frequent change. It's scary, Owen." I cleared my throat, knowing that he was about to get upset with me. "You're not in the same mindset for longer than an hour. And then you told me about how in Arizona you tried

to-"

"I told you that in private. Between us."

"And it's still between us," I assured him. "It's all between us. This is about us, after all. Me and you."

Owen just shook his head, sighing slightly. "I just don't think I'm that bad."

"I know. You are though. Sometimes."

"If you say so."

"I'm not picking on you," I assured him. "I'm just trying to make sure you're okay."

Owen wouldn't speak to me now, instead focusing on finishing his food. Which was fine. I wasn't expecting to get much out of him anyways.

* * *

"Have you thought any about what Sophie was saying?"

"Hmmm?"

I shifted on Owen's bed so that I was facing him. He was laying on his side, just staring at me. Well, he had been stroking my stomach, but when I rolled over I ruined that.

"About…Will?"

"You didn't do shit to him. If he really got his ass kicked, good."

"But why would they beat him up though?"

"Who cares?" Owen kissed me then, now taking to playing with my hair. "Hope he dies in the fucking coma."

"Bear-"

"Annabel, you didn't do anything. He did. He's in there for what he did. And not even fully because of you. There were other girls too, huh?"

"Yeah."

"So why does it matter?"'

"I dunno," I said, looking off. "I just…"

"Sophie's a bitch."

"Bear-"

"She is," he said. "And I know you have to fight your own battles or whatever, but when she came up on you like that I just-"

"I know."

"It's not like I'd hit a girl or anything. I just wasn't going to let her talk to you like that." Then he smiled. "Although, I guess you could have always just puked on her."

"Mmmm." I shut my eyes at the memory. "I hate doing that. Throwing up. It makes me feel so nasty."

"Have you always done that?"

"Since I was a kid. It used to make my mother mad. I'd throw up whenever she was yelling at me. Or when I started crying really hard." I shook my head at the memory as I opened my eyes once more. "Since I got older though, it's just when I, you know, get in a confutation."

"My poor Bella." Owen reached out, stroking my face. "You're okay now. And none of that was your fault anyways. At all. She's just hurt and is taking it out on you."

"I didn't even know they were still together," I mumbled then, not able to meet his eyes. "I thought that she-"

"It'll do you no good to think about it. Cash and that chick aren't worth thinking about. At all."

Reaching out, I pressed a hand into his chest though I still couldn't look into his green eyes. "Could you imagine if we really did break up? I wouldn't have been able to handle Sophie today."

"You can handle anything. You're one of the toughest people I know."

"Bear-"

"You are." He reached down then, moving to drag my chin up so I was looking at him. "You faced him, didn't you? You went through that whole first semester letting everyone think you were a…" He cleared his throat before whispering the word whore. "You went through all of that, alone for the most part. That took strength. A lot of it. You think that little stuck up, insecure _bitch_ has anything on you? Can touch you? No. I'll tell you myself she can't and you know I don't lie. If I wasn't with you, you'd be just fine."

"You think so?"

He leaned down to kiss my head. "I know so."

I wanted to tell him then that I loved him, but I didn't get a chance to as my phone rang. Groaning, I moved to pull it out of my pocket.

"Crap. It's Dad," I told Owen. "Should I answer it?"

"Well, yeah."

"Should I tell him that I…skipped?"

"You know that I don't support lying."

"Shut up, Owen," I finally said, frowning at him before answering the phone. "Hello?"

"You know, Annabel, when I get home from work, the last thing I want is a call from the school saying that you were absent today."

"Dad-"

"So you did skip."

I realized that with that one word I had come off as defensive. I was caught. Why make it worse?

"Yes."

"You-"

"But Dad, I haven't been absent at all this year."

"And?"

"And I'm eighteen. Can't I make decisions for-"

"When's the last time you paid for your own gas, Annabel? Your cell phone bill? So you need to drop this adult act."

"Dad, I went to school."

"You just told me-"

"Owen and I got there and then Sophie came up to me while we were at his locker, yelling about how horrible I am."

"What are you talking about?"

I sat up, not wanting to look at Owen as I spoke on the phone with my father. I felt awkward, just knowing I was in bed with my boyfriend while speaking with him. As if my dad could know, just from the sound of my voice.

"Will Cash got beaten up in jail apparently, pretty badly. He's in a coma or something. And she was yelling at me and I just…"

I could hear even through the phone my father's anger-freeing sigh. As the breath expelled from his body, so did his annoyance with me.

"Annnabel, you can't skip school."

"I know."

"You should have called me. What happened? Did she-"

"She just started yelling at me and then I got sick."

"Sick?"

"I had to throw up or whatever," I said, blushing. "So I ran to the bathroom. And when I got out, she was gone."

"If she was gone why did you-"

"Owen thought that we should just-"

"Right. The boyfriend," he said dryly.

"Daddy-"

"Don't you 'daddy' me."

"But-"

He let out another sigh. "You're lucky I'm in such a good mood."

"I know."

"And if your mother finds out about this, she'll try to ground you."

"I know."

"She doesn't understand things like I do."

I blinked at that one. "Oh."

"And if you don't tell her, I won't."

"I don't think that's a good idea," I told him. "I don't want to lie to her."

Owen wrapped his arms around my center then, chuckling softly.

"Annabel-"

"You can tell her," I said. "I don't want you lying to her for me."

"She'll try to ground you," he warned.

"And you'll just tell her she shouldn't. Right, Daddy?"

"Annabel-"

"I didn't plan on skipping," I told him. "Honest. Sophie was just so-"

"Do I need to call the school?"

"Huh?"

"About this girl bothering you. Because I will. I'll-"

"Dad, I'm not a little kid."

"I know that, but-"

"Just…" I looked down at Owen who was staring back up at me. "I've got it, okay?"

"I'm not going to let her-"

"I've got it," I repeated. "And if I need you, I'll tell you. Besides, I have to learn to do things on my own eventually, don't I?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I suppose you do."

After my father hung up, Owen immediately wanted to know what was said. I just told him that Dad wasn't mad and that he understood. It would just be my mother I had to explain myself to.

"You really do never get in trouble, huh?"

"Owen-"

"I'm just saying."

"You haven't been grounded either, since the beginning of the year."

"Yeah, I know."

"Record?"

"You have no idea."

I laid back down with him, planning on napping. Owen apparently liked this idea. Not that this was shocking. He had music on in the background of course and would just listen to it if he got bored.

We slept for a good two hours before his mother came home. The second he heard her enter the house, Owen left to go speak with her. I just laid there in his bed, unconcerned. I had just gotten away with skipping school. Nothing could touch me now. I was invincible.

"Mom bought us food," Owen said when he came back into the room, carrying two takeout boxes. "Salads though."

"Ooh."

"Ew," he corrected as I sat up. Handing me one of the boxes, he said, "Wonder how she knew you were here."

"Where else would I be?"

Owen just smiled, sitting down next to me as he gave me a plastic fork. "Mom wants me to start eating better."

"So do I."

"You want to eat better or you-"

"I want you to eat better."

"Shut up."

"I do." I shrugged slightly. "You kinda act like a pig sometimes. You know?"

Owen made a face at me, but I just smiled at him. At least I had let him down easy, I suppose. Besides, he's the one that likes honesty so much.

"Not all of us can be as hot as you, Annabel."

"No, you can't."

Reaching over, he tapped my nose. "You're annoying."

"Only 'cause I love you so much."

We ate in silence after that. Or, well, I ate. Owen mostly just sat there, picking at his salad. I could tell he didn't like it, but I knew he wouldn't when he first came into the room. Once we were done though, I offered to take the trash to the kitchen, as I was headed to the bathroom anyways. Owen told me to put his leftovers (which were over half the meal) in the fridge; his mother would eat it later.

"Hello, Annabel."

I smiled at Owen's mother as I came into the kitchen. "Hi. Thank you for the salad."

"Of course," she said, staying seated at the kitchen table as she watched me walk over to the fridge. "I suppose my son didn't finish his?"

"He said that you could eat it later, if you wanted."

"Mmmm." She smiled at me suddenly, but it was a fake one. Those were probably the only ones she had left at this point though. "We got all the windows replaced that Owen broke. We still need a new bathroom mirror and he has to plaster that wall."

I glanced at her before going over to the trash to throw my stuff away. "Yeah, his wound was pretty nasty."

"He told me you've been bandaging it."

I blushed slightly. "Yeah. I just don't want it to get infected or anything. He had only wrapped it and gotten the glass out. He'd never poured peroxide or anything over it."

She shook her head. "I don't even know why he did it that night. He told me it just got to be too much. But what happened? Do you know?"

"Well…" I sighed, finally looking full on at her. "He and I kinda got into a fight."

For a moment, Teresa just stared at me. Then slowly, she said, "I see."

Her phone ringing saved me from anymore embarrassment. Thank God. I just knew that under her gaze I'd spill the beans on the whole 'Let's runaway together' fiasco. Maybe it's not that Owen likes to tell the truth, maybe it's just that he can't lie to her. I know I sure can't.

* * *

"You're lucky that I'm helping you. I really shouldn't be. I don't even think you and Owen should be together. At all."

"Thanks, Whitney," I said, making a face at her as I continued to roll the pie crust as instructed. "But Owen needs me. And I love him."

"I never thought you would turn into one of _those girls_." Then she paused. "Well, actually, yes, I did. I just thought it'd be for a better looking guy."

The two of us were in the kitchen, working on all of Owen's desserts for the next day. That's right. I was spending my Friday night baking. So yeah. Owen had work anyways. And after, he was going to spend some time with his sister. So I really had nothing better to do.

"Like Lucas?" I practically sang.

"Shut up. I will stop helping you," she said, glancing around to make sure that Mom or Dad weren't around to have overheard me. "I mean it."

I just shook my head at her. "I was only joking."

"I know." She sighed loudly. "How much does this boy eat anyways?"

"A lot."

"I can tell."

"I'm going to bring him the cookies in the morning, then we'll come over to my house for lunch. I'm making it. Then we'll eat some of the pie. Then we'll go out to dinner or over to his house, where we'll then have cake afterwards."

She sighed. "You're giving me a headache."

I just continued smiling. "After what he did for me on my birthday, I just have to do a lot, you know?"

"I guess. You're apparently both psychos anyways."

"How?"

She didn't say anything though, just continuing to mix the cake mix in the bowl. After a minute though, she asked, "What are you making him for lunch?"

"Burgers and fries."

She just stared at me. "On the grill?"

"Yes."

"You're going to grill your boyfriend burgers."

"Yeah. He'll think that's hot, right?"

"…And Dad knows that you'll be using his grill?"

I shrugged. "Can't be too hard. You put the patty on there, let it sit. Flip it. Let it sit. Done. Right?"

"Do you even know what kind of grill we have?"

"Um…a nice one?"

"I meant charcoal or propane."

"…Propane?"

"Why are you asking me for?"

"I thought you knew."

"No. That's why I was asking if you did."

I waved her off. "I'll ask Dad later. He tells me yes to everything anyways."

"Yeah, I know." Shaking her head, she said, "I heard about the whole skipping school thing."

I rolled my eyes. "I skipped one day."

"If Kirsten and I-"

"Kirsten skipped constantly. Especially her senior year."

"And she got punished for it."

"Kirsten also did drugs, had a lot of sex, and also snuck out." I made a face at Whitney. "So maybe you could stop comparing her to me."

We both fell silent again. I really didn't want to piss Whitney off, knowing that without her, there was no way my dessert would get made. Baking is hard work. Like seriously.

Whitney left me eventually, telling me the times everything needed to cook and what temperatures. She mocked me for writing them down, but then I told her about that casserole Dad and I burnt a few weeks back and she left me alone.

"A card."

"Hmmm?"

"I got a card for my birthday. And I helped make you."

I cringed as my father came into the kitchen. I was icing Owen's cake at that point. "Why do you always say it that way?"

He just came up behind me, laying his hand on my shoulder. "I still don't like this boy. After what he called you-"

"Dad, just stop, okay?"

He let out a long breath. "Your mother mentioned you were making lunch tomorrow?"

"I'm making Owen and my lunch, yes."

"What are you making?"

"Burgers."

"Oh."

"…So can you teach me how to use the grill?"

"Annabel-"

"Please? I want it to be perfect."

"I guess I could you," Dad gave in as I handed him the nearly empty container of frosting so that he could eat what was caught on the sides. "If you really wanted me to."

"Great! And can you also, kind of, you know, teach me how to make fries too?"

"Annabel-"

"I bought potatoes."

He just leaned down, kissing the top of my head. "You're lucky I love you so much."

I smiled up at him. "Thanks, Dad."

"So if you two are eating lunch and dinner together, what are you doing for breakfast?"

I frowned. "I forgot about that."

"I'm sure he can just-"

"I'll tell him to come over around seven. I'll make him eggs. He likes those."

"You don't think that you're putting too much into this?"

"No. Why?" I looked at him. "Do you?"

"It just seems like you're making a lot of food for someone who doesn't like to cook. Shouldn't you have just gotten him something?"

"Dad, Owen likes food. Like a lot. What better to make him than food?"

"I guess."

"You just don't know him like I do."

"And for that, I'm more than glad."

* * *

"It's good, Bell."

"They're burnt."

"N-"

"You know you can't lie."

Owen shrugged as he took another bite of his burger. "When you cover it in ketchup, you can hardly tell."

I just bit my thumbnail, staring down at my own plate. "Dad was helping me, but he got called into work."

"I know, Bell. I was here."

I shook my head slightly. "The fries are nasty too."

"Would you stop saying that stuff? It's great. Just like the eggs and sausage were this morning."

Again, I shook my head. "I just feel like I should have-"

"I'm eating it, aren't I? I'm telling you I like it, aren't I?" Owen smiled at me. "So calm down, huh?"

"I just wanted it to be perfect."

"And what hasn't been perfect so far?"

"You're eighteen now and all you've gotten right now is a crappy burger."

"For the last time, Annabel, I like the lunch you made. Thank you very much."

We were sitting at the kitchen table, both my parents out. Mom had left early in the morning, knowing that Owen and I would probably want some privacy for his birthday. Dad though had lingered around all throughout the morning until he got called away. Now it was just me, Owen, and the burnt burgers.

"Most guys go to, like, strip clubs or something when they turn eighteen."

Owen frowned. "I can get into one of those now."

I just sighed, staring down sadly at my food. "Might as well. Bet they have better food."

"Stop with the self-pity. God. It's a good freaking burger." He was starting to get annoyed with me. "Is it the best burger I've ever eaten? No. Not even close."

I just blinked, deciding to wait for him to get the point before I just went to get the noose.

"But do I like it? Yeah, Annabel, I do. I like that you made it for me. And I'm really gonna like that pie you mentioned we'd get afterwards."

"I'm sure they suck just as much."

"I doubt it. I mean, you did say that Whitney helped."

I just moaned, moving to lay my head down on the table.

"It was a joke, Annabel."

"I just wanted this to be good for you."

"It's been freaking great so far. And we still have the rest of the day together."

"More chances for me to fuck up."

"Bella, I didn't nail your birthday either. I told you I hated you and hit you with a door. That was bad. A burnt burger? Not nearly." He took another bite of it. "Sometimes you're really over dramatic."

After our burnt lunch, Owen and I headed into the living room to eat the pie I made him. I let him pick out whichever movie he wanted, which ended up being some action film that my dad liked. I checked out though, instead just snoozing against Owen's arm the whole time.

When the movie ended, I was mostly asleep. Still, I forced myself to get up and follow Owen to my bedroom, knowing it was his day. I couldn't just sleep on his birthday. Before we went to my room though, we stopped off in the bathroom to take care of his daily hand wrapping.

"It looks like it's getting better," I told him after I unwrapped the gauze. Owen just stood there, watching me.

"You're very attentive with this."

I leaned up and kissed him. "Attentive isn't a very big word, but it's a high vocabulary word."

He just smiled. "Just so long as you kiss me, I don't care."

I stroked his healing wounds gently, watching his face as he watched mine. "Do you feel eighteen?"

"I dunno."

"I didn't feel eighteen either."

He just reached up with his injured hand, wrapping it around my face right over my mouth. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but was too nervous to ask.

"Bella." He stepped up, staring down at me as he held onto my face. Was he trying to suffocate me? Or something? "I love you."

I just stared up at him, waiting for him to release me. When he did, I smiled at him.

"You do the weirdest things, you know that?"

"Just hurry and wrap my hand so we can go listen to music."

"Just listen to music?"

Owen shrugged. "Whatever you wanna do."

"It's your birthday, you know."

"And you're my girlfriend. I figure I should just let you choose what we do."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, you seem to have the day pretty planned out already, huh?" He frowned slightly as I went to get the rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide. "Do we really have to use that again?"

"Yes, Bear, we do."

"If you insist."

"I do."

When we finally made it to my bedroom, Owen immediately went to work finding the best possible CD to fit the moment. I just laid on the bed, watching him, worried about what he planned for us to do home all alone. I was even more scared of how far I was willing to let us go.

"Oh, Bell."

I smiled as he laid down on the bed, me curling up on my side next to him. "We're adults now."

"Yeah. Now you can send me naked photos."

"…I think that's a record."

"For what?"

"The fasts you've ruined a moment."

"Could be."

"Nearly one hundred percent sure."

Owen smiled at me. "I wish I could have gotten us concert tickets or something."

"You don't like my food idea?"

"Oh, no. Anytime you wanna make me large quantities of food, go ahead."

Giggling, I laid a hand on his chest. "You're a man now."

"Baby, I've been a man."

"Mmmm." I stared into his eyes. "Your mom didn't want to do something for your eighteenth birthday?"

"I told her that I wanted to spend the day with you."

"She wasn't mad?"

Owen shrugged. "You know her and I haven't been getting along well."

"Did she get you anything?"

"She got me a card and twenty bucks."

"Oh."

"So…are you gonna give me something?"

"Maybe."

"…Can I pick?"

"What do you want, Bear?"

"Naked pic-"

"Do you have to ruin everything?"

* * *

"I thought you couldn't eat cake, Ms. Armstrong?"

"Why did you think that, Annabel?"

"Well, I used eggs in the-"

She sat her plate down, frowning at me. "I didn't realize you had-"

"Well, Owen likes them so much I just thought-"

"The baby bird's dead anyway, Mom. Might as well enjoy him." Owen kept eating his piece of cake, smiling as he chewed. "Can I get my presents now, Annabel?"

It was after dinner and after stopping my house to get Owen's presents and cake, we headed to his house. Of course we ate dinner at World of Waffles, but I couldn't fault Owen after he ate my disgusting burgers. Plus, that was his favorite place to eat and it was his birthday.

"Ooh, your aunt came by today and left you a gift. And your father's present came in the mail today."

"Really?" Owen took her discarded cake as she left the room to get the aforementioned gifts. "Did Grandpa send me anything? And Grandma Jenny? And-"

"Not yet, Owen," I heard her call back, sounding annoyed. Owen just shrugged before looking at me.

"Okay, Bella. Gifts."

"Right." I went into the living room, grabbing the big box that I had put everything in. You know, as a throwback to how he gave me my gifts. "Here you go."

"Is this going to be our thing? Boxes?"

"I hope not."

"Me too."

"Hurry before your mom gets back."

"So it is a picture."

"Bear."

He just opened the box, pulling the first thing out that I figured he would. The stack of CDs.

"What kind of-"

"Some that Whitney suggested, some I found at a garage sale, and one of them is one I made you."

"Can I go listen to-"

"Finish your gifts, Owen."

Sighing, he sat his precious CDs to the side before reaching into the box again.

"You bought me new boots?"

I nodded. "I hope they're the right size. I asked your Mom before I bought them, so I'm pretty sure they are."

"They're nice."

"I know."

Owen looked back up at me, smiling. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Bear."

Setting those next to the CDs, he pulled out the baseball cap I bought him. "The Diamondbacks?"

"That's that little team you like, right?"

He just nodded. "R and R, but yes."

I smiled at him. "So you like it."

"It's great." He pulled the shirt out as well. "I don't know this band."

"It's one of those CDs."

"Oh. Can I go listen to-"

"Just finish going through the box."

Lastly, Owen pulled out the note I had written him. At that same moment though, his mother had come in, so he went ahead and tossed it onto the table, hiding it underneath his new t-shirt.

"Okay, your aunt sent these and your dad sent this." She sat some CDs in Owen's hand from Cam and a box from his dad. "I have no idea what your dad sent though. It is your eighteenth birthday though, so I highly doubt I want to know."

Owen just sat back in the chair he was in before glancing through the CDs that his aunt sent. Then he moved on to the box.

"Concert tickets, CDs, and a videogame." Owen pulled all of those things out before smiling. "And a hundred dollars."

"What?" His mother frowned. "He said that he… Owen, I would have given you more. I just don't-"

"With a note," Owen continued. "He says that he plans to see me over Christmas break."

His mother sighed. "About that-"

"Well, he's crazy, 'cause I'm gonna be here, so whatever." Owen stood then, gathering his stuff. "Help me take these things to my room, Bell."

"Actually, Owen, I'm gonna go see if Mallory wants to some cake," I said, cutting her a piece. Then I glanced at his mother. "If that's okay."

Nodding slightly, Teresa told me, "She should be awake."

Owen grunted, heading up the stairs with only the CDs.

"Owen, you can carry more than that," his mother scolded.

"I'll get the other stuff," he assured her. "Just…after I finish looking at these."

"I give up," she sighed. I just smiled at her before heading p the stairs as well, though my destination was the bedroom across from Owen's.

"Annabel!"

"Hey, Mal." I smiled as I came into her bedroom, carrying a piece of Owen's cake with me. "I was about to head home and thought I should ask you if you wanted some cake first."

She shook her head, watching me as I came closer. "I'm not hungry."

"Well, I'll just leave this here in case you get hungry later," I told her, setting the plate down on the nightstand. "There's pie too. And cookies."

She frowned. "You made him all that?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Was that all you got him? Food?"

"No." I pulled her desk chair over to her bedside before taking a seat. "I got him some CDs that he's checking out now, a new baseball cap, and a new pair of boots."

"Boots?"

"He loves those for some reason."

She nodded. "Boots are good. But not the kind Owen likes."

I just smiled at her. "Remember that thing we talked about last time?"

She glanced behind me to make sure that the door was shut. "Darien?"

"Owen knows."

"You told-"

"No. He came to me first, asking if I knew anything about him."

She groaned. "That's why he's been so weird."

"Yeah."

"I don't know why he thinks he can tell me what to do."

"He's just worried about you is all."

"I haven't even seen Darien in weeks."

"I know."

"He's stopped texting me too."

"Then he's stupid."

She just shrugged, looking off. "Some of my friends came to see me today."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

"You know, Mal, if you ever want to talk to me, you have my number."

"I know."

"And Owen's only looking out for you."

"I know." She smiled at me. "Did you make the cake?"

"Yes, I did."

"Then maybe I'll try to eat some later. I bet it'll be good."

"Thank you."

When I got back to Owen, he still had yet to bring any of the other stuff upstairs, instead stationing himself in front of his stereo to play all the CDs he had gotten.

"Are you actually going to pay attention to me or should I just go home now?"

Owen motioned me over, smiling when I sat in his lap. "I love you."

"More than your music?"

"Don't put words in my mouth now."

I giggled, wrapping an arm around his neck. "You haven't even read my note yet."

"Are you detailing why we should break up in it?"

"No."

"Then it can wait." He kissed my neck. "It won't say anything I don't already know."

"What if I told you how much I loved you in it?"

"Know that."

"How sad I was when we broke up?"

"We didn't break up, so that would be a false statement."

I just giggled, kissing his cheek. "Happy birthday, Bear."

"Thank you."

"Did you think we'd have sex today?"

"No. Not really."

"It'd have been one hell of a present."

"…Are you taunting me or-"

"Oh, Bear."

"What'd you and Mal talk about?"

"Nothing."

"Are you lying to me?"

"Would I ever lie to you?"

"Yes. Now are you?"

"You didn't even think before saying that."

"With good reason. I know you."

I shifted in his lab slightly, smiling as one of his hands found its way to my stomach. "So what are you gonna do with all that money you got?"

"Buy more CDs."

"Owen."

"Well, you asked."

"I know. My mistake."

* * *

**I was sitting there, writing yet another oneshot for Maximum Ride, when I realized I hadn't updated Comfort over a week. And what better than a snow day to get that done? Well, an ice day here in Texas, but as a senior, I'll take anything to get out of school these days. **


	9. Chapter 9

Comfort

Chapter 9

"No."

"What? Dad-"

"No."

"Andrew, listen to her-"

"No," he repeated, shaking his head at me. "No. You and that boy-"

"He's not just some boy, Dad. He's Owen."

He just stared at me for a second before repeating, "No."

We were standing in our kitchen, me having just planned on quickly asking my parents permission for Owen to come over while they were out at their Halloween party. I had expected such a quick yes that I hadn't even considered what I'd do if they said no. Dad says no to me so rarely that it always kind of shocks my system.

"Why not?"

"Why not, Annabel? Why not?" He shook his head at me. "I have one daughter pregnant already. You think that I'm just going to let that boy-"

"Owen. His name is Owen. And he comes over without you here all the time." I crossed my arms. "You just don't like him now because apparently you like me moping around the house better than me being happy."

He clapped his hands together. "Yes, Annabel. That's completely it."

"Dad-"

"Andrew-"

"No. He can't come over."

"Fine," I said. "Then I'll go over to-"

"You're staying here and passing out candy. You got candy when you were a kid, now it's time to give back."

"Then Owen will just come over while you're gone anyways."

"You-"

"Now stop it," Mom said, frowning at both of us. "I mean it."

We both just stood there for a second, my defiance showing just from the way I was standing. I knew I was being a brat, but it wasn't fair of him to be able to change my plans like that when any other time, it'd have been no problem for Owen to come over. God, it's times like this that I wished I just told him nothing about my life and kept it that way. Things were so much easier when I told him nothing.

"That's Owen," I said as the doorbell rang.

"You invited him without asking for?" Dad shook his head at me. "Unbelievable. You are spoiled."

"Andrew!" Mom hit him in the arm. "Gosh."

"What, Grace? You say it all the time." Dad glared at me. "He's not come in."

"Dad-"

"No."

"It's not fair," I said, crossing my arms. "You let Kirsten go to parties and Whitney go to other people's houses for Halloween. Why does it matter if I'm home alone with Owen? We could do just as much at a party as we could do here."

"Don't say things like that," Dad complained, shutting his eyes tightly. I still just stared at him though, willing myself to cry a little. I really wanted Owen to come over, after all.

"We're just going to watch movies," I told him, my voice softer now. "Please, Daddy? Just movies and pass out candy. It's not like we'll be able to do anything anyways. The doorbell'll be ringing constantly. Please?"

Just then the doorbell rang again. That was just Owen though.

"Please, Daddy?"

He just waved me off, clearly angry, but having no way of stopping me. It's a hard thing to realize, that everyone else is right, you are spoiled, but when you're getting your way at the moment anyways, who cares?

"Hey, Bella," Owen said as I opened the door. He kissed my cheek before giving me the pizza box and soda he was holding. Then he moved to take off his boots. "Took you long enough to answer the door."

"Is that a complaint?"

"No." He took the pizza back from me before heading further into the house. "It was an observation."

"A rude one."

"A true one."

Dad cleared his throat as we came into the kitchen. Owen just glanced at him.

"Hi," Owen said, nodding at both my parents as he sat the pizza and soda down.

"Hello, Owen," Mom greeted him when it was clear my father wouldn't. "Andrew, perhaps you should go put on your costume now?"

"I'm not wearing one. I told you that."

"I just thought that you should-"

"I told you, Grace, I'm not going to. You know that. I never do."

Owen glanced at me, but I just moved to get us each a plate and a glass of soda. After getting our food, he and I headed into the living room, me moving to put a horror movie in the DVD player.

"Everything alright?" Owen asked me as we both sat down on the couch, a reasonable distance away from one another. I had won, sure, but that could change at any moment.

"Fine."

He smiled at me as the movie started. "Alright then."

My parents hung around for another hour or so before leaving. Dad made sure to warn me again against any fooling around. I'm serious. In front of Owen too! Then my mother made sure to leave the bowl of candy by the door, making us swear to pass it out. It was only when we were sure that they were gone that we could finally relax.

"You comfy?"

I just snuggled into Owen, my feet up on the other end of the couch. "Mmmm."

Smiling down at me, he said, "When that doorbell starts ringing, you're answering it."

"No, you are."

"I'm the guest."

"I'm the girlfriend."

"Hmmm. Quite the predicament."

"Indeed."

"We should take turns," he suggested.

"I'm not really feeling that."

"It is your house."

"Fine," I gave in, snuggling back against him. I knew that after about getting up five times, I'd just tell Owen to take care of the rest and be off the hook. He'd always give into me. That was just a done deal.

Owen sighed as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, texting someone. I still just leaned into his side, absently reaching back to grab the cell phone, pulling it gently from his hands.

"What are you doing?"

"Who are you talking to?"

"Rolly. He went to a party."

"Mmmm." I looked up, turning my head to look back at him. "Clarke broke up with her boyfriend."

"Oh."

"James, Owen."

"Oh."

"Yeah. He was cheating on her."

"No shocker there."

"Mmmm."

When the doorbell rang, I got up to go pass out candy, Owen getting back to texting. When I returned, I sat away from him slightly, sitting up straight now, as to make it an easy for him to get up. Not that I was hinting him along or anything.

"This was a dumb idea," Owen grumbled to me thirty minutes later when we'd had to get up ten times at least. "Watching a movie while passing out candy."

"Oh, like you're really watching it." Reaching over, I stroked one of his hands as he started texting again. He hardly paid attention though, instead engrossed in what he was doing. "Bear."

"Hmmm?"

"If you wanted to be with Rolly-"

"I would be with him." He smiled. "I'm with you tonight."

"Would you be texting me all night if you chose to be with him?"

"Probably."

"Owen," I complained, moving now to mess with the screen of his phone. I navigated it back to the main screen before going to his text messages.

"What are you doing?" he asked, allowing me to do as I wanted. That's one of the things I liked about Owen; he'd show me anything.

"Rolly told me that you've been texting Clarissa," I said, opening up their set of texts.

"Yeah. So?"

"We never texted before we started dating."

"You never gave me your number."

"You never asked for it."

"Have you seen you, Annabel?"

"Excuse me?"

"No, I meant it in a good way." He looked at my face. "You were out of my league. You _are_ out of my league. I like honesty, but setting myself up for rejection isn't my strong suit."

I was reading through their texts now, no longer paying much mind to him. Owen wasn't uncomfortable with this and even gave me the phone to continue going through as he got up to pass out candy when the doorbell rang. Their texts were so boring though. The two of them together were boring. It was all about music. Oh, and Clarissa constantly complimenting him on his musical tastes.

"I don't know if I like you texting another girl," I told him as he got back. Owen just headed into the kitchen to get more pizza. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes." He came back with more soda too. "I did."

"Then you'll stop?"

"No."

"Owen-"

"Clarissa and I are friends."

"She likes you."

"So?"

"You won't let me be friends with guys."

"You are friends with guys. A guy, really. Rolly."

"Owen-"

"The difference is, Annabel, that you like Kyle and James. That's who you're talking about, right?" When I nodded, he said, "You like them. You would have tried to date one of them if it wasn't for me."

"You-"

"I like you and only you."

"Bull."

"Fine. I like you and other girls out of my league."

"Owen-"

"Like way out of it. Like ones that would be out of yours if you swung that way."

"You-"

"So, in short, I'm going to keep texting Clarissa and you're going to stop getting so jealous."

"Oh, yeah, like out of the two of us, I'm the jealous one."

"Thank you for acknowledging that."

"Snoogie," I whined, looking at some of his other texts now.

"I'm not going to stop talking to my only fan."

"Aren't I your fan?"

"You're my girlfriend."

I just made a noise as the doorbell rang again.

"Uh, Bell? It's kinda your turn."

"I'm reading, Bear."

"I don't like you sometimes."

"Yeah, I know."

As he left to go pass out more candy, I read through some of the texts he had sent to his father. I tried my hardest not to. Really, I did. Still, I'm nosey. I can't help it sometimes.

"You are really not respecting my privacy, are you?" Owen took his seat once more when he finished at the front door, frowning. "Give me your phone."

"No."

"Now, Annabel. It's only fair."

"Fine, you big baby." I handed him my phone.

"Password?"

"I didn't ask you for-"

"Because it's the same one as all my other passwords. NES. Just in numbers, cause it's a phone."

"So?"

"Annabel-"

"Mine is one of those dot thingies," I told him, moving to show him the pattern I draw on the screen. "See?"

"Oh." He started with my photos first for some reason. This made me frown and move to look at his photos.

"I'm not gonna stumble upon any nudes, am I?"

Owen frowned, shaking his head no. "Am I? 'cause God I hope so."

"Owen." I shifted to lean against him again. His photos were all the ones I'd seen before and I quickly went back to his conversation with his father. "You're mean to your dad."

"Shut up."

"You are."

"And you're not yours?"

"My dad loves me. More than yours does you."

He shoved me off him. "Fuck off then."

"It was a j-"

"It's not funny."

"Owen-"

"Shut up."

Why had he suddenly gotten like that? Reaching over, Owen snatched his phone from me before pocketing it.

"You don't know anything."

"I really don't," I told him. "Why are you so upset?"

"My dad doesn't hate me."

"I didn't say that."

"You said-"

"God, Owen, do you really think he does?"

Shrugging, he shifted away from me. "I don't know."

"Why would you think that?"

Again, I just got a shrug.

"Owen-"

"Over the summer, when Mom got really back into drinking, she started telling me stuff. About how he didn't want-"

"That's not true."

"You didn't even hear what I said."

"It doesn't matter." Shifted so that I was facing him full on, pulling my legs under me on the couch. "I met your dad, Owen."

"Okay."

"He loves you."

"You don't-"

"He does," I insisted. "How could he not? You're freaking amazing. I love you. And I don't even know you the way he does. He's your dad, Owen."

"He let us come up here and didn't even try to fight it."

"And you know as well as I do that if you asked to go stay with him, he'd let you. I'm sure he just let you go because of your mother, that he didn't want to argue with her."

"He didn't want to fight for us."

"If you said at any point you wanted to stay in Arizona, I know he'd have fought for you. You didn't. You hated Arizona."

"I hate here too."

"Now you do," I corrected. "Before though, it was a new start. A new chance. Then you screwed it up."

"Annabel-"

"Well, you did. You got in fights and stuff."

He just glanced at me. "That's not my fault."

"It is your fault, dinky."

"Stop calling me that."

"Bear-"

"I mean it."

"Why are you so mad at me?"

"You said-"

"It was a freaking joke, Owen. And if you can't take a joke, just leave. Go to that stupid party with Rolly, get drunk, drive home, and die in a car crash."

We both sat there for a moment. Then Owen looked at me.

"That was a tad harsh."

"A tad?"

He kissed my cheek. "Just don't talk about my parents, alright?"

"You talk about my dad all the time."

"When you bring him up. I've never just told you I think your dad's a dick. Do I? Yes. But I don't tell you until you mention him."

I just glanced out the front of the house as I saw another group of kids approach. "You've just been so uptight recently. It was a small joke. Hardly a joke at all. You have no patience anymore."

"Oh, whatever," he said, getting up to pass out candy now.

"You are, Owen. I never know what sets you off anymore. You're always so up and down. It's really annoying."

"Oh and you're not?"

"Just answer the door."

While Owen was gone, I turned off the movie before moving to lay down on the couch. He was being a jerk. I was just kidding. Not everything was that serious. God.

"What happened to the movie?" Owen asked when he got back.

"It was stupid."

"Oh." He stared at me for a moment. "Where do I get to sit?"

"Figure it out."

"Bella-"

"You were being mean."

He just groaned, moving to lift my head up and slip underneath it. My head in his lap once more, I shut my eyes, sighing slightly.

"Halloween sucks."

"Tomorrow's November."

"Take you eighteen years to understand that, Bear?"

"I just meant that we're even closer to Thanksgiving break."

"Mmmm. What are you doing for it?"

"Last year we went to my grandparents house. Had dinner or whatever."

"And this year?"

"Well, Mal's sick, so I doubt we're going anywhere." He stroked my hair gently. "'sides, I was kinda planning on having dinner with my girlfriend."

"Was she planning on having dinner with you is the real question."

"Only she can answer that."

"That's true." I smiled a little bit. "Maybe he can come."

"Maybe?"

"If he stops being so uptight with me."

"He'll try."

"He'll do or else he'll be out one girlfriend."

"You drive a hard bargain."

"Yeah, well, does he accept?"

"Only he can answer that."

"That's true," I said, smiling bigger now. "So what does the dinky bear say?"

"To stop calling him dinky."

"I say it with endearment in my heart."

"I'm sure."

"Dinky. That might just replace Snoogie."

'Shut up."

"Dinky."

"I mean it."

I just closed my eyes again. "I love you, Bear."

"Love you too."

* * *

"It's, like, freezing."

"It's November, Bear."

"And?"

"Here, you want my jacket?"

"Annabel."

Giggling, I nodded back at the cafeteria. "You wanna eat inside today?"

"No. It's just cold is all."

I shifted on the wall as I took a bite of my sandwich. It was a few days later and we were having lunch as usual. He had actually shown up to school for a change, which was nice. We hadn't spent much time together since Halloween, so we hadn't had a chance to fight yet.

"Poor Bear. You're just not used to cold is all. You know, 'cause you're normally in hibernation by now."

"I think it's a little early for hibernation."

"For normal bears, sure, but you're a special bear."

"Bella, I'm touched."

"You're dinky."

He blinked before frowning at me. "You know I don't like that word."

"And anyways, I think bears go into hibernation as early as October."

"What makes you say that?"

"I might have been looking up bear facts the other day."

"For what purpose?"

I gave him a quick kiss for his semi-big word use. "To use against you."

"What other bear facts you got, babe?"

"Mmmm, there's eight species of bears."

"Only eight?"

"Only eight." I kissed him again, just for fun. "Polar bears are the best swimmers of all thee bears."

"Hmmm."

"Honestly, I think that you're a sloth bear."

"Mmmm…I think I'm a koala bear."

"That's not a real type of bear, Owen."

"What?"

"It's a marsupial."

"What is that?"

"I said I know bear facts, Bear, not marsupial facts."

"Then keep going."

"The largest species of bear is the brown bear." I poked him gently. "I almost decided you were that kinda bear, but then I figured sloth fit you better."

"Got anymore facts?"

"Bears walk flat footed as oppose to walking on their toes. That's how come they can walk up right." I went back to my lunch. "So there's some bear facts for you. I figured you should know, since that's your nickname and all."

"It is," he agreed, moving to cup the back of my neck with one hand. "Bella."

I blushed for some reason, as if this contact was so much worse than some of the other things we'd done. Still, he'd never done it and it kind of felt funny.

"I got in trouble today."

"What?" I looked at him. "When? Why didn't you mention it to me?"

"I dunno."

"Owen-"

"I just got sent to the principal's office is all. That assistant principal. The one who hates me."

Is it sad that I knew exactly who he was talking about? "Mr. Michaels."

"Yeah. Him. The prick."

"What'd you do?"

"Nothing. I just walked passed his office and he pulled me in there. Like right before fourth period."

"For what?"

"He just made me go in there and was all passive aggressive and stuff. He just made me sit there for awhile as he sat at his computer desk, looking at stuff. Then he started talking about how much school he saw I had missed and how if I kept it up, I'll get charged with truancy."

"What'd you tell him?"

"I'd just drop out if that happened."

"Owen, you can't talk to him that way."

"And why the heck not?"

"Because he's, like, your principal or whatever."

"So? That doesn't mean anything to me. If he was nice to me, I'd be nice to him. He's not though. He's always picking on me since I punched that guy in the parking lot that time. Well, he can get the heck over it."

"Bear."

"I'm serious. He can."

"I know that you're serious, Owen. I'm just telling you that you shouldn't be so rude to the man. That's all."

He snorted. "You just don't get it. You think the way they tell you to think. That you're always supposed to do what a guy like him says just 'cause he's older than you."

"That's called respect."

"And what respect has he given me?"

"It shouldn't matter."

"Yeah, it freaking matters."

"You just don't like him, Bear," I said dismissively.

"You're right, I don't."

"You're just so…stupid sometimes."

That made him frown at me. "I am not."

"Yes, you are. That's horribly disrespectful."

"Oh? And you aren't?"

"To Mr. Michaels? No."

"I meant to your father."

"Oh, whatever. I am not-"

"You told me all about how you weaseled him into letting me come over."

"He was out of line. I was just-"

"It's the same thing."

"It is not."

"Is too."

"Shut up, Owen. You should know by now that I don't like when you argue with me."

"I'm not arguing with you," he told me. "At all. I'm right and you're wrong. I'm not fighting for my point. I have no need to. I'm completely right. End of story."

"You're such a jerk."

Owen shrugged, looking down at his right hand before back up at me. "You coming over after school to wrap my cut?"

"No."

"Annabel-"

"It's almost healed anyways. You can take care of it on your own."

"What's wrong? You're mad at me now then?"

"No."

"Don't lie to me."

"Fine, Owen. Yes, I'm mad at you."

"Okay then." He went back to his Ipod, not interested otherwise.

"So what? That's just it?"

"That's it," he told me. "You're mad at me. I'm not mad at you. There's nothing to discuss."

"Oh, whatever."

Shrugging, he just turned up his music, completely ignoring me now. I hate when he did that. When we'd be in the middle of an argument, he'd sometimes just completely tune me out. Like my argument wasn't important; he'd already won. It was one of the most annoying things about him, I swear.

That and his obsession with music. That was pretty annoying too.

* * *

"I hate it here."

"Owen."

"I do. It's cold, now it's raining. I might as well be living in an icy hell. That's what this place is. Hell. I swear to God it is."

Leaning against the car door, I sighed loudly as I stared at the window. "It is coming down hard, I'll give you that."

"I just need to stop at the station," Owen told me. "Then I'm free for the day. Was there anything you need to drop off?"

"My shows are done for the week," I reminded him. "So no."

"'kay. You wanna go back to your place or mine?"

"I don't care, really. I just want to do something."

"Videogames it is."

"Owen."

"What? That's something to do. Something great to do."

I just moaned. "I have a headache."

"Poor Bella." He moved to turn his stereo up slightly. "Besides, when Dad came down last time, he brought my Xbox with him."

"I remember."

"You haven't even seen my Halo skills yet."

"I haven't. I don't even know what that is."

"Exactly why we should play it."

"Why can't you just work today?"

"Not nice," he said with what I was sure was accompanied with a glare, but I still had my eyes closed so there's no way to know for certain.

"Bear, I just wanna nap."

"Is that why you have a headache? You need to sleep?"

"I think so."

"Great. You can nap while I play videogames."

"Owen-"

"What else would I do?"

"Sleep with me."

"Bell, I've been trying to do that for months now."

That got me up, though it was only to hit his arm.

"Hey! I'm driving."

"Then don't say things like that when you're driving and you won't get hit. Simple."

"You get on my nerves sometimes."

"The feeling's mutual, babe."

"I'm not your babe," Owen said, frowning. "That's demeaning."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"What is it then when you call me babe?"

"Uh, try loving?"

"Shut up, Owen."

"See, sometimes, your tone kills the hell out of the mood."

"What kind of mood is this then?"

"Right now? Not a good one."

"You're an idiot."

"Stop calling me names."

"See?" I shook my head. "We shouldn't hangout today."

"We're just playing around, Annabel." He glanced at me. "Or at least I was. Weren't you?"

Shrugging, I moved to lean against the door once more. "Just never mind, Owen."

"Well, aren't you in a good mood?"

"A great one, actually, before I got in this car."

"What is up with you today? God, it's like I can do nothing right."

"I didn't say that."

"You've been acting that way since lunch. And then during last period you-"

"Stop copying off my homework and then I won't snap at you when you lose it."

"You're making over a ninety in there. I told you I'll bring it tomorrow."

"That's not the point. You-"

"I'm sorry, okay? God, are you really just mad about that?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"…You said that I'm mean to my father when you're, like, way worse to yours."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"How?"

"You freaking act like he's bothering you by wanting you to spend time with him. And then you're constantly yelling at him-"

"I might be rude to my father, fine, but you're the one acting like a spoiled brat to yours."

"For the last time, Owen, stop calling me spoiled."

"What? I can't tell the truth?"

"You want truth now? You want real truth?"

"Yes, I want-"

"I don't like being with you half the time we're together. I don't like fighting. I really don't. Yet you always fight with me."

"You-"

"You're just an overemotional, insecure, loser that just hits things instead of cries. You're freaking eighteen, Owen, and you hit a mirror when you got angry? Wow. Amazing. Grow up."

"Me grow up? You grow up. If it wasn't for me, you'd still be a little nothing with no friends. I'm the loser? Really now, Annabel? I'm the loser? You can hardly even speak to another person without hyperventilating. And forget disagreeing with someone. If I'm insecure, then you're apparently unable of living because- Are you crying?"

"No." I sniffled. "You big jerk."

Groaning as he turned into the radio station, he said, "Bella, I didn't mean it. Calm down."

"I hate you." I moved away when he tried to touch my knee. "How could you say that?"

"You were attacking me first!"

"And? You were a lot meaner."

"Was not. Stop crying." After parking, he unbuckled his seat belt before moving to wipe my eyes. I batted at his hands, but it was useless. Owen just smiled at me.

"These have got to be the fakest tears I have ever seen. And I have a younger sister."

"Stop it."

He just kissed my nose, trying to get me to laugh. "That's not even the worse thing I've ever said to you, Annabel."

"You called me a loser."

"You called me one first!"

"And?"

"Oh, Bell." He pulled back to stare at me now. "Are you really mad at me?"

"Yes."

We just stared into one another's eyes for a moment before he moved away, getting out of the car now.

"Well, I'll be back. When I get back, try to lose the fake tears, huh?"

"They're not fake. I don't like you right now."

"I'm sure."

He took so long in there though, that I was asleep when he got back. At least that's what I realized when he woke me up once we got to his house.

"You coming in?"

I just stared at him bleary eyed for a moment. "Huh?"

"Come on, Bella." He was getting out of the Land Cruiser at that point. "I'll make you a snack."

I just sat there for a moment before moving to get out of the car as well. It was still raining and Owen had come around the Land Cruiser, holding his jacket over my head as he'd done when we walked out of school earlier.

"You have got to start bringing a jacket," he told me as we rushed up to the house. "You know that, Bella?"

"You could just let me get wet. You know, since I'm such a loser."

"Damn. Thought you'd think that was a dream."

"Nope."

"Well then."

When we got into the house, Owen immediately went to his bedroom to change clothes. He'd gotten wet, protecting me. Usually that'd make me ecstatic, but currently it was just annoying me.

"I think we're alone, Bell," Owen told me when he came out again, now in some basketball shorts and a t-shirt. I just sat there on the couch, watching as he carried in some blankets and pillows.

"For you," he told me, setting them on the ground. "While I play Xbox. I get real into, you know, when I'm online or whatever, so I figured you'd just wanna lay down here with me."

I wasn't sure how those two things connected, but did go ahead and oblige by getting on the floor. Owen just smiled as I cuddled under one of the blankets before going out of the room, more than likely in search of food. It's all he seemed to think about other than music anyways.

"Okay, Bell," he said as he came back into the room bearing sandwiches and soda. "Now mind you that this lunchmeat I had to buy with my own money, so you're lucky I'm giving you some. You know Mom and her vegan spiel."

Since the woman's been doing it for years now, I had my doubts on it being just some spiel, but considering I wasn't talking to him at the moment, I remained silent on the topic. Then again, Owen wasn't some wordsmith. There was a good chance he had no idea what spiel even meant.

"Not hungry?" he asked when I didn't even move to take one of the sandwiches. He just picked one up and began to eat, not caring much as he flipped on the television and grabbed his game controller. I was now second in the world. Well, really a lot further down, but I was grouping all the boy stuff like videogames and eating together into one group.

It wasn't hard to fall asleep next to Owen, all snuggled up in blankets and lying with my head on a pillow. He just sat next to me with his back against the couch, eating and playing videogames. That's the life, right?

When I woke up, Owen was mumbling something about scopes while staring intently at the screen. I just snuggled closer to him, closing my eyes once more.

"Bear?"

"Not now."

"I think I'm sick."

"Why do you think that? Just 'cause you're tired?"

"No." I sniffled. "My throat's sore. I-"

"Bella, if you're sick, you gotta go."

"What?"

"I mean, I'll go over to your place with you or whatever, but my sister can't be around sick people."

"Mmmm."

He sighed, glancing down at me. "Do you have a fever?"

"I dunno."

"Let me finish this, huh? Then we can go."

I just leaned my head against his thigh again, closing my eyes. I was freezing now that I had woken up and my headache had only gotten worse.

"Bella."

"Mmmm?"

"Come on. Get up again."

"I don't feel good, Bear."

It was ten minutes later and apparently Owen had finished with his game.

"I know. Let's get you home, huh? Then you can get in bed, go to sleep."

"I wanna be with you."

"Thought you were mad at me?"

"I'm always mad at you."

"You are."

"I love you."

"Poor Bella. She's so sick, she's d- Where are you going?"

I just jumped up, rushing out of the room and into the bathroom where I vomited up everything I'd eaten that day. I swear.

"Bella."

The last thing I ever wanted Owen to see was me getting sick. I'm sure I look horrible when I'm throwing up. Then again, I doubt there's someone who looks hot doing it."

"Uh…here." Owen came into the bathroom too as I flushed the toilet, moving to get me a wet washcloth. "You are sick."

"I'm sorry, Bear."

"No, no. You made it to the toilet. No clean up. That's perfect." He ran the washcloth across my face and I tried to turn away. It was cold as ice or at least felt that way. Owen just kissed my head, sighing slightly.

"This is, like, the worse day ever."

"Let's just get you home, huh? Let me get you one of my hoodies to wear. It'll warm you up some."

"I just want to go home."

"Of course." Owen glance sideways at me again. "You're not going to, uh, do that again, are you? Throw up? 'cause I'd really like to keep that out of my Land Cruiser. Not that I'd be mad at you or-"

"I think I'm fine, Bear."

"I'll bring a bag, just in case."

"Whatever. Can we just go?"

He left the bathroom to go get me a jacket and I went ahead and washed my mouth out. I'd thrown up in front of Owen before, of course, but this had to be the worst kind. All the others were nervous pukes. That's bad, but not this bad. This was real vomit. The nitty-gritty kind.

"There you go," Owen said once we got into the car, his heat turned on full blast. I just sat there miserably, his hoodie way too big on me to keep me warm. It also sort of smelled and was making me nauseous.

"I'm sorry, Bear."

"No problem. Hope you don't mind me bringing my Xbox over though. I just wanna play-"

"It's fine. You don't even really have to stay if you don't want."

"I want to. I just want to play my Xbox too."

Of course.

I was able to stay awake long enough for us to get to my house. Neither of my parents were home though, so I just sent out a text telling them I was there with my boyfriend before calling it a day.

"You wanna go up to your room?"

"Thought you wanted to play that game thing?" I collapsed on the couch with a groan the second we made it to the living room. I slipped Owen's now rain soaked hoodie off before pulling the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapping up in it.

"I do. I just thought you'd-"

"Play it then," I told Owen as he dropped the bag with it inside on the ground. "Go up to my room first though and bring me my pillow and another blanket, please."

I was nearly asleep when he got back. He was carrying with him a little teddy bear he bought me once when we first got together along with the things I asked for.

"You remember this?"

"Of course," I mumbled as Owen put the pillow under my head before throwing the blanket over me. "You got it for me last year when I got the flu."

"Mmmhmm. 'cause I love you."

I smiled weakly as he gave me the bear too. "It's kinda funny now."

"What is?"

"That you're Bear now."

"I am."

"And you got me a bear."

"Teddy bears are pretty common, Bella."

"Let me have this."

"Okay." He bent down and gave me a kiss on the head before covering me over better. Then, of course, he got to work hooking up his game system.

"Can you get me some water?" I asked. "Before you start playing that?"

"Of course."

That was probably the last thing I said to Owen for a few hours. When I woke up, it was to complete darkness. When my eyes settled, I realized that there was a candle burning somewhere nearby. From the shadows I figured it was from the kitchen.

"Owen?" I sat up slowly as thunder shook the house again. Sighing, I got off the couch before heading into the kitchen. I found my father at the table, reading a book by the light of candles, my mother across from him, reading a magazine.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Oh." Dad's head shot up. "You woke up."

"Yeah. Where's Owen? Is the power out?"

"Storm knocked it out, honey," Mom told me, not looking up from her magazine. "I got home before it got real bad. Your boyfriend was here still, playing videogames. I sent him home though, knowing the storm was getting worse. I didn't want him driving home in it at all, really, but knew he couldn't stay here and wasn't sure how long it'd last."

"He mentioned you were sick," Dad said. "Or so your mother said."

"I don't feel good."

"I don't think there'll be school tomorrow anyways," Mom told me. "Powers out all over town after all. Don't think it's coming back on tonight. Did you take any medicine before you went to bed?"

"No."

"Here." She stood before going over to the cabinet and pulling some pill bottles out. "Take these and go to bed, honey. He said you threw up."

"Yeah. Just once."

"Well, take some crackers upstairs with you to snack on if you get hungry. Unless you want to sleep down here on the couch. That's fine too." She handed me some pills. "Your boyfriend was worried about you."

Dad snorted while I just said, "Really?"

"Yes." Mom smiled at me in the darkness. "He really wanted to stay. He kept explaining to me that he thought that you some kind of bacterial infection or something because he looked it up on Google or something. It was very cute."

"Cute, right," Dad grumbled, shaking his head.

"I think I'm going back to bed," I told my mother, figuring it was best to ignore my father.

"Well, we won't wake you up in the morning," she said after feeling my forehead to check for fever. "You just rest, okay? And if you need us, just call for us."

Nodding, I went back to the living room to gather up my stuff before heading upstairs. The storm was still coming down outside, making it a black night. There was no light anywhere, it seemed.

When I made it to my bedroom, I just slipped out of my jeans before getting into bed, making sure to get my cell out of the pocket. Luckily I had enough service to text Owen. I had, like twenty messages from him and three missed calls.

_I'm alive, if you're up and want to talk._

It didn't take him long to call me.

"I didn't want to leave you, but when your mom insisted, I didn't want to wake you up. You'd slept so good." Owen didn't even give me a chance to say hello after answering. "Then again, after you woke up the first time you puked, so you know."

"I'm not going to school tomorrow," I told him. "So don't pick me up."

"I won't."

"Do you guys have power?"

"No. Mom and Mallory got stuck over at Cam's."

"You're home alone?"

"Yeah. Just me and my Ipod."

"Poor Bear."

"Poor me."

I cuddled his teddy bear to me before snuggling under the covers. "I forgot about this, you know."

"What?"

"This teddy bear. Where did you find him?"

"He was just sitting up on your dresser. He used to sleep on your bed with you."

"Yeah, I remember."

"Poor Teddy."

"Very poor Teddy. Getting demoted."

"Mmmm."

"I wish you were here to snuggle," I told Owen then. "Don't you?"

"I guess so."

"Bear."

"I don't want to get sick too."

"Mom said that you were worried."

"Of course I was. My girlfriend just got sick out of nowhere."

"Not nowhere."

"Yes out of nowhere. It just sprung up on me. I wasn't expecting it at all. That's out of nowhere."

I sighed slightly. "I love you, Owen."

"Yeah, I know. Feel better, okay?"

"Are you going to be okay over there all alone?"

"I think so, yeah."

"Well, I'd say call me if you needed something, but I'm about to go into a deep sleep."

"Figured as much."

"So I love you, okay?"

"I know. I love you too. And I will be up more than likely if you want to call, alright?"

"'kay."

"Just get better, Annabel. If we don't have school tomorrow 'cause of power being out or whatever, I'll come over. If we do though, I'll come over after. Or before, if you call and tell me you're up. I just don't want to bother you. Or better yet, maybe I'll-"

"Bear, I'm about to pass out here."

"Oh right." He laughed slightly. "Sorry. I'm just-"

"Worried, I know."

"So I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"'kay."

After hanging up, I immediately fell back into a dreamless sleep. I think my mother's sleeping pills were drowsy or something. I didn't wake up again until eight the next morning. And even then, it was just to throw up. I didn't even think I had something in my system.

"You up?"

I was in the bathroom, still over the toilet when my father walked by. I just moaned in response.

"You need something, Annabel?" He stood in the doorway. "Do you need more medicine? Are you okay?"

"I think so."

"Go back to bed, huh? I should bring you a bucket from the garage, in case you can't make it to the bathroom."

"I think I'm fine now."

"Better safe than sor-" He stopped as the doorbell rang. Frowning, he headed out of the bathroom, calling over to me that he'd go answer the door before coming to check on me again.

When I made it back to my bedroom, I wasn't shocked to find the car outside was the Land Cruiser. I didn't think about it much before I realized I was still in the same shirt as the day before and also in my underwear. Still, I was already in bed at that point and really didn't care. Owen had seen me in less.

"Bella? You up?" He came into my bedroom, knocking on the open door. "Your dad said you were and that I could come up. Guess he's in a good mood today."

I just peaked out from him from under the covers I'd thrown over my head. "I'm sick."

"I know."

"I just threw up."

He frowned. "Glad we're so open with each other."

"Bear-"

"There's no power. Like anywhere in town. School got cancelled." He came forward, holding out a teddy bear. It was brown as opposed to my other white on that he'd given me before. It was also slightly bigger. Oh, and it was old and ratty and nasty and stained. Yeah, there was that. "I kept waiting to come over and I was so bored. So I got you this guy."

"Kinda dirty."

"Bella, it was mine."

"Well obviously." I threw the covers down a little so I could sit up. I took the bear from him, looking at it. "Was it your favorite stuffed animal?"

"One of them."

"One?"

"I had, like, two the I took everywhere with me. He was just the one I found."

"How'd it make it here?"

"Huh?"

"From Arizona?" I looked up at him. "Safety blanket?"

"You could say that."

"That's cute, Bear." I smiled up at him weakly, moving to lay down again, both the stuffed animals with me now. "Thank you."

"Of course. I just want you to feel better, Bella."

I smiled at him. "I don't feel so tired right now."

"That's good."

"You can stay if you wanna."

"Are you just going to sleep?"

"I don't think so. I'm not tired."

"I don't have anything better to do," Owen said, still standing there, staring down at me. "With the power out and all."

"At least it's Friday," I told him. "So we don't have to worry about school tomorrow."

"The way you feel, you wouldn't have to worry about it any-" He frowned as his phone rang. "That's Rolly, probably."

"Answer it."

"Nah. He'll just want to hangout." Owen silenced his phone before moving to sit in front of my bed. "I want to take care of my girl today."

Smiling, I rolled onto my side, the teddy bears under my arm. "Good. I wanna be taken care of today."


	10. Chapter 10

Comfort

Chapter 10

"Dad? What are you doing?"

He hardly glanced up at me as I came into the room. "Watching old home tapes."

"Oh." I stood in the doorway to the living room for a moment, watching him. "Uh, why?"

"Kirsten's coming down for Thanksgiving. I just wanted to remind myself why I used to actually like her. 'cause right now, she could never speak to me again and I'd be fine."

Ouch. I just stood there for a moment, staring at the screen.

"Dad, this isn't a tape about Kirsten. This me walking."

"I know. Your first steps."

"Then what-"

"Kirsten gets antsy about halfway in and starts just singing. For no reason. She'd hate when we'd pay attention to you. Hated it when we'd pay attention to Whitney too." He laughed slightly as if this tickled him. "Like on your first birthday, your mother bought this elaborate cake. Really nice. I'd just gotten a new job and we had some money to spend. Kirsten pushed the cake off the counter before anyone got a piece. Ruined it, the girl did. All because she was jealous."

I frowned, staring at him. "Uh, Dad?"

"Hmmm?"

"That's horrible. Not funny."

"Oh, I know. At the time, I was so angry with her. She was always being mean to you. But now, it's funny, see, because it's over. Now it's cute." Dad patted the spot next to him. "Come here. Watch with me."

It was the Sunday before the last week of school before Thanksgiving break. We'd get the whole week off, so really the week before was a joke as far as class went. Still, it'd give me and Owen a chance to be together, so I wasn't complaining.

"You have a radio show in the morning, huh?" Dad asked as I sat down next to him.

"I do."

"You know I always listen. Even out on the job." He smiled at me before looking back at the television. He was right; Kirsten was now belting out the lyrics to some song that I didn't know. It was probably popular when I was a baby, given the fact she knew all the words.

"She was such an attention stealer," Dad went on, smiling fondly at the memory of her ruining my first steps. Yeah. "Like when you were two and we had that house with a pool. I had been trying to teach you to swim, but you didn't like the water and kept crying, so I sat you on the ledge and just let you kick your feet in. When I turned to say something to Whitney though, Kirsten pushed you into the pool."

"Again, Dad, that's not funny. Why did she hate me so much?"

"She was just jealous."

"I could have died."

"Oh, I was right there," he waved me off. "You weren't in any danger."

"Dad."

"You weren't."

"I feel like Kirsten puts me in danger a lot. I almost got hit by a car, she threw me into the pool-"

"She pushed you down the stairs that once when you were eight."

"Yean, I remember."

He just wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer to him. "Kirsten was always more jealous of you than she was Whitney. Whit was very independent. She always wanted to do things on her own and be alone. You constantly needed me though, to help you. She hated that."

"I don't remember her being that mean to me."

"She was though. The day we brought Whitney home from the hospital, she was so happy to have a sister. Then, when we brought you home, you cried the whole night. I mean the whole night. You cried constantly. More than Kirsten or Whitney ever did. She and Whitney both wanted you gone. Kirsten even made me a list of the reasons we should send you back."

Is it beat up on Annabel day or something? I frowned up at him.

"You might be finding your love for Kirsten in this, but I'm sure not."

"You just don't remember these things, Annabel. I do. Like it was yesterday." He shrugged slightly. "It's just nostalgia, I suppose."

We both sat there for a moment, watching the television for a moment before I spoke again.

"Dad?"

"Hmmm?"

"You don't really hate Kirsten now, do you?"

"Of course not."

"And you won't hate her baby, will you?"

"It'll be my first grandson, Annabel."

"Or granddaughter."

"Eh."

"Dad."

"You know what I mean." He smiled at me. "Am I happy with Kirsten currently? Not in the slightest. She's still my daughter, Annabel. She'll always be my daughter."

"Even if she had murdered me when we were kids?"

Smiling slightly, he kissed the top of my head. "Even then."

"What if I killed her?"

"I'd hire you the best defense attorney in town if we couldn't cover it up."

"Dad."

"I love you, Annabel." He hugged me slightly. "You know that?"

"Yeah."

"So where were you tonight?" He glanced down at me. "Huh?"

"Owen and I went out to eat with his mother."

"Really now?"

I nodded. "It was alright. It was some vegan restaurant."

"We have one of those in Lakeview?"

"We have a lot of things in Lakeview besides the burger and steak places you frequent."

"Was that a slight?"

"No. I was just saying."

"You have school in the morning," he told me then. "You had better go to bed soon."

"I will," I assured him, not moving in the slightest. "I just wanna watch this with you for a little bit. That's all."

"That's alright," he assured me. "That's quite alright."

* * *

"School sucked today."

"Next week's Thanksgiving break," I whispered to Owen as he stroked the back of my head. "Just push through."

"It's so close to the end now."

"Mmmm."

"Are you scared?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Bella."

Smiling up at him, I said, "I'm not a dinky little bear after all."

Sighing, he stared up at his ceiling. "I don't know why I put up with you."

"Because you love me."

"'cause I love you."

We were lying on his bed, me laying half on Owen's chest, half not. He was only in his jeans, claiming that he was feeling hot or something. I hardly listened to him when he spoke. He had been right; the day had sucked. I just wanted to spend the rest of the time before he had to go to work together, alone.

"If we were ever trapped in a fire and I was trapped under a fallen beam or something and there was no way for you to get me out, would you run and leave me to get to safety or die there with me?"

Owen frowned, looking down at me. "Are you on something?"

"It's just a hypothetical question, Bear."

He just blinked.

"Hypothetical means-"

"No, I know what hypothetical means."

"Oh yeah? So tell me."

"Don't test me." He looked back up at the ceiling, sighing slightly. "I don't know, Annabel, if I'd leave you. Would you want me to?"

"I dunno."

"Well, this was your question."

"It's your answer that's important though."

"That's a tough one though."

"So you'd leave me?"

"No." He shook his head then, sighing. "I'd die trying to get that beam off you."

I kissed his chest, smiling. "That's cute."

For a moment, he just laid there. Then, he asked, "So what if the roles were reversed?"

"What do you mean, Bear?"

"What if I was trapped or whatever and going to die, would you stay with me or leave me behind?"

"No brainer. I'd leave you in a heartbeat."

"Annabel-"

"At least I'm honest."

He sighed slightly as the song changed to a loud rock one. Reaching over with one hand, he grabbed his stereo remote off the side table, turning the volume down with it.

"I wouldn't want you to stay with me anyways," he told me, shaking his head slightly. "I wouldn't want you to die. I'd want you to get out."

"Oh. Good. Then we're both happy."

We weren't though. I could tell by the look on his face it was still bothering him.

"So would you want that for me then?" he asked finally.

"Want what for you, Bear?"

"Would you want me to leave too? Would you not want me to die with you?"

"No," I said slowly. "I would want you to."

"That's not fair, Annabel."

"Welcome to life."

I could tell it was still bothering him though, so I went ahead and told him, "It's just a hypothetical thing, Bear. There's no way that we'd ever be put in that situation."

"I would die for you."

"Owen-"

"I would."

"It's not important, Owen."

"It is to me. Would you not die for me?"

"I don't know. No. I don't think so."

"Annabel-"

"I'd be sad if you died, I'm sure, but I wouldn't kill myself over it." I looked up at him now, frowning slightly. "And you wouldn't kill yourself if I died. Right?"

"I don't know. Shut up."

"Owen-"

"I just think that if we were in a burning building, I would stay with you. Even if I knew that it was stupid, that you were already gone, I'd stay there with you. Die with you. 'cause that's what you do when you love someone."

"…You know, I'm about tired of the things I say as jokes turning into something emotional."

He just shut his eyes. "Whatever, Annabel. I've got to get ready for work."

I frowned as he moved to get out of the bed, leaving me behind. "Do you want me to leave?"

"How would you get home, Bella? I drove you here." He shook his head. "I'll drop you off on the way into work. I'm going to take a shower."

"'kay." I settled down on his bed, still slightly annoyed that he wasn't up there with me anymore. "Can you put a different CD in though? I don't like this one much."

"Yeah, sure," he said, doing as asked before gathering up his work clothes and leaving the room. I was only in there alone for a few minutes before the door opened again. Only it wasn't Owen.

"Annabel?"

"Come here," I sighed, sitting up the second I heard her voice. Mallory quickly moved to sit down on the bed next to me. "What's up?"

She just stared at me for a moment, I think taking in my outfit. I hadn't felt like getting up this morning and only thrown on a hoodie and jeans. This must have been to her satisfaction, because she didn't rib me for it.

"I have a new operation I'm supposed to undergo next week."

I frowned. "What?"

"Owen didn't tell you?"

I shook my head at her. "I thought…I just thought that they weren't…that they didn't think…"

"It's a last ditch effort, I guess." She looked at me then, full on. "It's next Monday."

"Oh. I'll be off from school, so I'll come see you in the hospital, okay?"

Nodding, slightly, she smiled some as she said, "Dad's coming down. He'll be here for Thanksgiving."

"Oh."

"Now I don't have to worry about him finding out about Darien."

"I told you, Mallory, that he's a dick if he doesn't want to be with you."

I got another nod for that, but I could tell by the way she turned away from me slightly that she didn't want to talk about it.

"Do you and your dad get along?" she asked me then, turning her green eyes back to me.

"Extremely well."

"That good."

"Yeah."

"Does he like Owen?"

Hesitating, I said, "He used to. They used to play videogames with each other."

"Really?"

"Mmmhmm."

"What happened?"

"Just a lot of things. My dad and mom started fighting and he didn't like Owen being around for so much of it, I think. Maybe he thought he was intruding or something. I don't know." I shook my head slightly. "Then that day when Owen punched all the mirrors? Because we fought? Owen called me some names and it really upset me. My dad's really hated him since then."

"What did he call you?"

"It's really not-"

"What?"

"A bitch is all," I said, saying the words quickly, not sure if that was really as horrible an offense as I took it.

"Is all? Owen called you that?"

"Well, yes, but he was just-"

"That's terrible."

Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought so.

"I know. And all I did was tell him that I didn't want to move to Arizona with him and get married, that that was a stupid idea. And it is. Isn't it?"

Mallory just stared at me for a second. "Owen asked you to marry him?"

Blushing, I realized my error. "Mallory, I didn't mean to tell you-"

"He really asked you? When? What did you say?"

"It's not like that," I assured her. "It was just a…momentary lapse of judgment. Owen was feeling really down and-"

"Oh. So you guys were drunk."

"No," I said, frowning. "We weren't."

"Then what?"

"He was just upset."

"About what though? What made him that upset?"

"You, Mal." I smiled at her then. "He was just really upset about how…badly you were doing and-"

"And he was going to run off and leave me?"

"Well-"

"That doesn't sound like he felt bad for me. That sounds like him being a bad brother."

"He was just scared, Mallory. Owen is so worried about you is all."

"If you say so."

"Hey, Mal, don't tell anyone about this, okay?" I asked after a moment. "Just keep it between the two of us, huh? A secret."

She just sat there for a moment before turning to lean against me. "Owen really loves you."

"I know."

"And if you had said yes, then we'd have been sisters. Right?"

Smiling, I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, hugging her to me slightly. "Mallory, no matter what happens between me and your brother…I still care about you, okay? I'll always be there for you."

After a moment, she whispered, "Is this your way of telling me that you'll go to my funeral even if you and Owen break up?"

"No," I said slowly. "This is my way of telling you that I love you."

"Oh." She smiled slightly. "I love you too."

* * *

"On a scale of one to awesome, how hot do you think I look in this?"

I just glanced at Clarke before sighing. "Not now."

"When you agreed to come over to help me pick out my outfit to make James jealous, I hope you know that I denied all my other friends to have that joy."

I just stared at her from my position hanging upside down on the bed. "I'm just worried is all."

"About Owen's sister, I know."

"I just feel so bad."

"You've felt bad for over half a year. What's suddenly caused you to get like this?"

"I was with her today before I came over here. Owen was in the shower or whatever and-"

"And because you're a prude, you weren't in there with him."

"…Anyways, Mallory came into his room while I was in there. She just… It's scary, okay?"

"I know."

"I hate spending time with her now because I'm always convinced that it's going to be the last time. I don't want there to be a last time. If there are no times there can't be a last time. You know?"

"Not exactly, no."

"Clarke-"

"It's just weird for you, Annabel, because you've never lost anyone. No one you're super close to. Like in a death way, I mean."

"My grandparents are all dead."

"Yeah, but you didn't know them. You didn't care about them. They just sent you money on birthdays and stuff, right?" She watched me for a moment. "I think it's kind of sad, really, that you've never lost anyone. It makes you so unprepared for life. I mean, what are you going to do when someone you know really does die?"

"I think," I began before pausing. "I think that losing someone that way is kind of like when you're not friends with someone anymore. Or your friend moves away."

"That's because you've never experienced it before."

"Owen has," I told her. "He has a big family. I'm sure he's lost a cousin or uncle or something."

"Yeah, but a sister's different."

I thought about what I'd do if I lost either of mine. Though we weren't particularly close these days I still couldn't fathom it. "Yeah, I know."

Slowly, she came to sit down next to me on the bed as I rolled over so I was laying right side up.

"The two of you will probably break up, you know, if she does die."

"What?"

She shrugged. "He'll change. It's only natural that the two of you'll break up. Not to mention with college coming up and him staying behind and stuff. It was bound to happen anyways. I mean, you don't really think that two of you will make it, do you?"

"I don't know."

"Annabel."

"I know, it's stupid to think like that, but I just can't help it."

She patted me on the shoulder. "It'll suck when you do lose Owen though."

"How come?"

"He is a pretty good boyfriend, I will admit," she said, shrugging slightly. "You'll just, like, always be comparing other guys to him and stuff. It'll be hard to find one that's so easy to get to do your bidding."

It was my turn to shrug. "Just shoot under you. They're way more willing to please."

We both shared a smile at that.

"Now, really, tell me what you think." She stood again, doing a little turn so I could see the outfit from all angles. "Yes or no?"

"Lose the hat," I told her. "Either that or pick a better one. It doesn't flow well."

She went over to her mirror hanging on the back of her closet door, grabbing a hat off the rack on her desk while she was at it. "I wish I had Rolly's old Fedora. You know the one that I would-"

"Yeah, I know."

She was watching me in the mirror now. "Does he ask about me?"

"Clarke-"

"Does he?"

"Not really," I told her, borrowing Owen's honesty act. It always worked best. For the most part anyways. "He's not dating anyone though, if you want to know the truth. Just random girls."

"Great."

"You said it yourself that you were completely done this time."

"And I am. I just wish I hadn't given him that damn Fedora back."

"Maybe Owen has one."

"Annabel."

"Maybe I'll buy him one and then make him let you borrow it."

"That's creepy."

"Do you just want me to buy you one?"

"Even creepier." She shook her head as she turned to face me once more. "I'll just roam the rest of my days on this Earth without it."

"Mmmm." I shifted on her bed so that I could see the crossword book sitting on the nightstand. "I know a girl that, like, lives for crosswords."

"Really now."

"Yeah. You might know her. She's the girlfriend of the lead singer of some band Owen knows. Rolly's cousin's band."

"Right. Remy. She's a bitch."

"Clarke."

"Well, the truth hurts."

"That's their name. Truth Squad."

She shrugged as she came back over to the bed and sat down. "So are you going to this party with me tonight or what? We still have time to stop by your place and get you an outfit together."

"What's wrong with a hoodie and jeans?"

"Annabel."

"Besides, Clarke, you know I'm not allowed to go to parties."

"The control you and Owen give each other over the other's life is astounding sometimes."

"He just doesn't like me going out without him."

"That's bizarre, Annabel."

"It's not bizarre, really, it's-"

"No, you're right. Bizarre isn't the word." She studied her nails as she said, "Future stalkerish is the correct terminology.

"Clarke."

"What? He's controlling, thinks he'll die without you, and has violent tendencies. I like the two of you together, but come on, face the facts. You're four fights away from your body being found in a ditch."

"God, I think I liked you better in junior high," I groaned as I rolled back onto my back, hanging my head over the edge once more.

"Yeah," she sighed, patting my stomach. "Me too."

* * *

"I appreciate and love the fact that you and my sister get along so well, but did you really have to tell her that I asked you to marry me?"

I groaned, barely able to hold my cell to my ear. "It's, like, four in the morning, Bear. You're lucky I answered."

"Yeah and I just got finished having a long talk with my mother about how wrong it is to even consider and how she thinks that you've distracted me from my goals in life."

"Last I checked, that radio show was still going. And considering your other goal is knocking me up, I think marrying me had you right on track."

"You are not funny right now."

"And who could be at four in the morning?" Rolling over, I finally opened my eyes fully, yawning. "God, I ought to kill you. I have a show this morning too. I had to get up in an hour anyways."

"Yeah, well so did I and I've got no sleep."

"Then don't go, Owen. I can do it alone."

"Oh, you can do it alone? Really? Really? You wouldn't even have that radio show if-"

"Are you yelling at me? At, might I repeat, four in the morning?"

"…Maybe."

"I am two seconds from hanging up, Owen Armstrong. I swear to-"

"Wait. I'm just… Why did you tell Mallory that? I thought that we were passed all that?"

"We are. I guess. I just…I just told her. I don't know, Owen. It just came out I guess."

"Something like that just came out? When were the two of you even together?"

"When you were in the shower. We just started talking."

"About?"

"Clearly being in-laws."

"Annabel-"

"I'm tired, Bear, and I have less than an hour to sleep. Please, can't this wait until we see each other in, oh, an hour and half?"

"I just can't believe that you told her."

"It's really not that big of a deal."

"Yeah, because you're not me. My mom already thinks I'm freaking crazy. This is just great, Annabel. Just-"

"You're breaking up, Bear. I can't hear you."

"Anna-"

I hung up on him. There. That was that.

…Until he came to pick me up in the morning.

"Hanging up on me? Not picking up the phone when I called back. Real mature."

"Thanks."

I got the stink eye for that. "I swear to God, Annabel-"

"Chill out. Pop-Tart?" I smiled at him as he opened the Land Cruiser door for me after having walked me out to the car. He took the offered pastry from me before going to get in his side of the car, so I assumed us made up. That was easy.

"I listened the playlist five times this week and still hate it."

"I know, Bear," I said as I let him buckle me in. "But it's not made for the enlightened. It's made for the ignorant."

"Ha." He kissed me quickly before moving back to his own seat. "You've been really witty the past few days."

"Thank you."

"It wasn't a compliment."

I just took a bite of my own Pop-Tart before speaking again. "So how much trouble are you in?"

"Not much. She thought having a long talk would fix everything."

"Nothing was broken."

"I know."

"Besides, we didn't do anything. You were just upset."

"…You didn't have to tell her that I called you a bitch."

I glanced at him before shaking my head. "You said it, not me."

"I know."

"You're Mr. Honesty."

"I don't deny doing it. I just wish you hadn't told her."

"Well, life happens."

"Annabel-"

"It does."

Sighing, he turned up his stereo slightly. "I wish I could just skip school after the show today. Drop you off and leave."

"You can't miss anymore days."

"Yeah, I know."

"You've really shot yourself in the foot this time, Owen." Glancing over at him, I asked, "Have you made a decision then?"

"About?"

"Coming back next semester. Or are you dropping?"

"I dunno yet."

"That's something you need to figure out soon, Bear."

"I know."

"I just think that you're so close to the end that you at least try."

"I guess so."

"I mean, I don't want to influence you or anything, but I think you should finish."

"Yeah, I know. Mom's not so for me dropping out anymore anyways. She thinks that it was part of the plan when we were going to run off and get married."

"We were never doing that."

"She thinks we were thanks to you."

"I told Mallory not to tell anyone though."

"And you thought that would work?"

"What is up with you and arguing with me? And over something so silly. We're not getting married." I flipped down the visor to check my hair one last time. "Besides, I've told you before that I'm not marrying anyone until I'm at least twenty-five."

"Yeah, I know."

I glanced over at him as I flipped the visor back up. "I was with Clarke last night."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmmhmm. We just talked before she went out."

"Why didn't you go?"

Making a face at him, I said, "My boyfriend hates for me to go out without him."

"You could have gone out with Clarke if you wanted, Annabel."

"It was a party."

"Oh."

"So yeah."

"I just don't want you hurt, Annabel."

"It was one time."

"I know."

"You're just controlling."

"Maybe," he said softly as we turned into the station. "I just love you, Annabel."

"I know." In a twisted way though, I'm sure. "It's okay. I just went home and studied for a test I have Thursday. Better spent time, huh?"

"Yeah. Way better." He shook his head slightly. "Way, way better."

* * *

"I feel like we spend a lot of time in your room."

"You didn't have to come home with me," Owen pointed out, still facing his computer.

"Yes, I did. It's your off day. What else would you have done today?"

"Hangout with Rolly."

"Yeah, but does he have boobs?"

"I wasn't saying I'd rather do that. I was just stating a fact."

I shifted on his bed, sighing. "I'm not tired today."

"Alert the media."

"Bear."

"I'm working on my term paper, Bella. This thing sucks."

"Don't I know it."

"Have you started yours?"

"Babe, I've finished it."

"What did I tell you about that?"

Smiling, I laid my head down on his pillow. "So what are you going to get me for Christmas this year?"

"Uh, I don't know. What do you want?"

"A ring."

"Annabel."

Giggling, I said, "So what did she say to you? Like literal words?"

It was another day after school spent at Owen's. His mother wasn't home though and neither was his sister. Usually that meant some kind of fooling around, but so far, Owen's been on his computer the whole time. Which is fine. Believe me.

"I don't know, Annabel."

"How long did the two of you talk for?"

"Hours. The topic spanned over more than just my relationship with you, which she thinks has not only gone on long enough, but has gotten too heavy too fast."

"I've known you over a year now. And our anniversary is coming up."

He groaned. "Do I have to get you a gift for that and Christmas?"

"You don't _have_ to. You should want to."

"Well, as long as you make me food for that too, I guess I can push through."

"You're taking me out to eat for that, stupid."

"What?"

"It's a rule."

"Where is this rule book? Huh?"

"In my mind."

"Annabel-"

"It's just something you do, Owen."

"Yeah, but it's not something you have to do."

"Either way, I'm not cooking you dinner for it."

"Then what are you going to get me?"

"I don't know, Owen. What do you want?"

"Mmmm…that new videogame just-"

"No." Frowning over at him, I said, "It has to be something romantic."

"How are you going to tell me what I can get as a gift? It's my anniversary too, ain't it? Videogames are romantic for me."

"Maybe for Christmas, Bear," I gave in, sighing. "What's it called?"

"I'll write it down for you so you don't get the wrong thing."

"I swear, you're, like, twelve." Snuggling under his covers, I said, "I'm going to buy you a laptop one day."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You'd need a job for that."

"No. I'd need to just ask my parents for some money."

I'm sure he rolled his eyes as he said, "Or that."

"College is going to suck."

"Why?"

"They won't be right there for me to just ask for money."

"Annabel-"

"I'm kidding." Rolling onto my back now, I said, "I know that I'm going to have to get a job eventually, Owen. I just don't want to."

"No one does. You just suck it up and do it."

"You act like you have a serious job. You deliver freaking pizzas. Come on."

"It's more than you do."

"It's hardly a job at all."

"Still more than you do."

"Still not really a job."

"Why don't you shut up, Annabel? God. That job sure pays for you when we go out on dates."

"I could pay," I defended.

"No. Your dad could pay. That's what that would be. Daddy's money. Just like always."

"Screw you."

"Like it's not true?" He snorted. "I don't know why you just won't admit it, Annabel. You're spoiled. It's not always a bad thing."

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"I know. I'm sorry."

After a moment of just laying there, I said, "I wish you didn't have to do this stupid paper so we could go out."

"Where did you wanna go, Bella?"

"There's a movie out that I want to see."

"Why didn't you say so? We could go now. Just let me check the movie times and-"

"Owen," I complained. "You have to work on your paper."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"Why, Annabel? It's stupid anyways."

"Just do it."

"You wanna go out."

"I wanted to go out last night and I didn't. I can suffer again."

"Annabel-"

"Write, Owen. Then, when you're finished, you can come lay down with me, huh?"

I laid there for at least an hour before Owen came over. And even then, we just made out some before settling against each other.

"Do you think we're boring?"

I nodded at Owen as we both rolled onto our sides to face each other. "A little."

"Oh."

"It's okay though." Stroking his arm now, I smiled at him a little. "What if I had said yes?"

"You did say yes."

"Not to the boring thing, stupid."

"Don't call me names."

"I meant about when you wanted to run off and get married."

"Annabel-"

"Do you think we'd be married by now?"

He just stared at me for a moment. "You know I meant what I said. I told you that. Had you said yes, then yes, we would have."

"I don't think so. I think you'd have come to your senses."

"Annabel, I would marry you right now." He just stared at me with that intense look he always has.

"Would not."

"Bet me."

Watching his eyes, I asked, "Why?"

"Because I love you."

"Owen-"

"And I know what you'll say. That we're young and will change or whatever, but I don't care. I'd marry you. I love you. I've never felt this way before."

"You will again though, Bear, more than likely."

"About you." He shook his head slightly. "You aren't just going to rationalize this for me, Annabel. I-"

I cut him off with a kiss. When I pulled back, I simply said, "Rationalize is a big word for you."

Cupping my cheek, he smiled slightly. "You make me feel dumb."

"It's okay, dinky. I'm the smart one in the relationship. Deal with it."

"Trust me, I have."

"I love your eyes, Owen."

"Think that was my line, Bell."

"I do," I told him honestly. Reaching out, I tried to touch one, but of course he blinked. I stroked his closed eyelid instead.

"Bell?"

"They're so severe. Intense."

"Is that compliment?"

"Observation."

"Ah."

Smiling as I removed my finger, I said, "If we had gotten married, do you think we'd still be in Lakeview?"

"Hell no," he said without even thinking about it. "I would never come back here so long as your father was here."

"You could take him."

"I could," he agreed. "But I'd rather not."

"He'd get over it eventually."

"He just doesn't get that it's over. There's no war. I've won." Owen stroked my lips with one of his fingers. "And I don't plan on vacating my spot as leader anytime soon."

"You're my leader? Might as well say owner."

"Don't be like that." He pushed down on my bottom lip. "I would kill for you."

"That's scary."

"I mean it."

"That's why it's scary."

"I'd die for you too."

"I know you would."

"I just love you so much."

"That's not proof of love, Owen."

"How is it not?" he asked with a snort.

"That's proof of insanity."

"Devotion."

"That's just as scary." Reaching out, I wrapped a hand around his wrist. "I could hurt you, you know."

"That's what makes it love, Bell. I don't care."

"I'm going away to college, Owen."

"I know that. We've talked about that."

"Clarke says-"

"Clarke says, your parents say, my parents say. Who gives a fuck, Annabel? I don't." He looked upset almost. "I love you, baby. And I want you. Forever."

"That's why everyone thinks that you're crazy, Owen. That's, like, future stalker ex-boyfriend things to say."

"I can't love you?"

"You can. Just-"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Annabel, but you've never loved a guy either. Have you?"

I looked off for a moment, letting his wrist go. "Not like this."

"Okay then. Then what's so wrong with accepting that this might be real? 'cause it's damn sure real to me."

"It is to me too." I kissed the finger he had pressed against my lips. "Bear."

I don't know where it went from there. If Owen kissed me or I kissed him. It didn't really matter, I don't think. Somehow he ended up over me once more, hands on either side of my head. This was usual for us now. Normal. What I was thinking though, feeling, wasn't.

"Bear," I whispered as he pulled back some, staring down at me with his green eyes. God, I loved them. Deeply.

"Yes?"

"I want to."

"Wanna what?" He moved to kiss me again, thinking I was just talking, but I turned my head ever so slightly. "What do you want?"

""I want to," I repeated. "You know."

"Right now?"

"Uh-huh."

We just stared at each other for a moment before Owen shook his head.

"Why? Why now?"

"I don't know."

"Annabel-"

"Did you think I'd plan it out or something?"

"I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "I just figured we'd…do something special."

"Owen, you make everything weird." Looking up into eyes, I said, "Most guys just say yeah when their girlfriends want sex."

"I am saying yes," he said, staring right back down at me. "I'm just questioning first."

"Then are you done?"

"No." He moved to lay next to me on his side now. This made me groan. Why wouldn't he just get on board with this like any other usual guy?" God, you're such a chick sometimes."

"I am not. I'd screw you right now."

"That's what I'm asking for."

"Annabel-"

"It was just a sudden thing, Bear. I suddenly want to have sex. Now you've killed it."

"That's my whole point though. If it suddenly popped up like that and then suddenly disappeared, I don't want you to, like, hate me for something later. Or for us to, like, start or whatever and it go south."

"It wouldn't. I want you."

"Do you?" Reaching for me, he ran a hand down my stomach. "Still?"

"Yeah."

"'cause I always have wanted you, Annabel." He kissed the side of my head. "So much."

"Owen…"

"You're just so needy. You need me."

"I don't need you. I want you," I told him. "I'd live without you. I just don't want to."

"I don't think I'd function well anymore, if you were gone."

"Owen-"

"Just having you near me is…comforting."

I glanced over at him as he unzipped my jeans. "Your presence is comforting too."

"You're everything to me."

"Then prove it, Bear. This is what I want."

"I just don't get-"

"You don't have to get it." I shifted on the bed so I was sitting up. "Do you, you know, have something?"

"For what?"

I just stared at him for a moment. "Owen."

"Oh. Oh." He moved to get out of bed. "Yeah, I do. Hold on."

I just watched him for a moment before shutting my eyes and letting out a long sigh. It was scarier than I wanted to admit, knowing that I was about to lose something I'd always had. And why? I wasn't sure. I just…wanted to. Out of nowhere, I just had to do it.

Owen was laughing slightly when he came back to me, just standing there at the side of the bed. I opened my eyes, giving him an odd look.

"You're being creepy."

"I'm just excited." He looked down at what he had in his hand before going back over to his stereo. "We can't have sex while listening to Nirvana."

"I don't know what that is."

He paused. "The more you talk, the more I think this is the wrong idea."

"Owen."

"Music is important, Annabel. You will remember this moment forever. You don't want to lose your virginity to 'The Man Who Sold the World' do you? I mean, I wouldn't mind it, but I just figured it wouldn't be too good for you."

Groaning, I shut my eyes again. "Just hurry up before I change my mind."

"If you feel that way, maybe we shouldn't-"

"God, Owen, just pick a damn CD."

Shooting a look over his shoulder, he said, "Fine. Our song then. That work?"

"Fine. Perfect. Whatever."

Owen quickly located a CD with 'Thank You' on it before coming back to me. He frowned at the look on my face.

"Don't look so nervous, Bella."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me." He slipped back into the bed with me, over me once again. "Just know that we don't have to-"

"Stop, Bear."

"I'm sorry."

"Now who's apologizing?" I tapped his nose as he smiled down at me. "Don't start that crazed laughter again."

"I'll try not to."

Sighing, I pushed up slightly on my elbows to kiss his lips. When I pulled away, I said, "I want to remember you forever."

"You don't have to," he assured me. "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

I shifted uncomfortably as we drove down the street. I could see my glass house and for once, it didn't soothe me. Only made me nervous.

"So, I'll, uh, pick you up in the morning like usual," Owen said when he pulled up in the driveway.

"Okay."

He moved to kiss me goodbye like we usually did, but he just started chuckling. He was really happy about this. I blushed, smiling at him.

"I love you," he told me as he finally kissed me. "I wish you could stay with me."

"I know. Me too."

"I love you," he repeated, staring hard at me while reaching a hand up to cup my cheek. "This is just so…awesome."

"I like the word stellar."

"Stellar," he muttered, kissing me again. "This is the best day of my life."

"Owen-"

"It is. I never thought…" He started laughing again, looking off.

It was then, though, that the lights in the living room of my house came on, shining through the glass front into the darkness. It was late. I had missed dinner. Mom and Dad hadn't called, but I could see them now, through the glass. Dad was watching TV and Mom was in the kitchen. He'd been the one to turn on the light though, I'm sure.

"I think that's them telling me to come inside."

Owen nodded, glancing in there. "I'd go in too, but-"

"I know."

"Let me walk you to the door." He quickly jumped out of the Land Cruiser, quickly rushing to open my door as well. I just smiled at him as he took my hand, leading me up the steps to the porch, carrying my backpack with him.

"I'll call you tonight," he whispered, kissing my head now when we made it to the door. "Okay?"

"Of course."

"And I love you. So much."

"I know."

He started chuckling again. I just kissed him this time before taking my bag and heading into the house.

"You know to call when you're going to miss dinner, Annabel," was the first thing out of my father's mouth.

Hearing his voice for some reason brought heat to my cheeks, my blush more obvious now than ever. I don't know why, but I felt nervous being around them. As if he and Mom would just be able to tell I wasn't a virgin anymore. As if they could smell it on me.

"I'm sorry."

"Did you eat?" Mom called from the kitchen. "We saved your dinner."

"No, I didn't," I said. "I'll come down in a minute. I just need to set my stuff down."

"I'll heat it up for you."

"Thank you."

When I got up to my bedroom, I immediately called Clarke. I wasn't expecting her to pick up, but she did.

"This had better be important. I'm on a date."

"Owen and I slept together."

"…You just come out of the gate with these things, don't you?"

"And it was extremely awkward."

"That's not uncommon for a first time."

I frowned. "Where are you right now?"

"David's house."

"I'll call you back l-"

"He's out of the room. His mom called him or something. We have time." She giggled. "So you and Owen, huh?"'

"Clarke-"

"What made it so awkward? Just doing it or-"

"I bled. Like it got on his sheets."

"What did he say?"

"He didn't notice until he, like, finished or whatever."

"Did he yell at you?"

"What? No."

"Really?"

"Why would he yell at me?"

"I don't know. Most guys would."

"No, I don't think they would."

"So anyways."

"He was, like, shocked."

"Did he not know you had never-"

"He said…" I went to sit down on my bed, sighing slightly. "I'd told him before that I'd never had sex or whatever, but he thought that Cash had-"

"Oh, Annabel-"

"He just told me that he didn't think I would do that and he felt horrible afterwards. He kept apologizing."

"Yeah, that is awkward."

"I know."

"Then what?"

"He knew that I didn't finish, so he asked if I wanted him to, like, finger me, but I told him no. Then I got up to go into the bathroom or whatever and he changed his sheets. I asked if his mom would think that was weird, but he said he hadn't changed them in months anyway, so it'd be fine."

"God, Annabel. You finally lost it."

"Yeah." Swallowing, I moved to lay down on my bed. "It was just…I just suddenly wanted to. I don't…I don't think I'll be with him for forever or anything, but-"

"Is this because of what I said?"

"Kind of."

"Annabel-"

"I just wanted him to be special. Even when it's over between us or whatever, I want to always remember him."

She sighed loudly. "Are you still with him?"

"No. I came home."

"So…did you like it?"

"Not really," I said, rubbing my arm awkwardly. "It was…bad."

She giggled. "Did you tell him?"

"Of course not."

"Did it just hurt or-"

"Yeah."

"It'll hurt more in the morning."

"I think that he thought Cash…but he didn't, you know, get that far, so…"

"Did he mention…Will?"

"Yeah. Right after. When he saw that blood, he asked me if Will…so I told him no and that I really didn't want to think about that." I paused. "I just feel self-conscious around him now."

"It changes thing."

"I know."

"I bet he's psyched," she said, all high and mighty. "Bet he never thought he'd score."

"Clarke-"

"What? You know it's true. This probably made his life."

Groaning, I shut my eyes. "I just feel…weird."

"Like it was a mistake?"

"No," I said slowly. "It wasn't."

Was it?

"Are you on birth control?"

"He had condoms."

"Mmmm. Were you drunk?"

"No."

"So you just felt like it?"

"Yes, Clarke."

"Did he bring it up?"

"No, I did."

"Really now."

"I did. He was just fine with me jerking him off for the rest of eternity."

"It was all he was getting otherwise," she reasoned. "So you made a loser's porn dream come true. Congrats."

"You've been really rude since you and Rolly broke up."

"Yeah, I know. I've changed. Whatever." She paused as I could hear someone speaking in the background. "That's David. I have to go."

Suddenly, that named clicked with me.

"David Johnson? That psycho?"

"I told you I was getting back at James, didn't I?"

With that, she hung up. I just laid there on my bed for a moment, sighing.

"Annabel," I heard my mother calling from downstairs. "Are you alright, honey? Are you not hungry? Sick again?"

"I'm coming," I called to her as I stood up. Clarke was right though; it was now that it was really hurting. I was sore more than anything else.

"What did you and Owen do today?" Mom asked the second I came into the kitchen. She was at that table, reading a cooking magazine. "Just hangout?"

"Yes," I said, glad she wasn't able to see me as I blushed profusely. "Mallory has surgery next week."

"Really? I thought that they were…just trying to make her comfortable now?"

"She said she was having surgery."

"We'll be praying for her," Mom told me, just like she always does when I bring up Mallory. "Owen didn't work today?"

"No. He had a term paper to work on," I said. "So that's what I mostly helped him with."

"It's so good," she said then, glancing up at me, "that he has someone like you to help him out."

"Yeah," I said, going to sit down next to her. "I know."

"Annabel," Dad called then. "Don't eat in there. Come here. I want you to watch this with me."

I glanced at Mom to make sure it was okay to eat my dinner in the living room, only getting up to go when she nodded. Mom wasn't fully back yet from what happened this summer, but at least she came out of her room now.

"What's on?" I asked as I sat down next to him on the couch.

"Cortez."

I held down an eye roll. "We've seen this documentary before."

"I know," he said, smiling at me. "But you liked it so much before that I thought you'd want to watch it again."

"Sure, Dad," I said, shifting away from him. I still felt uncomfortable around him, considering.

He just smiled at me, though he frowned when my phone vibrated. "You guys have been apart for, what, ten minutes?"

"It's not Owen," I said with a sigh. "It's Kirsten. She just text saying she'll be here on Saturday."

"Without the boyfriend."

"With the fiancé," Mom called from the kitchen. "And they're staying in this house, Andrew."

"Not together they're not."

"Drew-"

"You think I'm going to let the two of them share a bed in this house?"

"Kirsten shared many beds in this house, I'm afraid."

"Grace."

"You know it as well as I do."

"Annabel is in the room."

"We all knew, Drew," she told him with a sigh. "You walked in a few times, if I recall."

Dad shut his eyes before letting out a long sigh. "I don't like that boy, Grace."

"You always wanted a son," she said simply. "Now you're getting one. Maybe even a grandson."

"Grace."

I could almost hear the enjoyment she was getting from this. I don't know why she was taking so much pleasure from it though. I guess Dad hurt her cheating; she's hurting him through Kirsten. I guess I'm not the only one with a twisted relationship.

* * *

"Hey, Bell."

I smiled slightly as I opened the front door. "Hi."

Owen started chuckling again, but I just rolled my eyes, closing the front door behind me. He gathered himself before saying, "Glad to see you brought your own jacket today. Though I guess it is still mine."

"It's my favorite," I said.

"Even though it's massively huge on you?"

"It's snuggly." I held a Pop-Tart out to him. "Last show of the week."

"Yeah, I know."

"I feel like we live at the station."

"Only since you play mediocre, mind numbing music."

"Bear."

"Well, you do."

It wasn't until we were in the car though that the gauche feeling really returned. I just sat there, staring straight ahead as Owen buckled me in.

"That's what I'm get you for Christmas," I said then. "A new seat buckle."

"And ruin this?" He kissed my cheek. "I love you. I thought about you all night."

"Mmmm."

"I got the stain out. Kind of."

"Huh?"

"The sheets."

"Oh."

"Do you feel okay?"

"Yes, Owen."

"I was just worried. I mean…you bled so…and blood means something's broken…or whatever…so that must hurt…"

"You learn all that in sex ed?"

"Annabel."

"Let's just stop talking about it," I said, shifting in my seat. "It happened. It's over."

"You didn't like it," he said dryly, staring at me.

"We're going to be late."

"Annabel-"

"Just drive, Bear. It's fine."

"You could have said something."

"It took, like, half a minute. I can deal with half a minute."

That kind of annoyed him. "I didn't mean to finish so early, Annabel. You don't have to say it like that."

"God, Owen, just drive."

"Did you hate it that much?"

"I didn't hate it, Owen."

"You did."

"It'll get better for me."

He looked down at his lap for a moment before back up at me. "Will you bleed again?"

"I doubt it."

"I didn't like that part," he told me. "The blood."

"I know."

"It was like…more than I thought it would be."

"I'm sorry about your sheets."

"Bell, stop worrying about that. I'll buy some more damn sheets if I want. It's not important. I don't care about them. I just sleep on those. You're the one I care about. Hurting you."

I paused for a second before saying, "I just want to get to the show."

"Of course," he said, moving to start the car then. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I just…if you don't like it, Annabel, we can go back to what we did before."

"Let's just not talk about it right now. I want to focus on doing the show, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

"I love you, Owen. So, just don't worry about it, huh?"

"Alright."

Glancing at his right hand, I said, "Your knuckles are going to be scarred for a long time, you know."

"It'll be a good reminder."

"Of?"

"Of how breaking things isn't going to keep you with me. Being good to you is."

"You're better to me than any guy has ever been."

"That's sad, because I've done some pretty rotten things to you."

"You're too hard on yourself."

"We haven't even been together a year yet."

"Close to it."

"I know."

"Right before Christmas."

"Yeah."

"God, I couldn't even hold out a year."

Reaching over, Owen laid a hand on my thigh. "I won't tell if you don't."

"I told Clarke already."

"Oh."

"You told Rolly didn't you?"

"No," Owen said, glancing at me. "But I'm going to. If it's okay."

"It's fine." I sighed, leaning against the car door. "Why didn't you tell me Mallory's having surgery?"

"Didn't come up."

"Owen-"

"I know, I know. I should have told you."

"I care about her too."

"I just…wish I could keep it separate, you know?"

"Keep what separate?"

"You and what's going on."

"What?"

"I hate having to choose or whatever."

"You not choosing, Owen. You're going to be there for your sister. I know that." I looked at him. "I want to be there for her too."

"I know."

"She was excited, when she thought that you asked me to marry her. Thought that it would make us sisters."

He shifted in his seat. "She really likes you."

"I really like her."

"I know."

"I never got to be the older sister," I said, shaking my head.

"You'd be good at it then," he told me then.

"How do you figure?"

"You know everything that sucks about being younger. You'd make it not so bad."

"Keep you from being mean to her."

"I'm not mean."

"You kind of are sometimes, Snoogie."

"I'm protective."

"Yeah, and I know first hand that your protectiveness isn't always a good trait."

"I try."

"Your hardest," I agreed, smiling at him. "You know, Owen, I think she'll make it out of this all okay."

"Annabel-"

"I mean, with the two of us shielding her, what can hurt her?"

That got him to smile finally, glancing over at me as we came to a stop light. "Yeah. What can?"

* * *

**And…done. Mmm, next one's back to Owen's side of things. Not sure if it'll be a five chapter or ten chapter story. Hopefully will be up soon.**


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